Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > WELCOME TO PTO > PTO Quarterly Newsletter
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

PTO Quarterly Newsletter Discussion, submission and suggestions for PrisonTalk's Quarterly Newsletter.

View Poll Results: If asked, where do you say your loved one is?
I tell everyone the truth; that my loved one is incarcerated. 16 34.78%
I only tell my close friends and family about the incarceration. 21 45.65%
I don't tell anyone, anything. It's not their business 4 8.70%
I say they live in another state or city. 4 8.70%
I say they are in the military or overseas. 1 2.17%
Voters: 46. You may not vote on this poll

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-08-2014, 01:42 AM
PTO Liaison's Avatar
PTO Liaison PTO Liaison is offline
Volunteers' Liaison Officer
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 110
Thanks: 41
Thanked 166 Times in 60 Posts
Default What do you tell your friends about your incarcerated loved one? (PTOQ)

What do you tell people about your loved one's situation?
Do you tell your friends where they are or do you deliberately avoid mentioning their location?
Where do you say they live?

Let us know in this poll. Results will be published in our next edition of PTO Quarterly.
The Following User Says Thank You to PTO Liaison For This Useful Post:
Rachel (04-08-2014)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 04-08-2014, 06:39 AM
Siesie617's Avatar
Siesie617 Siesie617 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Mass USA
Posts: 678
Thanks: 263
Thanked 396 Times in 247 Posts
Default

I am a private person for the most part the less people in your business the better. My mom knows of my lo and talked to him on the phone as far as everyone else is concerned I am in a long distance relationship which isn't a lie he is states away
__________________
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley
The Following User Says Thank You to Siesie617 For This Useful Post:
CornbreadFed (04-24-2014)
  #3  
Old 04-14-2014, 08:39 PM
Rachel's Avatar
Rachel Rachel is offline
Busy Dizzy Admin
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Darwin, NT
Posts: 19,299
Thanks: 3,998
Thanked 21,507 Times in 5,539 Posts
Default

If anyone asks about my friends, I will tell them honestly.

I'm not ashamed of the people I care about. They are still human beings.
__________________
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Rachel For This Useful Post:
mooshy (04-27-2014), Patty (04-14-2014), Sunflow (04-27-2014)
  #4  
Old 04-14-2014, 08:44 PM
Patty's Avatar
Patty Patty is offline
WINNING! Admin

PTOQ Editorial Team Member 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Rockford, Illinois
Posts: 38,205
Thanks: 16,072
Thanked 37,819 Times in 10,456 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel View Post
If anyone asks about my friends, I will tell them honestly.

I'm not ashamed of the people I care about. They are still human beings.
I too am a teller of truth regardless of the consequence. Being in prison or loving someone who is incarcerated does not define a person. It does however define those who would judge such. I'm just sayin'
__________________
For those who can, contributions to keep PTO up and running are most welcome HERE

THIS CORRESPONDENCE
IS FROM A WOMAN IN LOVE
WITH A FORMER INMATE OF
THE ILLINOIS DEPARTMENT
OF CORRECTIONS






Last edited by Patty; 04-14-2014 at 08:47 PM..
The Following User Says Thank You to Patty For This Useful Post:
Sunflow (04-27-2014)
  #5  
Old 04-14-2014, 09:00 PM
LadySapphire's Avatar
LadySapphire LadySapphire is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: L.A County
Posts: 78
Thanks: 160
Thanked 31 Times in 21 Posts
Default

I tell them the truth! I got nothing to be ashamed of & who cares what people say & think. No one's perfect!
I LOVE & MISS MY LO!
__________________
"God will carry you through every storm and give you strength to make it."
  #6  
Old 04-14-2014, 09:12 PM
Red's Rida's Avatar
Red's Rida Red's Rida is offline
Love Me Some Him
 

Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Indiana US
Posts: 75
Thanks: 168
Thanked 52 Times in 37 Posts
Default Same Rules Apply

My mom & my BF have always been the only ones I share my private life with to begin with; so yes, they know everything
  #7  
Old 04-14-2014, 09:27 PM
Unknown. Unknown. is offline
Mrs.M
 

Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: California, USA
Posts: 87
Thanks: 9
Thanked 75 Times in 36 Posts
Default

I made the mistake of telling someone once and they did everything in their power to make him look like a bad guy. I no longer share my life with anyone
__________________
U.M.
You Are The Sun I Can Not Feel On My Skin And The Moon I Can Not See At Night, You Are Everything That Is Great In My Life
The Following User Says Thank You to Unknown. For This Useful Post:
charok1 (06-08-2014)
  #8  
Old 04-14-2014, 10:33 PM
MonicaM1026's Avatar
MonicaM1026 MonicaM1026 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Scranton, PA United States
Posts: 9
Thanks: 5
Thanked 7 Times in 3 Posts
Default

For me, it depends on who I'm talking to. Anyone who I'm very close to knows, and they know all the details of the situation too. Otherwise, I make the decision whether to tell someone and how much to tell based on the situation and how I feel the person will react. This isn't because I'm ashamed, because I'm definitely not, it's to protect my own emotional well being, because a lot of the time it takes all of my energy just to cope with the situation, and I don't want negativity, judgement or intolerance from people I barely know to make things harder.
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to MonicaM1026 For This Useful Post:
Darlin' (05-10-2014), JaycieDnTejas (05-18-2014), Wendy1918 (05-06-2014)
  #9  
Old 04-14-2014, 10:34 PM
mtbfan mtbfan is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California, USA
Posts: 364
Thanks: 10
Thanked 256 Times in 146 Posts
Default

All of our friends know about his charges, and they all stand by him. We have great friends. If there was anyone who would judge him or judge me for staying with him, I would not want to be friends anyways. This is how you weed out the bad people and hang on to the good ones. I am not ashamed at all. Everybody has something they are not proud of, so "they who sit in the glass house should not throw rocks".
  #10  
Old 04-15-2014, 08:04 AM
Sweetycakes's Avatar
Sweetycakes Sweetycakes is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Knoxville, TN, USA
Posts: 192
Thanks: 261
Thanked 123 Times in 104 Posts
Default

Monica1026 I TOTALLY agree with you! I'm the same way. My close friends and family know everything. But if I believe someone is going to judge me or him I will withold information because I know if they do I'm going to defend him and would probably hurt their feelings if they said something bad about him lol. Basically I tell people who are going to be supportive about it because I'm trying to support him and I don't need any negativity in my head. Like you said it's already a hard situation to deal with.
  #11  
Old 04-16-2014, 03:51 AM
maniacswifey619 maniacswifey619 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: san diego
Posts: 1,229
Thanks: 16
Thanked 737 Times in 441 Posts
Default

my opinion is that its nobody's bizness. I too made the mistake of telling someone about my love and was judged for it. So I no longer volunteer information.
  #12  
Old 04-16-2014, 08:42 PM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 633
Thanks: 601
Thanked 747 Times in 343 Posts
Default

My loved one is my son who commited a high profile crime for which he is paying a dear price. I work in a very conservative profession and no one at work has questioned me. Of course, our family is aware of what happened and the consequences but no one else.
  #13  
Old 04-24-2014, 12:59 PM
CornbreadFed's Avatar
CornbreadFed CornbreadFed is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: His Dreams, TX
Posts: 156
Thanks: 184
Thanked 69 Times in 38 Posts
Default

I have close friends and church members that are aware and some are in the same situation or know of someone in the same situation. My church group is very encouraging all the time and some go out of their way to make sure I'm ok. I haven't encountered anybody negative, although I've been choosey about who I tell and if they do have a negative opinion they probably didn't want to hurt me so they kept it to themselves.
My extended family is on a need-to-know basis, since I have a few that gossip about everything and add some commentary and start stuff.
__________________


Don't be afraid to feel as angry or as loving as you can, because when you feel nothing, it’s just death.
-Lena Horne
  #14  
Old 04-27-2014, 06:04 AM
Sunflow's Avatar
Sunflow Sunflow is offline
Registered User

Staff Superstar Winner Pumpkin Hunt Participant 2014 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Finland-Texas
Posts: 3,072
Thanks: 4,253
Thanked 4,571 Times in 1,813 Posts
Default

I tell people the truth, but there is one exception. I don't tell everyone at work, because that might have an affect on my job. At first it was hard for me to explain our relationship to people, especially when we live overseas and are MWI. We all know what kind of stigma there is regarding that. Then I realized that I don't have to explain. It's my life and my relationship, not theirs. I'm happier than I have ever been and love my husband with all my heart. Everyone close to me can see that, and those who don't get it, well, they wouldn't no matter how I explained it.
__________________



Que Fácil Es Amarte
Four years and I'm still wearing the smile you gave me




Check out our

Weekly Postcard Swap 2015

  #15  
Old 05-06-2014, 04:01 AM
Rommie's Avatar
Rommie Rommie is offline
No Regrets
 

Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California, usa
Posts: 568
Thanks: 291
Thanked 421 Times in 226 Posts
Default

If it were up to me I would tell the truth. My husband doesn't like people knowing HIS personal information. Family and CLOSE friends know, anyone else i tell them he is 'out of town taking care of some buisness' .... which he is technically.
__________________
  #16  
Old 05-06-2014, 04:05 PM
JAKLTS2798 JAKLTS2798 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 388
Thanks: 129
Thanked 307 Times in 174 Posts
Default

My immediate family knows and close friends know the truth.. His family too, and most of them have stood by him and us through this sentence.. I am not embarrassed or ashamed of my honey, but I do not want people to judge him based on their preconceived notions of prison and inmates.. At work, I have shared with my boss, but just little bits of information so she understands why I leave town every month and why my babe doesn't come to office events.. If someone (outside of my close circle) asks about him, I give vague answers, just enough to satisfy their need while squashing any gossip or rumors..
  #17  
Old 05-10-2014, 08:01 AM
4_U_2_Envie's Avatar
4_U_2_Envie 4_U_2_Envie is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bronx, NY
Posts: 947
Thanks: 1
Thanked 126 Times in 109 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PTO Liaison View Post
What do you tell people about your loved one's situation?
Do you tell your friends where they are or do you deliberately avoid mentioning their location?
Where do you say they live?

Let us know in this poll. Results will be published in our next edition of PTO Quarterly.
I don't really talk about my personal life cuz its nobody business but when it comes to asking if I'm married i say yes and if they ask where he is and they shouldn't he is.mu husband i tell them. People are judgemental anyways but i dont sugar coat anything.
  #18  
Old 06-15-2014, 02:00 AM
LifeTraveler's Avatar
LifeTraveler LifeTraveler is offline
Crazy Cajun Super Moderator

PTOQ Editorial Team Member PTO Super Moderator 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Louisiana, USA
Posts: 16,298
Thanks: 15,747
Thanked 17,177 Times in 6,850 Posts
Default

This poll is officially closed. Look for the results in the next newsletter!
__________________
Life Traveler
Super Moderator
LASO, Immigration, Drug & Alcohol Treatment & Rehab, Louisiana, Ohio











Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:33 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics