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PTO Quarterly Newsletter Discussion, submission and suggestions for PrisonTalk's Quarterly Newsletter.

View Poll Results: If asked, where do you say your loved one is?
I tell everyone the truth; that my loved one is incarcerated. 16 34.78%
I only tell my close friends and family about the incarceration. 21 45.65%
I don't tell anyone, anything. It's not their business 4 8.70%
I say they live in another state or city. 4 8.70%
I say they are in the military or overseas. 1 2.17%
Voters: 46. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-08-2014, 12:42 AM
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Default What do you tell your friends about your incarcerated loved one? (PTOQ)

What do you tell people about your loved one's situation?
Do you tell your friends where they are or do you deliberately avoid mentioning their location?
Where do you say they live?

Let us know in this poll. Results will be published in our next edition of PTO Quarterly.
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Rachel (04-08-2014)
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:39 AM
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I am a private person for the most part the less people in your business the better. My mom knows of my lo and talked to him on the phone as far as everyone else is concerned I am in a long distance relationship which isn't a lie he is states away
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
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Old 04-14-2014, 07:39 PM
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If anyone asks about my friends, I will tell them honestly.

I'm not ashamed of the people I care about. They are still human beings.
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Old 04-14-2014, 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Rachel View Post
If anyone asks about my friends, I will tell them honestly.

I'm not ashamed of the people I care about. They are still human beings.
I too am a teller of truth regardless of the consequence. Being in prison or loving someone who is incarcerated does not define a person. It does however define those who would judge such. I'm just sayin'
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Old 04-14-2014, 08:00 PM
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I tell them the truth! I got nothing to be ashamed of & who cares what people say & think. No one's perfect!
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Old 04-14-2014, 08:12 PM
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Default Same Rules Apply

My mom & my BF have always been the only ones I share my private life with to begin with; so yes, they know everything
Old 04-14-2014, 08:27 PM
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I made the mistake of telling someone once and they did everything in their power to make him look like a bad guy. I no longer share my life with anyone
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Old 04-14-2014, 09:33 PM
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For me, it depends on who I'm talking to. Anyone who I'm very close to knows, and they know all the details of the situation too. Otherwise, I make the decision whether to tell someone and how much to tell based on the situation and how I feel the person will react. This isn't because I'm ashamed, because I'm definitely not, it's to protect my own emotional well being, because a lot of the time it takes all of my energy just to cope with the situation, and I don't want negativity, judgement or intolerance from people I barely know to make things harder.
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Old 04-14-2014, 09:34 PM
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All of our friends know about his charges, and they all stand by him. We have great friends. If there was anyone who would judge him or judge me for staying with him, I would not want to be friends anyways. This is how you weed out the bad people and hang on to the good ones. I am not ashamed at all. Everybody has something they are not proud of, so "they who sit in the glass house should not throw rocks".
Old 04-15-2014, 07:04 AM
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Monica1026 I TOTALLY agree with you! I'm the same way. My close friends and family know everything. But if I believe someone is going to judge me or him I will withold information because I know if they do I'm going to defend him and would probably hurt their feelings if they said something bad about him lol. Basically I tell people who are going to be supportive about it because I'm trying to support him and I don't need any negativity in my head. Like you said it's already a hard situation to deal with.
Old 04-16-2014, 02:51 AM
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my opinion is that its nobody's bizness. I too made the mistake of telling someone about my love and was judged for it. So I no longer volunteer information.
Old 04-16-2014, 07:42 PM
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My loved one is my son who commited a high profile crime for which he is paying a dear price. I work in a very conservative profession and no one at work has questioned me. Of course, our family is aware of what happened and the consequences but no one else.
Old 04-24-2014, 11:59 AM
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I have close friends and church members that are aware and some are in the same situation or know of someone in the same situation. My church group is very encouraging all the time and some go out of their way to make sure I'm ok. I haven't encountered anybody negative, although I've been choosey about who I tell and if they do have a negative opinion they probably didn't want to hurt me so they kept it to themselves.
My extended family is on a need-to-know basis, since I have a few that gossip about everything and add some commentary and start stuff.

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Old 04-27-2014, 05:04 AM
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I tell people the truth, but there is one exception. I don't tell everyone at work, because that might have an affect on my job. At first it was hard for me to explain our relationship to people, especially when we live overseas and are MWI. We all know what kind of stigma there is regarding that. Then I realized that I don't have to explain. It's my life and my relationship, not theirs. I'm happier than I have ever been and love my husband with all my heart. Everyone close to me can see that, and those who don't get it, well, they wouldn't no matter how I explained it.

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Old 05-06-2014, 03:01 AM
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If it were up to me I would tell the truth. My husband doesn't like people knowing HIS personal information. Family and CLOSE friends know, anyone else i tell them he is 'out of town taking care of some buisness' .... which he is technically.
Old 05-06-2014, 03:05 PM
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My immediate family knows and close friends know the truth.. His family too, and most of them have stood by him and us through this sentence.. I am not embarrassed or ashamed of my honey, but I do not want people to judge him based on their preconceived notions of prison and inmates.. At work, I have shared with my boss, but just little bits of information so she understands why I leave town every month and why my babe doesn't come to office events.. If someone (outside of my close circle) asks about him, I give vague answers, just enough to satisfy their need while squashing any gossip or rumors..
Old 05-10-2014, 07:01 AM
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Originally Posted by PTO Liaison View Post
What do you tell people about your loved one's situation?
Do you tell your friends where they are or do you deliberately avoid mentioning their location?
Where do you say they live?

Let us know in this poll. Results will be published in our next edition of PTO Quarterly.
I don't really talk about my personal life cuz its nobody business but when it comes to asking if I'm married i say yes and if they ask where he is and they shouldn't he is.mu husband i tell them. People are judgemental anyways but i dont sugar coat anything.

Old 06-15-2014, 01:00 AM
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This poll is officially closed. Look for the results in the next newsletter!
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