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Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

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  #1  
Old 05-09-2012, 07:56 AM
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Unhappy Emotional week

Well I dnt know if its PMS or what! But I normally hold it together rather well, I work, keep busy with my 3yr old son, rolling down hills with him, teaching him how to steer his 4 wheeler, interacting with all the neighborhood kiddies who gather at my home to play with my son and his COLLIAGE of toys, while the entire time im passing out popsicles..BUT for some reason this week so far has been emtionally challenging. Im deeply in love with my man and not only is he a lifer but we're also MWI so im sure u can imagine whats on " my plate" with dealing with the judgemental opinions of others...i cant share my emotions with ANYONE in my circle b/c I found they TRULY believe Telana HAS LOST HER MUTHA****n MARBLES..SO im left to work througn all of this alone...Im truly grateful I stumbled across PTO, im not one who starts alot of threads but I definately read ALOT of them and they have gotten me thru the periodic "slumpy" weeks like these...i think I just need a b12 shot to find that fun-loving, happy-go-lucky, silly ass Tela I know so well! Idk. Just having day..hoping I can just type these shitty emotions away I guess anywho..just at work venting..in a few hours I havta pull it together and put my"cape" back on. Thanks for lending an ear.
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  #2  
Old 05-09-2012, 09:15 AM
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It will pass. I am having a emotional couple of months. I was in a relationship with a lifer, mwi but that is a long story. Take it one day at a time. I will put you on my prayer list.

Last edited by fedup2018; 05-09-2012 at 09:18 AM.. Reason: errors
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  #3  
Old 05-09-2012, 09:54 AM
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It will pass. I am having a emotional couple of months. I was in a relationship with a lifer, mwi but that is a long story. Take it one day at a time. I will put you on my prayer list.
Thank you for adding me to that list..WE ALL need as many prayers as possible..and u will be in mine as well...have u ever shared ur "long story" fed up?
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Old 05-09-2012, 11:18 AM
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I think we all go through these days... I'm a MWI and been with my husband for 9 years and from time to time get un easy.. But what I learned through out my years is that I just needed to add an extra layer of skin...

I'm the one that tell people my relationship in how we met before they can judge I let them know 'yeah I know, I'm crazy' and they leave it alone.

trust it will get better with time, atleast the part of MWI...

Have a great day!
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  #5  
Old 05-09-2012, 12:17 PM
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I think we all go through these days... I'm a MWI and been with my husband for 9 years and from time to time get un easy.. But what I learned through out my years is that I just needed to add an extra layer of skin...

I'm the one that tell people my relationship in how we met before they can judge I let them know 'yeah I know, I'm crazy' and they leave it alone.

trust it will get better with time, atleast the part of MWI...

Have a great day!
Awwww Thanks for the much needed REASSURANCE, and I believe I will try your approach with the "yeah I know im crazy" !!!! Lol! YES..beat em' to the daYuM punch..AND like ....yeeees moving rite along to the NEXT topic of discussion!!

#ThanksfortheSMILE
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  #6  
Old 05-10-2012, 10:19 PM
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I think emotions are definitely in the air, I'm losing my mind, my wallet and all my marbles.....it's almost comical how much of a mess I am.....almost.

I just keep reminding myself "this too shall pass" and I'll get a gust to lift my wings up and get back into flight.

Keep your head high bcuz u have no reason to feel less than!!! Ppl can be very cruel with the judgements and their legit concerns. I got to the point (like an above poster) that I would let ppl know "I already thought of that" when they'd bring up his absence, history, future, job prospects, other women, down low "prison shower" activities. I think the majority of ppl just don't realize that we hear the same thing over and over and over. What's that song...."I heard it all before...."
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Old 05-15-2012, 12:52 AM
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Tela, it's just another week. I often counter these bad emotions and the lack of support by thinking about how long we've come and how strong we are.

We are also MWI, he's a lifer, been down since '97. People think I went crazy but I simply shock them by showing how well I can pull it together. I often share with them that nothing justifies the fact that I chose to be with him but simply that we love each other and maybe, just maybe, I am crazy. Lol! And when I admit to their accusation, I simply astonish them. Regularly, my loved ones will talk about the possibility of him leaving me if he comes home but I look at that situation that it'll be his lost.

Many will ridicule you and test your sanity. You'll just have to let them do their thing so you can do your thing. In the end, this is about you, not them. When you feel down, come to PTO and we'll have a rant. The community here is great and realistic. More importantly, we're all striding the same miles so we'll understand.

Take-care, blessed be.
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaRaeBlue
I think emotions are definitely in the air, I'm losing my mind, my wallet and all my marbles.....it's almost comical how much of a mess I am.....almost.

I just keep reminding myself "this too shall pass" and I'll get a gust to lift my wings up and get back into flight.

Keep your head high bcuz u have no reason to feel less than!!! Ppl can be very cruel with the judgements and their legit concerns. I got to the point (like an above poster) that I would let ppl know "I already thought of that" when they'd bring up his absence, history, future, job prospects, other women, down low "prison shower" activities. I think the majority of ppl just don't realize that we hear the same thing over and over and over. What's that song...."I heard it all before...."
Love your post ! Make me feel 100 dif emotions in every one
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  #9  
Old 05-15-2012, 03:56 AM
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Haaa,reminded me of when I was younger and rolled down a hill,stood up and all I could hear was the rattles on a lot of angry rattlesnakes.
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Old 05-15-2012, 06:32 AM
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Originally Posted by yubnag View Post
Tela, it's just another week. I often counter these bad emotions and the lack of support by thinking about how long we've come and how strong we are.

We are also MWI, he's a lifer, been down since '97. People think I went crazy but I simply shock them by showing how well I can pull it together. I often share with them that nothing justifies the fact that I chose to be with him but simply that we love each other and maybe, just maybe, I am crazy. Lol! And when I admit to their accusation, I simply astonish them. Regularly, my loved ones will talk about the possibility of him leaving me if he comes home but I look at that situation that it'll be his lost.

Many will ridicule you and test your sanity. You'll just have to let them do their thing so you can do your thing. In the end, this is about you, not them. When you feel down, come to PTO and we'll have a rant. The community here is great and realistic. More importantly, we're all striding the same miles so we'll understand.
H
Take-care, blessed be.

Thank you yubnag for the encouraging words and support I definately try to keep things in perspective b/c if I didnt the different opinions of family and friends WOULD HAVE ME IN A STRAIT JACKET! Smh..i just put our relationship in Gods hands and stay in my prayer closet and tune into HIM...and TUNE OUT the nonsense ive found myself surrounded by since dilvulging my relationship to others...
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  #11  
Old 05-15-2012, 06:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Sheryl P. View Post
Haaa,reminded me of when I was younger and rolled down a hill,stood up and all I could hear was the rattles on a lot of angry rattlesnakes.
Lol!! Oh my! Now THAT wuda freaked me completly the hell out! Snakes?... Oh NO!
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Old 05-15-2012, 06:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaRaeBlue View Post
I think emotions are definitely in the air, I'm losing my mind, my wallet and all my marbles.....it's almost comical how much of a mess I am.....almost.

I just keep reminding myself "this too shall pass" and I'll get a gust to lift my wings up and get back into flight.

Keep your head high bcuz u have no reason to feel less than!!! Ppl can be very cruel with the judgements and their legit concerns. I got to the point (like an above poster) that I would let ppl know "I already thought of that" when they'd bring up his absence, history, future, job prospects, other women, down low "prison shower" activities. I think the majority of ppl just don't realize that we hear the same thing over and over and over. What's that song...."I heard it all before...."
Exactamundo!! THIS TO SHALL PASS..and how right u are Rae folk act as if im a 11yr old child and did not step back and analyze, meditate & SIMPLY think how NOT ONLY this relationship will affect different areas in my life BUT also how it would bring out sporatic out of character behavior of family and friends AND how I would be subject to UBER-JUDGEMENTAL opinions and RIDICULE...UMMMMM...yeah ...trust me ..i thought of ALL of that prior to going into this relationship with my eyes WIDE OPEN! I tell u sum ppl! But I just keep them in my prayers and keep it moving...Lucky for them its MY relationship and
NOT theirs.








UT ALSO how it would bring on the s
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Old 05-15-2012, 09:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Tela View Post
Thank you yubnag for the encouraging words and support I definately try to keep things in perspective b/c if I didnt the different opinions of family and friends WOULD HAVE ME IN A STRAIT JACKET! Smh..i just put our relationship in Gods hands and stay in my prayer closet and tune into HIM...and TUNE OUT the nonsense ive found myself surrounded by since dilvulging my relationship to others...
Girl, you have no idea how wonderful the works the Lord has done for my relationship. Each time we're put down, the Lord comes through with more affirmation!

We suffered a loss last summer and it was hard to do without the leisure we had. I seriously contemplated calling it quits. However, we held threw and I went to visit him for the first last September. I was in horrible shape. I had Bell's Palsy, where the right side of my face had temporary paralysis; and he first saw me with this paralysis. I could've promised we'd be doom 'cause I felt that I was completely unattractive! LOL! But after the visit, things got better, he became more attached! This is the work of the Lord.

On that following Monday, he got transferred to the valley where he is only an hour drive away! I was shocked and thrilled! We didn't expect him to be transferred so close to home!

In April, my own bible study group downcast my relationship and said that relationship have worked out so far 'cause it may be temptation by the devil. That completely derailed me! I couldn't believe that my own Christians peers would say such a thing about my relationship! So that weekend I went to visit and I saw a full rainbow! To me, that was a sign from God, peace. I knew it then that I had nothing to worry about!

Just leave it all up to Him, He'll take care of everything!
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  #14  
Old 05-15-2012, 10:45 AM
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Girl, you have no idea how wonderful the works the Lord has done for my relationship. Each time we're put down, the Lord comes through with more affirmation!

We suffered a loss last summer and it was hard to do without the leisure we had. I seriously contemplated calling it quits. However, we held threw and I went to visit him for the first last September. I was in horrible shape. I had Bell's Palsy, where the right side of my face had temporary paralysis; and he first saw me with this paralysis. I could've promised we'd be doom 'cause I felt that I was completely unattractive! LOL! But after the visit, things got better, he became more attached! This is the work of the Lord.

On that following Monday, he got transferred to the valley where he is only an hour drive away! I was shocked and thrilled! We didn't expect him to be transferred so close to home!

In April, my own bible study group downcast my relationship and said that relationship have worked out so far 'cause it may be temptation by the devil. That completely derailed me! I couldn't believe that my own Christians peers would say such a thing about my relationship! So that weekend I went to visit and I saw a full rainbow! To me, that was a sign from God, peace. I knew it then that I had nothing to worry about!


Just leave it all up to Him, He'll take care of everything!
Amen! Hey..if its in HIS will ==>> Thy will be done! Most folk have a carnal way of thinking so for that reason I implement an abundance of patience! They dont know any better.
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  #15  
Old 05-23-2012, 01:15 PM
SexyChef1 SexyChef1 is offline
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I think its this month my son is on house arrest never been in trouble a minute in his life. I dropped my cell in the toilet and the insurance is refusing to pay. My laptop is corrupted and typing on the kindle is pointless! soooo I believe its something goin on in the air this month hope next month is better.
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