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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

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  #1  
Old 04-15-2012, 07:47 PM
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jr214wifey jr214wifey is offline
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Default I feel so alone :(

I guess it's jus one of those day well weekends actually where i feel like tha weight of tha world is resting on my shoulders && everythings abt to come tumbling down.. I have 3 kids ages 9, 3 1/2, && 1 1/2. My 2 youngest r from my hubby who's locked up. Raising them solo has to b tha hardest thing ive ever had to go thru. I can't even tell u how many days I feel like jus giving up but I kno I have to continue doin my thang becuz I'm all they have. Literally!!! Their dad ain't here, his fam cld give two shits abt him much less our kids (their grand kids ). My mom does do for us but always plays that card " I do alot for u && ur kids" so I hardly like to ask her for help cuz eventually it will get thrown in my face n more then like I'll get a shitty yes or jus a straight out no. Its jus soo stressfull raising them alone n then to feel like I have no one to turn to for help when I've reached my breaking point. I never have a moment of peace. No "me" time what so ever. My kids r Sooo frkn attached to me it's ridiculous. I can't use Tha bathroom in peace lol! & if this isn't enuff Tha added stress of my hubby being in prison puts tha icing on tha cake. He's coming up for parole in a few months n between wrk, school, daycare, I still haven't finished my support letter. I sumtimes feel like writing him n jus tellling his ass how much I resent him for leaving us out here in this position. I cld probly fill up several sheets of paper with all tha emotions I have built up but he alrdy knows. I've told him lots of times how hard this shit is. I've jus never RLLY let him have it cuz in tha end it ain't gon change my position all it will do is add more stress on him n who knows how he'll take it out. I probly cld go on n on here for hrs but I jus had to let it out to some one so if u read this far thnks for taking ur time to listen. Ne one else goin thru this is welcome to share their experience or ne thoughts or comments r appreciated too. Ughh now back to check on these baybay kids before they burn my house down lol! Ya have a blessed Sunday!
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  #2  
Old 04-17-2012, 03:15 PM
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Danielswifey1 Danielswifey1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jr214wifey
I guess it's jus one of those day well weekends actually where i feel like tha weight of tha world is resting on my shoulders && everythings abt to come tumbling down.. I have 3 kids ages 9, 3 1/2, && 1 1/2. My 2 youngest r from my hubby who's locked up. Raising them solo has to b tha hardest thing ive ever had to go thru. I can't even tell u how many days I feel like jus giving up but I kno I have to continue doin my thang becuz I'm all they have. Literally!!! Their dad ain't here, his fam cld give two shits abt him much less our kids (their grand kids ). My mom does do for us but always plays that card " I do alot for u && ur kids" so I hardly like to ask her for help cuz eventually it will get thrown in my face n more then like I'll get a shitty yes or jus a straight out no. Its jus soo stressfull raising them alone n then to feel like I have no one to turn to for help when I've reached my breaking point. I never have a moment of peace. No "me" time what so ever. My kids r Sooo frkn attached to me it's ridiculous. I can't use Tha bathroom in peace lol! & if this isn't enuff Tha added stress of my hubby being in prison puts tha icing on tha cake. He's coming up for parole in a few months n between wrk, school, daycare, I still haven't finished my support letter. I sumtimes feel like writing him n jus tellling his ass how much I resent him for leaving us out here in this position. I cld probly fill up several sheets of paper with all tha emotions I have built up but he alrdy knows. I've told him lots of times how hard this shit is. I've jus never RLLY let him have it cuz in tha end it ain't gon change my position all it will do is add more stress on him n who knows how he'll take it out. I probly cld go on n on here for hrs but I jus had to let it out to some one so if u read this far thnks for taking ur time to listen. Ne one else goin thru this is welcome to share their experience or ne thoughts or comments r appreciated too. Ughh now back to check on these baybay kids before they burn my house down lol! Ya have a blessed Sunday!
Omg girl this is me........ I truly felt like I was reading a page of my very own life... I have said, felt, fought & gone insane with all the different emotions... My husband got locked up the day after our youngests 7th birthday... So he is going on 3 long yrs of being locked up.... It's hard having no one to have ur back on those days when u wonder "am I ever gonna make it". His family is the same even as u described ur mans to b... Although they r there for their other grandkids.... It hurts ;~)) If it wasn't for my older kids help at times I would have done lost it.... I will definetly keep u and ur family in my thoughts and if u ever need to talk I am here.... Prison talk yay LOL.... Keep ur head up and pushing forward....
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Old 04-17-2012, 03:25 PM
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Take a deep breath and relax as much as you can. Raising kids on your own is never easy to begin with then you add on all the stress of being in a relationship with an inmate amongst other factors that just make life seem so hard. Remember though with all that you go through it makes you that much stronger. And if u ever want to talk about anything you can pm me. I am here for you and understand how ur feeling
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Old 04-17-2012, 05:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Danielswifey1 View Post
Omg girl this is me........ I truly felt like I was reading a page of my very own life... I have said, felt, fought & gone insane with all the different emotions... My husband got locked up the day after our youngests 7th birthday... So he is going on 3 long yrs of being locked up.... It's hard having no one to have ur back on those days when u wonder "am I ever gonna make it". His family is the same even as u described ur mans to b... Although they r there for their other grandkids.... It hurts ;~)) If it wasn't for my older kids help at times I would have done lost it.... I will definetly keep u and ur family in my thoughts and if u ever need to talk I am here.... Prison talk yay LOL.... Keep ur head up and pushing forward....

awww thanx for sharing! I was beginning to think I was tha only one goin thru this but happy to kno I have some to relate too Omg yes its a very sensitive subject for me knowing that my kids dnt have their dads side of tha family in their lives. And jus like urs they do for their other grandkids, hell they have majority of them living with them . I do try to stay in touch with them but its useless. Ur lucky to have ur older kids help! Even tho its not much Im sure it helps! Thank u for thinkin abt my fam & I will def keep u guys in my thoughts & prayers as well! LOL prison talk can keep ur mind off of other things so im down whenever u need someone to listen!
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Old 04-17-2012, 05:22 PM
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Originally Posted by whitehill81 View Post
Take a deep breath and relax as much as you can. Raising kids on your own is never easy to begin with then you add on all the stress of being in a relationship with an inmate amongst other factors that just make life seem so hard. Remember though with all that you go through it makes you that much stronger. And if u ever want to talk about anything you can pm me. I am here for you and understand how ur feeling

EXACTLY!! Its all a big ball of stress & emotions mixed in one! But ur right it only makes us stronger & this is tha kind of example I wna set for my kids, to b strong & independent no matter what life throws at u. God will get us thru it! Thank u soooo much & I will b takin u up on ur offer!
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Old 04-18-2012, 11:03 AM
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I guess I've finally came to the point in life that I've just said Hell with it ya know if they don't care more for my kids then my kids don't need them.... It's the grandparents loss!!!!!! I would love a little support physically & mentally though... And yes having my older kids has been a blessing although my oldest has served 18 mo in Iraq came back then got shipped to Afghanastan but by the grace of GOD after another very hard and stressful year he is home now ;~)) I have one more week with him before he has to go back to his home base in new York ;~(( My one and only daughter is great even when her and I are butting heads LOL and my other one is leaving for basic the last of may ;~(( I am gonna lose it then.... We have really worked hard to get here where he's at in the last two yrs with the two yrs before that being majorly bad.... I'll b left all alone with my husband and my two little boys!!!!!! And I'd b lieing if I didn't admit I'm a little scared..... In times like this families should step up and pull together.... Its rough... Kids shouldn't have to worry about their parents it makes me mad at him for putting our kids in this position ya know for his bad decisions while in the process trying to teach our kids right from wrong!!!!! But I know we will make it.... Positive thinking ;~))
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Old 04-24-2012, 10:49 AM
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WOW! It sounds like you've done a great job at raising ur kids! U should b very proud of them as well as urself! I feel tha same way abt being mad at him for putting his children in this position when we are trying to teach them right from wrng. I pray that this doesnt affect my childrens behavior in tha long run & only time can tell what there futurE holds for us all! Good luck to u && ur fam!
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Old 05-02-2012, 11:00 AM
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Hey girl how's things going??? Hoping those days are better for u.... I'm having some of those bad days ;~(( my oldest son has gone back to his base in NY & my other one is leaving for basic in a 2 weeks and my incarcerated husband and I have been fussing for a few days.... He feels like I should b home and settled in by time he calls right before they lock down.... Which I usually am bur u know sometimes things do come up and I'm not... I can't figure out why he can't understand.... The other day my friend was at the hospital with her mom on life support so I was not home by that phone call I think he should of been ok by that.... Just a little bit of understanding!!!!! But that was my vent for the day hope things r going great for u and yours :~))
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Old 05-02-2012, 03:17 PM
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Thank God things have been goin good for me lately. Ive had a few breaks from my kids lately && was able to make 2 back to back visits wit tha hubby which we both rlly needed. So I've actually been on cloud 9 for like 2wks now lol. Sorry to hear abt ur rough patch! Sounds like u got alot on ur plate right now but ur a strong women && it'll all work out. Try n relax take a breather. I completley agree wit u he shld b more understanding.&& He shouldnt demand that ur life revove around his phone calls! ughhh girl dnt get me started! && plz feel free to vent ne time! We all go thru it! hope things get better!
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Old 05-18-2012, 12:10 PM
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I know exactly how u feel!! My hubby used to get mad too and what I've been soon is forwarding my house phone to my cell even tho I know I shouldn't but at least I kno when he's calling...
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