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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 04-26-2012, 04:31 PM
bnbjea bnbjea is offline
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Default Upset at him

I am so upset at my fiance. He's serving a 2 year sentence suspended on good behavior after 11 29. Well, now he's facing a NEW charge of "Introduction of Contraband". Because of the reasons I feel "bad" for being so mad but I'm SO pi$$ed at the fact that he is putting me through this. We have our child due in 8 weeks. He's already going to be missing the first 6 months and NOW I don't know WHEN he's coming home!! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOO aggravated! I have been sick over this because I don't know what's going to happen. I'm out of work due to the pregnancy...his mom is struggling too because of what it's costing already him being away. So getting a lawyer is a must but almost impossible. I'm just so mad at him and want to scream at him and tell him JUST what I think. I'm so upset about the whole situation to begin with and now I have stress over this. I feel bad for him too because he's stressing over it and he's worried. Sorry ladies I just needed to vent. Has anyone else had to deal with this?!?!
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  #2  
Old 04-26-2012, 04:50 PM
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InmateLover67 InmateLover67 is offline
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Originally Posted by bnbjea View Post
I am so upset at my fiance. He's serving a 2 year sentence suspended on good behavior after 11 29. Well, now he's facing a NEW charge of "Introduction of Contraband". Because of the reasons I feel "bad" for being so mad but I'm SO pi$$ed at the fact that he is putting me through this. We have our child due in 8 weeks. He's already going to be missing the first 6 months and NOW I don't know WHEN he's coming home!! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOO aggravated! I have been sick over this because I don't know what's going to happen. I'm out of work due to the pregnancy...his mom is struggling too because of what it's costing already him being away. So getting a lawyer is a must but almost impossible. I'm just so mad at him and want to scream at him and tell him JUST what I think. I'm so upset about the whole situation to begin with and now I have stress over this. I feel bad for him too because he's stressing over it and he's worried. Sorry ladies I just needed to vent. Has anyone else had to deal with this?!?!
I don't mean to sound rude, but he did not think about you or his new child, when he brought contraband into the institution. It does not sound like he is making his time worth-while, but rather trying to get away with shit that is going to lenghten his sentence. Sad indeed!

You have a right to be pissed at him, and you should talk to him about how this makes you feel. If I were you, I would hold him accountable for his actions and let him find his own attorney. I am not sure why you feel sorry for him when HE is the one that chose to violate policy. He made his bed, now he should lay in it. He should NOT have you bailing him out, because he will not learn anything from this incident.

I am sorry he is being selfish and not thinking of you or his new baby. I hope you really take this seriously and decide if you want to be with someone that cannot keep his shit straight while serving time. How is he going to do "life" when he is out? Is he going to do whatever he wants, when he wants?

I wish you the very best and congratulations on your new addition

Peace~
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  #3  
Old 04-26-2012, 05:06 PM
bnbjea bnbjea is offline
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I don't mean to sound rude, but he did not think about you or his new child, when he brought contraband into the institution. It does not sound like he is making his time worth-while, but rather trying to get away with shit that is going to lenghten his sentence. Sad indeed!

You have a right to be pissed at him, and you should talk to him about how this makes you feel. If I were you, I would hold him accountable for his actions and let him find his own attorney. I am not sure why you feel sorry for him when HE is the one that chose to violate policy. He made his bed, now he should lay in it. He should NOT have you bailing him out, because he will not learn anything from this incident.

I am sorry he is being selfish and not thinking of you or his new baby. I hope you really take this seriously and decide if you want to be with someone that cannot keep his shit straight while serving time. How is he going to do "life" when he is out? Is he going to do whatever he wants, when he wants?

I wish you the very best and congratulations on your new addition

Peace~

There's a lot to the story on why things happened. But that doesn't mean I'm not pissed at him because he had never once told me what was going on so I could give GOOD advice VS doing what he done. Someone that SHOULD be WANTING him out had play in the whole thing so I'm SO pissed at that person too. This person has proof of somethings that will be brought to a lawyers attention. I agree I don't think he was thinking of me or his child. I am going to tell him what I think and how I feel but I'm going to wait until I'm a little more calm about it so I can actually say everything I want to say. He knows he has screwed up. But he is being selfish making this about him by making stupid decisions no matter the case and not thinking of how it's effecting me and his daughter. I'm just so aggravated. I love him with all of my heart and I can't imagine life without him but I will NOT put up with ANYTHING else. I will make that known to him. Anything else to get in trouble is a deal breaker. I'm not spending my life waiting on him to get out of jail because he can't make the BEST choices. To do something stupid while inside pisses me off beyond measures. He was told originally that he wasn't going to be charged then a week later someone comes and tells him he will be....this all happened a month ago today.
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Old 04-26-2012, 05:17 PM
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Yes, I think you should tell him exactly how you feel and the impact of his actions on you and everyone else that has been there for him. You have every right to be upset with him. And as much as I realize it will be hard on you to let him have to deal with the consequences himself, that would actually be in his best interest as well as your own. He needs to figure out his priorities. I'm sure when he committed his new offense, he didn't expect to get caught and didn't consider the consequences but that is the point, he didn't think. You now need to get it through to him that he needs to think in the future of the consequences if he expects you to be there. As someone who has been married for over 20 years to a man who has a problem considering the outcome of his actions, my thoughts are with you.
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Old 04-26-2012, 05:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bnbjea View Post
I am so upset at my fiance. He's serving a 2 year sentence suspended on good behavior after 11 29. Well, now he's facing a NEW charge of "Introduction of Contraband". Because of the reasons I feel "bad" for being so mad but I'm SO pi$$ed at the fact that he is putting me through this. We have our child due in 8 weeks. He's already going to be missing the first 6 months and NOW I don't know WHEN he's coming home!! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOO aggravated! I have been sick over this because I don't know what's going to happen. I'm out of work due to the pregnancy...his mom is struggling too because of what it's costing already him being away. So getting a lawyer is a must but almost impossible. I'm just so mad at him and want to scream at him and tell him JUST what I think. I'm so upset about the whole situation to begin with and now I have stress over this. I feel bad for him too because he's stressing over it and he's worried. Sorry ladies I just needed to vent. Has anyone else had to deal with this?!?!
Well babe he's thinking of you but made a careless mistake it happens be mad but remember you have that baby, So please don't stress pray on it let him know how you feel , But mark my word he knows right bout now how you feeling I hope it all works out or you huni Keep your head up it gets better
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Old 04-26-2012, 05:31 PM
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Yes, I think you should tell him exactly how you feel and the impact of his actions on you and everyone else that has been there for him. You have every right to be upset with him. And as much as I realize it will be hard on you to let him have to deal with the consequences himself, that would actually be in his best interest as well as your own. He needs to figure out his priorities. I'm sure when he committed his new offense, he didn't expect to get caught and didn't consider the consequences but that is the point, he didn't think. You now need to get it through to him that he needs to think in the future of the consequences if he expects you to be there. As someone who has been married for over 20 years to a man who has a problem considering the outcome of his actions, my thoughts are with you.
I will discuss with him how it has effected me. I have protected him by not discussing somethings with him so I don't upset him but I am not letting this one go unnoticed. He will know how I feel. In a loving way because I want to be calm but he will know that he BETTER start thinking before acting. I don't want to try to justify his actions but I know he did feel like he done what he needed to do at the time just he didn't realize what could happen if he was caught. That's where I guess my feelings of guilt come in because I have NO idea what it's like behind them bars because I have never had to deal with it. I have heard horror stories from people that have husbands that work as COs of things that go on inside them jails/prisons. It's a sad condition that our LO's are in.
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Old 04-26-2012, 05:37 PM
bnbjea bnbjea is offline
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Well babe he's thinking of you but made a careless mistake it happens be mad but remember you have that baby, So please don't stress pray on it let him know how you feel , But mark my word he knows right bout now how you feeling I hope it all works out or you huni Keep your head up it gets better
Thank you so much for your encouraging words! That means a lot!! I feel that God is the only person that can be in control of this to make the best outcome for the 3 of us. I am going to let him know how I feel. I just want to make sure I don't come off as unloving or making him feel like he's a liar for the reasons he done it. Like I said in the post above. I do believe he was doing what he felt like he needed to do, just didn't think of what could happen if caught. He does know he messed up. I appreciate your post.
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Old 04-26-2012, 05:51 PM
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Tell him how disappointed you are in the decisions hes made and that he really let you down when you were counting on him the most. Tell him you love him but this has got to stop especially for the sake of that precious baby!! Does he have any ultrasound pics or pics of your belly? If not send him one and tell him when he gets angry or wants to do something that'll cost him more time to look at that picture and think about your baby first. That's what my LO does. He caries a pick of our boy in his pocket to remind him at all times to be good. Hang in there sweetie. He'll be home eventually and you can tear him a new one then! Lol (:* hugs *
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Old 04-26-2012, 06:45 PM
bnbjea bnbjea is offline
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Tell him how disappointed you are in the decisions hes made and that he really let you down when you were counting on him the most. Tell him you love him but this has got to stop especially for the sake of that precious baby!! Does he have any ultrasound pics or pics of your belly? If not send him one and tell him when he gets angry or wants to do something that'll cost him more time to look at that picture and think about your baby first. That's what my LO does. He caries a pick of our boy in his pocket to remind him at all times to be good. Hang in there sweetie. He'll be home eventually and you can tear him a new one then! Lol (:* hugs *

Thanks girl! I will be sure to tell him that. It's all true. I have sent him ultrasound pics. We haven't gotten any updated ones since the ultrasound to say "IT'S A GIRL" lol...but I did recently start sending him belly shots so he can see...I did go back to when I was 14 weeks to now. He said it made him cry some because he wishes he could be out here so bad experiencing it all with me. I'm his weakness and I'm one that can get through to him when no one can't usually so I know I NEED to say something to him. I just seen his picture on our county jail website because they took him over there today to book him on his charge and he looks like he is going to bust into tears. It makes my heart hurt so bad seeing him back on that page....his booking charge says "Contraband in Penal Institutions". It makes me so sad seeing that. :'-(. And yes when he does come home he's going to get that. I done told him I have a list started for everything he'll get an ass whoopin over from me lol.
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Old 04-26-2012, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted by bnbjea View Post
There's a lot to the story on why things happened. But that doesn't mean I'm not pissed at him because he had never once told me what was going on so I could give GOOD advice VS doing what he done. Someone that SHOULD be WANTING him out had play in the whole thing so I'm SO pissed at that person too. This person has proof of somethings that will be brought to a lawyers attention. I agree I don't think he was thinking of me or his child. I am going to tell him what I think and how I feel but I'm going to wait until I'm a little more calm about it so I can actually say everything I want to say. He knows he has screwed up. But he is being selfish making this about him by making stupid decisions no matter the case and not thinking of how it's effecting me and his daughter. I'm just so aggravated. I love him with all of my heart and I can't imagine life without him but I will NOT put up with ANYTHING else. I will make that known to him. Anything else to get in trouble is a deal breaker. I'm not spending my life waiting on him to get out of jail because he can't make the BEST choices. To do something stupid while inside pisses me off beyond measures. He was told originally that he wasn't going to be charged then a week later someone comes and tells him he will be....this all happened a month ago today.
You go girl... I agree with you. I would feel exactly the same as you. I hope this all works out for you.
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Old 04-26-2012, 06:58 PM
bnbjea bnbjea is offline
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You go girl... I agree with you. I would feel exactly the same as you. I hope this all works out for you.

Thank you!!
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