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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

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  #1  
Old 04-15-2012, 01:39 PM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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Default Not fair!!!

Some days I just want to kick and scream that it's NOT FAIR!!!! I'm going through some really horrible, horrible stuff right now with my divorce and literally the ONLY person in the entire world that I can depend on is my man who is IN PRISON!!!! REALLY??? I've lost almost all of my so-called friends over my man being locked up. I have one male friend left -- the only one who doesn't want to sleep with me and who thinks of me like his little sister (supposedly) and I asked if he would be there with me when I confront my husband about some things regarding our business ask him to leave the house. I just want someone there for my safety and as a witness. He said his personality is such that it would make it worse. WTF??? Somehow I think if I was actually his blood sister he would do it. Jerk. So there goes my last "good friend".

Having my man on my side 100% is great and all that but when I really, really need him here physically I can't have him. I'm not angry at him just the situation. I feel completely alone and scared. And I know he's really worried about me and feels helpless. I gave him one of my son's phone numbers just in case something happens to me so he could find out. This sucks so much. I guess I just needed to vent to ladies that would understand.
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Old 04-15-2012, 02:20 PM
Rachel C Rachel C is offline
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Never Dull I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND!!! I've lost ALOT of friends and people look at me like I'm crazy for being with my guy. I've even had it thrown in my face that I'm unstable b.c I'm in love with a prisoner. I just have to weigh the pros and cons, and realize the friends that I lost aren't worth it if they bail on me when I really need them. People are always going to judge and not understand our situation and I have to accept that or it will drive me crazy!!! I'm also going through a divorce. I feel ya I really do...if you want to pm feel free I'm here for ya!
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  #3  
Old 04-15-2012, 02:21 PM
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jn.july27th jn.july27th is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeverDull
Some days I just want to kick and scream that it's NOT FAIR!!!! I'm going through some really horrible, horrible stuff right now with my divorce and literally the ONLY person in the entire world that I can depend on is my man who is IN PRISON!!!! REALLY??? I've lost almost all of my so-called friends over my man being locked up. I have one male friend left -- the only one who doesn't want to sleep with me and who thinks of me like his little sister (supposedly) and I asked if he would be there with me when I confront my husband about some things regarding our business ask him to leave the house. I just want someone there for my safety and as a witness. He said his personality is such that it would make it worse. WTF??? Somehow I think if I was actually his blood sister he would do it. Jerk. So there goes my last "good friend".

Having my man on my side 100% is great and all that but when I really, really need him here physically I can't have him. I'm not angry at him just the situation. I feel completely alone and scared. And I know he's really worried about me and feels helpless. I gave him one of my son's phone numbers just in case something happens to me so he could find out. This sucks so much. I guess I just needed to vent to ladies that would understand.
I completely understand! In goin thru sum bad thngs also read my thread'so hurt' i need my man so bad rite nw this is all so hard im so thankful i hve my man im jus ready for him to get hme so i can b safe! If u need anythng PLEASE message me i kno what ur goin thru!

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  #4  
Old 04-15-2012, 06:26 PM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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Never Dull I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND!!! I've lost ALOT of friends and people look at me like I'm crazy for being with my guy. I've even had it thrown in my face that I'm unstable b.c I'm in love with a prisoner. I just have to weigh the pros and cons, and realize the friends that I lost aren't worth it if they bail on me when I really need them. People are always going to judge and not understand our situation and I have to accept that or it will drive me crazy!!! I'm also going through a divorce. I feel ya I really do...if you want to pm feel free I'm here for ya!
This is the third time I've lost all my friends. It's crazy how you think people will be there for you and they aren't. Both other times was when my son had cancer (twice). At least then there were strangers who stepped up to the plate and helped us when we needed it and befriended us. But now I just have PTO...not that I'm not grateful for PTO, trust me I AM, but there's nothing like having a friend to go out to dinner with or hang out with and talk for hours, you know? I just don't understand because I'm always the first person to run out and drop things for other people...the only other person I know like that is my man. Ugh.

I'll send you a PM and we can chat about divorce stuff. It's crazy.
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Old 04-15-2012, 06:28 PM
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Originally Posted by jn.july27th View Post
I completely understand! In goin thru sum bad thngs also read my thread'so hurt' i need my man so bad rite nw this is all so hard im so thankful i hve my man im jus ready for him to get hme so i can b safe! If u need anythng PLEASE message me i kno what ur goin thru!

Sent from my Motorola Electrify using PrisonTalk <3 baby its u& me against the world <3
Hey sweetie...thanks for your message. I responded to your thread. Please take care of yourself. Reporting to the police will help you stay safe and also will help with all your divorce stuff too. Definitely feel free to PM if you need to chat. Sounds like we are going through a lot of the same stuff.
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Old 04-15-2012, 06:42 PM
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Hey sweetie...thanks for your message. I responded to your thread. Please take care of yourself. Reporting to the police will help you stay safe and also will help with all your divorce stuff too. Definitely feel free to PM if you need to chat. Sounds like we are going through a lot of the same stuff.
Thank u so very much it means so much to me! I am so hurt by what happened im completely sick ovr it! Ill b so very glad once my boyfriend is hme so i can feel safe again an nt hve to worry about ths happening again! Thank u for responding u also can pm me anytime mayb we can help each other thru all these hard times were goin thru its nt easy doin it alone!

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Old 04-15-2012, 06:46 PM
ciaobella22 ciaobella22 is offline
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I can relate.. I too, have lost some friends over my man being locked up. Some of it was by my choice.. I am focused on my man and our future so all the extra non sense i don't need. It sucks when the only person u want, need, and confide in, can't be there with u especially in situations such as your own. Hang in there babe.. Everything will work out.. Leave it in God's hands! As long as he is with u, u will be ok!

Last edited by ciaobella22; 04-15-2012 at 06:48 PM..
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Old 04-15-2012, 06:57 PM
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I hope that you will not go alone to confront him! Take someone with you, maybe a cop or someone! He might be just fine with everything but apparently, you have questions or you would not ask someone to be there for you! You are my friend and I am concerned for you. I know that you are a strong, determined lady. I don't doubt that at all. Just be careful and most of all be smart! God Bless!
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Old 04-15-2012, 07:28 PM
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Klewis Klewis is offline
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Yep I have lost friends too once they find out I wouldn't care if my man was in the grave I am not going to sleep with them. Right now I am screaming so loud because I need my Fiance' home so he can lead my son. I feel alone, my son feels alone, our daughter feels alone and she just went wild looking for something to fill that void. Who has my back when I need money, time to vent and reassurance. Who can I pick up the phone and call. Yes I have my mom God bless her but why do I feel so hopeless. Why do I feel like even in this relationship I am not getting all I need. Why should prison make me stay. Not saying I am not but this is what goes through my head sometimes as I am screaming out so loud. Why do I have to be Daddy and Mommy. Why do I have to keep everyone uplifted and when the tears is at the tips of my eyes do I have to blink just to keep them in. When did I get to hard to cry. Sorry everyone its just one of them days.
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:58 PM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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Originally Posted by ciaobella22 View Post
I can relate.. I too, have lost some friends over my man being locked up. Some of it was by my choice.. I am focused on my man and our future so all the extra non sense i don't need. It sucks when the only person u want, need, and confide in, can't be there with u especially in situations such as your own. Hang in there babe.. Everything will work out.. Leave it in God's hands! As long as he is with u, u will be ok!
Last night when we were talking he said "what about so-and-so?" and I said nope...none of the people we played racquetball with I would really consider friends anymore. I might play with them sometimes and they might ask about my man and how is he doing, tell him they said hi...but then they make comments that hurt. Now my guy is a smart cookie and he NEVER lets anything slide so he says "Wait a minute....WHAT did they say?" this is as the phone is beeping on our last minute (of course) and I said "When I told so-and-so you were moving to Cali he said 'oh I guess good old Bubba is gonna miss him, ha?" he's always making prison sex jokes and it pisses me off to NO end!! My guy said "He's just trying to be funny...don't take it serious". Well, obviously I realize that but even after I asked him to stop he keeps doing it over and over and over. I told him one time "if your brother was in prison and I constantly made jokes like that would YOU think it's funny?" and he said yes...yeah, right. Anyway, I just don't need people acting like that, especially when I ask them to stop...that's NOT a friend.

I'm doing everything I can to move this divorce forward quickly and smartly. And today I found out I should get a special visit with my man this Saturday (I haven't seen him in 8 months!!) before he gets moved and that will help SOOOO much! Oh, and my husband just texted and said he made other sleeping arrangements for tonight so hopefully that is moving in the right direction. And yes, I know I've got God on my side!
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:09 PM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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I hope that you will not go alone to confront him! Take someone with you, maybe a cop or someone! He might be just fine with everything but apparently, you have questions or you would not ask someone to be there for you! You are my friend and I am concerned for you. I know that you are a strong, determined lady. I don't doubt that at all. Just be careful and most of all be smart! God Bless!
Thanks, sweetie. A girlfriend of mine that lives out of state suggested I have someone there which is why I asked that one last male friend. Well, turns out he came in to my room today and just started talking about this stuff so it's all out there and I didn't need anyone after all. It's been a crazy day and I'm starting to feel drained! (well, until I realize I'll get to see my man on SATURDAY!!!! For the first time in 8 months! whoo hoo!!!)
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Old 04-15-2012, 10:17 PM
NeverDull NeverDull is offline
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Awwwww KLewis....I love you girl. I'm SO sorry you are going through all this crap with your kids! Damn teenagers!! I'm SOOO lucky my boys are well behaved but I'll tell ya they are having a tough time watching their family fall apart around them. They are scared about their future.

It's strange because I don't really get mad at my man so much anymore...I'm just upset about the situation...of course HE caused it, but I guess I've forgiven him to the point where I just want to move on and press forward. I just miss him SO much! He always calms me down and is so protective of me and I NEED that right now. I just wish HE could be standing right next to me as I tell my husband to FINALLY pack his crap and get out of the door. He's resisting me and saying "why do *I* have to go?" UGH!!! He can go move in with his girlfriend or brother...my only option would be to go to Texas with my parents which means our business would explode in his face. Honestly our business would be fine without him, but it will collapse without me. Seriously. If my man was here giving his "mean Russian look" my husband would be running out of the house! LOL!! Its great having his support via a 15 minute call and emails and letters, but honestly there are just times we need our men here! But I know I'll get through it...I always do. What's the alternative?
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