When the Relationship is Over...This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)
Hi, I posted in another forum, but that was before I knew about this one... Well, my situation is a little difficult we have a son together and we have gone through a lot together. We have known each other for almost 3 years now (its really hard for me to say we've been together) and our son is one. I truly in my heart love him but he has taken me through so much hurt, lies, abuse and heartache that it is hard for me to believe what he says now. He would say hurtful things especially when I was pregnant. When my son was 7 weeks he turned himself in. he has been incarcerated a little over one year now, and while it has been a process to adjust to him not being here, I have found myself a lot less stressed and worried since he is gone...now dont get me wrong, his health, safety, and well being are still important to me. I still love him but this time apart has given me a lot of time to think about my future and where he fits in it. My heart wants me to pick up where we left off, but my experiences tell me to leave while I have the chance to get away. One thing I haven't done is turn my back on him while he is away even if we don't end up together when he gets home, he still needs love and support and I couldn't say I ever loved him if I turn my back when he needs it most...and he apologizes and explains to me that he was going through hell knowing he was turning himself in and after the way he treated me he knew I would leave, and he apologizes over and over again and he tells me that he will make things right this time around but I don't know and its scary...but I truly do still love him without a doubt...well I just needed to vent and any advice would be appreciated
Only you can decide what is best for you and your child. Like I've said before, and this is something that I've realized since my own husband has been gone. Unless he beat the crap out of you, and it would be dangerous for you to get back into a relationship with him, it never hurts to give it one more shot. Just keep your eyes open, and remember that you made it all by yourself while he was locked up. If he doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated, you don't NEED him. Tell him to kick rocks.
The months they don't matter, it's the days I can't take. Where the hours move to minutes, and I'm seconds away.
The Following User Says Thank You to mrs.marks For This Useful Post:
The main choice that you need to make is whether to listen to your heart or your head. I can relate to the situation because I have faced the same things that you are dealing with.
It took me 4 years to find the courage to leave my baby daddy. Life without him was better, less stressful, and I could live without worry that one of my kids were be beaten or killed because of his rage.
Don't get me wrong, I do believe that people change and when people hit rock bottom it tends to serve as a wake-up call. You have to listen to you, because in the end, you are the only one that can be truly counted on.
my situation is like urs except im pregnant by our first n let me tell u pleaseee tell ur heart to shut up start new enjoy ur life and dont let ur heart whind u up in the same mess ...while hes in there he will say whatever but watch when hes out.
And i will never be the same foolish girl that fell for ur words and i will rise from this like never before!