# 2--Are you Raising Kids with their parent in Prison?

[Vanny]

Hello all!! Well I just had our son 16 days ago! So I'm new to the whole motherhood experience and it takes a toll on me emotionally not to have his father out here so we can experience raising our child together. My husband's release date is July 28, 2012, but he is up for parole on July 29, 2011 so our son will only be either 2 or 3 when his daddy comes out. I'm planning on taking him to meet his dad soon..maybe by the end of this year or the beginning of next year and I plan on showing our son lots of pictures of his daddy.

[rubi146]

Hello,

I am new here, my fiance was arrested about 7 months ago, 3 months after our 3rd daughter was born and 3 days before our oldests 11th bday. Needless to say we were all devasted. Our oldest doesnt want anything to do with him and our 7 yo is indifferent. His sentencing was finally last week and as I read in someones post the judge took a few seconds to hand him 9 years! Strangely referenced he has a drug problem, but refused to let him go into a long term residential treatment center! He has priors all for possession and under the influence, but has been so good the 2 years prior until life got more stressful, he relapsed, while continually telling me he could do it on his own. I am so lost and so numb I cant seem to find the time to figure out how we will make it through. I have tried to find a second job to make up his income, but nothing, I am educated, but can't seem to find someone to even offer me an interview! I make too much money for any income based assistance and don't know where to turn. If anyone is in CA and knows of any programs to help, please pass them along.
Thanks.

[GlamJ]

hii everyone my name is jazz n my bf got lock up 2 weeks before i gave birth to our son, he is still in jail n wont be getting out until a month before our son turns one years old, yesss sumtimes its hard n its hurts everyday to know that he is missing these percious moments outta our son life, but i am just hoping n praying when he comes home he be there for his son......

[Mrs.Carrillo]

I have a 2 year old daughter and just had triplets 2 boys and a girl Nov 17 2009, and my kids dad my fiance just caught some new charges and went back to prison 2 weeks ago. Everyday is a major struggle.. I just wanna let these ladies kno i feel for you.. This is the hardest thing i ever been thru

[billswife97]

Originally Posted by deb

Hi! My name is Deb and I have 4 children and my husband is inside. I thought that this thread could be a way for us to introduce ourselves much like the parents with children inside folks have. I know the stress and at times powerlessness this causes in your life. I would like to use this thread to list those of us (whether you be a parent, grandparent, or caretaker) who are raising children who have a parent inside:

I have 4 kids: Stephen (29) out on his own, Heather (24) out on her own, Chris (22) out on his own, and Zach (12) at home..... ( My first husband died so the older 3 are from that marriage but we've been with my current husband since 1992 and Zach is ours. My current husband has 2 from a previous that we had visitation with til all of this--they are 15--Alyssa and 13--Aaron and will be back in the picture at some point). I also became a grandma in March to a beautiful little boy named Talon when my son, Chris, became a father....

Deb

**Wow! I had to go in and change their ages from the first thread I started... It's unreal how time (in some cases goes by so quickly)...

hello. my name is jennifer. i have 2 teenagers. shelby is 16 and drew is 14. it is vey tough especialy since i had to take on 2 jobs to make ends meet.sometimes i am so angry at bill for being gone. and then i will get a letter from him and i feel bad.

[ebbeysweets]

Hi! I have an 8 year old that is a part of this prison life my boyfriend has got himself tangled in. He had made a promise to her to be there for her and decided to be her father figure in Jan.08. Since he has been incarcerated he gets upset that she doesnt write him. I constantly remind him that she's only a kid..she views writing as work...she has to be pushed to do homework...what makes him think she wants to pick up a pencil to write? lol She loves to visit him, so there is still hope. She gets very mushy around him,shy and it drives me crazy when she acts helpless when we are on visits! Ughh! But I'm happy he still loves her regardless. He is still getting used to being a father so I have to tell him a bit to do "fatherly" things like...to play with her a bit in the children's room, to play games with all of us..etc. I'm proud of him though!

[Brittney Nathan]

I have a 2 year old, a 5 year old, and an 8 year old. We've lost our home and are staying between 3 different relatives. I work full-time, but I haven't the money to afford a place of our own. I had to get a car b/c my other one was wrecked months ago, and that's a necessity or I don't go to work-there are no buses that run where I work.
It's rough, but I do what I can. I'm going to try to get back in school part time, and maybe find a part time job. I'm tired as it is, but it can't be helped. My hubby gets out in six months, so it's not that long. I can do this, and I WILL...

[MRS.SLiCK]

Hi everyone. iM J and im 21 years old. My brother and his "bm" have a baby on the way. She is due in march 2010 and they are both in prison. I am still a college student and i am going to be raising the Baby until one of them comes home. I have no children of my own and have been trying to avoid having any. Now i am forced to raise their child because im not going to let my niece/nephew become a number in the system. So for the mothers out there.. any advice will be great!!

[strong&broken]

I have a 4 yr old and 6 month old unfortunetly my daughter will grow up with this until she is about 7 to 10 yrs old and my son will almost be 13. My son knows and we see him often but you can tell the confusion is there! You just have to do your best and try hard for the children. Let them know this is a way of life right now and hopefully daddy will be home soon.

[boyswifey4]

Hi ladies my names Jessica im 22 a single mother of 4 beautiful girls Alanna(7)Navaya(5) Jaylynne(4) LillyAnna(1)my man has only been locked up almost 4 months but wow where to start its been a long 4months i should say soon after his incarceration i got in a car accident my 1yr. has been very ill she gots TB im glad that cuz its curable instead of cancer they found a large mass in her right lung its just one struggle after another but he will be home soon i hope lifes a struggle needless to say

[KendiLee]

I am 23 and my boyfriend got locked up 1 month after our 4 month old son was born. It has been the hardest thing being a new mother and trying to figure out how to care for me and our baby and give him everything that he needs in there. I have never kept my baby from his dad, my son started visiting when he was 2.5 mo old! It is the only thing that keeps my man going from day to day. Our son will be 8 mo before he is even eligable for parole and 2.5 before his actual release date... I pray every day he comes home to use this summer

[shaneswife1127]

hey everyone. i got prego at the beginning of last year n have been away from my husband since febuary 09. i had our daughter on oct. 16 09. he jus got 20 years. hopefully he will only have to do 12. i cant wait for family visits and he will finally get to hold our beautiful baby girl

[buzie3]

I have a now recent ex partner in prison. I have a daughter who is 8 years old which isn't his. They didn't get along very well because he was nasty towards her and jelious. We have a son together Liam who is 6 months old. My ex wasn't there for the pregnancy,the birth or the raising part.
I have stoppped taking Liam in to see him after he threatened to punch my teeth in if I came into visit him and he said that he will go back to jail for something worht it next time and that would be manslaughter of me.
He called the other day my phone is now disconnected so this is the last call that I took from him.
He said that he will get his rights to Liam while he is in there. I have spoken to other women in the same situation and social workers have to take their children into see their father's. I am really concerned that he wiil emottionally abuse our son as he gets older. He isn't a very safe person to be around.
Originally I tired to maintain a relationship between him and Liam but the abuseive vistis with him have got too much. I live three hours away from the prison and I am not going to waste my time to be abused in fromt of ous son and called names. He is threatening tot ake me to court because I am not taking him into see him and I am scared that he will do this and I know that he is going to do this. I just wish that he would leave us alone. I have moved house disconnected the phone. I just want to move on and meet someone that will actually love me and the kids. I am in Australia so I know that the laws are different here than in the USA. Here they encourage fathers to have contact with their children no matter what. I know a paedofile that was even allowed to see his two kids because he didn't molest them. I think that the Australian government has got it all wrong when it comes to protecting our children from abuse. Well that is our story

[Peacemaker2206]

Hi everyone,

I have a 19 month old daughter her dad is preparing to go to federal prison, he's done state time before. He has an 11 year old son that will be living with me and a two year old who will be visiting us often. My daughter and I will be living at his house while he's gone, at least that's the plan.

I am hoping to be able to keep the kids close, they spend lots of time together with their dad now. I am nervous and not sure how this will all turn out or how to deal with their issues of separation.

[i_love_magic]

my daughter is 1 and her dad is gettin locked up for possibly 8 yrs. with 5 years sexual probabtion cuz he had sex with a 15 year old. (she was willing) he's 19 and she snitched on him... how when she gets older and asks about her daddy idk how to tell her he's in prison