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Death Row - Friends and Families Please post here if you are friends with, married to or otherwise involved with a Death Row inmate. This forum is a place to find support, information and understanding.

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  #1  
Old 01-26-2010, 07:44 AM
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Default would it be ok to send a valentines day card?

Hi Folks

My pal on the dr knows I am gay, he knows I am in a relationship, he knows that there has never been any romance on offer. He doesn't have a wife or a girlfriend (so nobody to offend there). Sooooooo would it be ok to send him a valentines card? I think he will be fine and will not reading any wrong messages in it at all. I would just send him a card with an update of what we are up to just like in every other card I send him.

I just wanted to be sure that on the inside getting a valentine from someone other than a sweetheart is not going to cause him some kind of grief.

Ready for your advice as ever - you guys are the best
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Old 01-26-2010, 07:57 AM
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You're fine--send the card!! There are all different types--just choose a funny one over a romantic one. He knows your situation so as long as you don't send mixed messages (ie a lacy, romantic card) he'll be happy to hear from you.
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  #3  
Old 01-26-2010, 08:14 AM
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I send Valentine's cards to my pals and don't have any problems. As mammastalkin mentioned, I would go for funny or plain over anything even remotely romantic. I usually try to get something funny or cute to give them a good laugh. Plus, I know they always love to get an extra piece of mail!
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  #4  
Old 01-26-2010, 02:50 PM
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Fantastic - I knew you guys would know best!!

I think the same.......an extra piece of mail can only be a good thing. Thanks for the tip, over here there are some really funny cards so i'll pick him one up tomorrow and get it mailed.

Thanks gang
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Old 01-27-2010, 12:07 AM
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I think that's a lovely idea. You go for it, I'm sure he'll be delighted.
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Old 01-27-2010, 01:11 PM
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Got one! It has a chilli pepper and sweetcorn on the front with some joke about buttering the corn up for a hot night! It's daft, not suggestive, and going out in the mail tomorrow!
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Old 01-28-2010, 11:52 AM
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Yeah sure go for it, and the card you have chosen sounds perfect. Just the right balance to know that your thinking of him, but no romance. All the guys love cards and a Valentines card show that a celebration is a celebration and they are worth the effort.
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Old 02-05-2010, 03:23 PM
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How's this for a coincidence? Today I receive the most amazing hand-painted card from my pal. It's to me and my partner for Valentines Day! I think the letter inside is dated the day before I posted mine out to him!

First time either of us have sent one! Awwww.
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Old 02-05-2010, 03:33 PM
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That is nice! Aren't you glad you sent one?!
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Old 02-05-2010, 03:50 PM
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Oh yes!!! How low would I have felt if I hadn't?!!!

It's a beautiful card (our son, 7, is amazed at how well he can paint!). More than anything I'm pleased that we are both on the same kind of level in our friendship. It's great to have a friendship which seems evenly balanced. Last year we both ignored the day!
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Old 02-05-2010, 04:19 PM
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So sweet Mooshy - glad it turned out this way. Your friend sounds lovely.
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  #12  
Old 02-05-2010, 06:17 PM
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Originally Posted by mooshy View Post
Hi Folks

My pal on the dr knows I am gay, he knows I am in a relationship, he knows that there has never been any romance on offer. He doesn't have a wife or a girlfriend (so nobody to offend there). Sooooooo would it be ok to send him a valentines card? I think he will be fine and will not reading any wrong messages in it at all. I would just send him a card with an update of what we are up to just like in every other card I send him.

I just wanted to be sure that on the inside getting a valentine from someone other than a sweetheart is not going to cause him some kind of grief.

Ready for your advice as ever - you guys are the best
Hi I am new at this so bear with me. I write 40 guys they all know I am married but I send them all cards every holiday and encourgament.They all love it!
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Old 02-06-2010, 06:02 AM
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40 pen pals. Wow thats a lot of cards. I think its brilliant that you are reaching out to so many
Mooshy the card sounds lovely. I'm so glad it turned out well for you.
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  #14  
Old 02-06-2010, 03:25 PM
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40 PALS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is incredible! Bravo. Don't think I could keep that up!
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Old 02-07-2010, 04:54 AM
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Hi Mooshy,
just read your post and I love it. My husband on the row has a gay ppl too (and had some before) and I never felt offended by him sending letters or even gifts to my Sweetie. We all know about each other and I love the friendship and love my hubby gets from others, men or women, that makes no difference.
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  #16  
Old 02-07-2010, 05:04 AM
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Last edited by sweetnina; 02-07-2010 at 05:58 AM.. Reason: double post
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Old 02-07-2010, 05:52 AM
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-------------------------
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Last edited by sweetnina; 02-07-2010 at 05:59 AM.. Reason: double post
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Old 02-07-2010, 10:20 AM
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To remember what I said to my guys I take lots of notes.The faces of the Wal mart check out people is priceless,when I come through with 50 or so cards!! It usually takes me a week to do all of them.I try to include a note to each one.But it is time well spent.
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Old 02-07-2010, 03:12 PM
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Thank you Sweetnina.....I told my pal from the start about my sexuality (didn't want to get his hopes up ) and he has always been totally accepting. He sends little notes for my partner and loves to hear about our son. I think it is wonderful that you are so welcoming to your hubby's pal.
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Old 02-07-2010, 03:13 PM
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Oh my word Susan! You write them all in a week?!?!?!?!? Sounds like a full-time job!

Your postman must love you
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Old 02-08-2010, 03:03 AM
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I know someone here who has almost 200 pen pals, and also sends out cards to any inmate she hears of who needs a little extra love. I won't name her, but most of us here know who I mean. People who can spread so much love to so many are IMO earth angels, as are people like Susan. Respect and blessings!
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Old 02-08-2010, 09:14 AM
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As a christian, I am always told that God gives everyone a "gift". Some people can be nurses, lawyers, social workers, teachers, preachers, etc.... other's have been given the gift of encouragement. Some cannot leave their home to do "wonderous" things so they do it from their home. A small word can bring so much comfort to a person. It's a "gift" and one that should not be tucked away or hidden, or even NOT used.

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I know someone here who has almost 200 pen pals, and also sends out cards to any inmate she hears of who needs a little extra love. I won't name her, but most of us here know who I mean. People who can spread so much love to so many are IMO earth angels, as are people like Susan. Respect and blessings!
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  #23  
Old 02-08-2010, 01:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Joy View Post
As a christian, I am always told that God gives everyone a "gift". Some people can be nurses, lawyers, social workers, teachers, preachers, etc.... other's have been given the gift of encouragement. Some cannot leave their home to do "wonderous" things so they do it from their home. A small word can bring so much comfort to a person. It's a "gift" and one that should not be tucked away or hidden, or even NOT used.
That's a lovely thought.
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Old 02-17-2010, 07:41 AM
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Such a lovely post Joy, and so true.


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Originally Posted by Joy View Post
As a christian, I am always told that God gives everyone a "gift". Some people can be nurses, lawyers, social workers, teachers, preachers, etc.... other's have been given the gift of encouragement. Some cannot leave their home to do "wonderous" things so they do it from their home. A small word can bring so much comfort to a person. It's a "gift" and one that should not be tucked away or hidden, or even NOT used.
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The USA has 5% of the worlds population and 25% of the the worlds prisoners.
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