NOTICE: Do you dislike someone at PTO? (and other issues!) - Suggested Reading!

[NENAZ]

David,
I've never had a problems, the Men and Women here are such a blessing . I love the support and the warm welcomes you receive.
Thank you,
Nenaz

[missmyhubby735]

i am so happy that i found a place where people can help me and have alot of respect..thank u so much and i appreciate everthing you do to keep pto a safe place for all of us..

[UserNamesRCrazy]

Although I'm not here as often as I was when my son was first sent to prison, I do appreciate this site, and the family here. I've had my share of "omg" moments when reading posts, but I don't dislike anyone here. Everyone I've dealt with has been very kind, informative and supportive.

Thank you for this site, and for your devotion!

Originally Posted by David

It seems that about once a year we have to clean house - for lack of a better term - and today a number of people will have their memberships terminated for a number of reasons. They know what they have been doing and why. No further explanation will be given to them or people in the future who snub their nose at PTO’s policies and cannot respect other members here.

Before I go any further I want to thank the vast majority of PTO members who have little or no problem getting along with others and following the policies that the members and staff have developed over the last 4 years here at PTO. I know it is not always easy getting along with everyone in such a huge “family” as we have here at PTO, but the majority of you make an art out of it, even when you don’t agree with someone else’s view points.

Unfortunately, there are a few people that have a real hard time getting along with others and we mean to cure these problems by simply removing them. It seems that it is all too easy for a few people to forget or simply deny Prison Talk Online’s community purpose and the policies under which we operate.
Most importantly, I think these few people forget that PTO is NOT some public newsgroup, yahoo group or any other open general community in which they can say or do whatever they please… PTO is far from either of those. PTO is our house / home and those who cannot get along with others here are going to be asked to leave or removed. Nobody here has the absolute right to say or do as they please when it hurts other PTO members or that may incite problems with visitors.
Despite the protests and legal threats made by those that "have problems" about freedom of speech, this is not some governmental entity – it is a private community and membership here is a privilege even though it is free and easy to sign up. That means membership can be revoked and without any warning should someone become a problem here. This may seem cold to some but we simply are not going to put up with these few people causing trouble for all the rest of the people who come here looking for support and to help others. PTO was not, is not, and never will be for those who enjoy drama because they are bored or like to go after people with other ideals than their own.

For those who may be doing the following – understand why you may try to access PTO one day and find your membership terminated without warning and your IP range banned from our servers. I suggest everyone review PTO policies every few months. They are easy, common sense policies which most people live by in the outside world each and every day. If you show people here the same respect as you do on the streets, you should not have any problem. If you consider people and situations “on-line” to be different or worth less respect, you probably will have issues eventually.


1. If you have an issue with some other PTO member and you are attacking/abusing them or promoting a campaign against the person(s) you don’t like - including trying to poison others against this person and cause them grief here in our community or elsewhere - your membership here will be terminated and IP ranges banned. *This includes if you are plotting, planning, creating or exasserbating the issue via Instant Messenger or any other means that is documented and sent to us. (Word of Advice!: Not everyone you may be talking to in IM & IM chats (or elsewhere) always agrees with the abuse of other people, even if they just nod their heads for the moment! It has been surprising in the past the logs that have been sent to us)

2. If you are soliciting business in any part of PTO (chat, forums, PM’s and future components) for yourself or in a company’s behalf and we find out… Your membership here will be terminated and IP ranges banned.

3. If you have multiple active accounts (you use more than one) here at PTO, when we uncover them they will be terminated and your IP range banned. Some or all posts made by those accounts may be removed based on our discretion.

4. If you are acting as an agent for a banned member, meaning passing information, soliciting contact information, etc. You may find yourself banned as well.

5. If you are soliciting for other communities or groups, you may be banned.

6. If you are slamming PTO, PTO Staff or PTO Members, or trying to create problems for them in other locations that may affect them here, your membership at PTO may be terminated.

Simply put, if anyone goes out of their way at all to make life any worse than it already is for people dealing with the prison system we are going to do our best to remove them from the equation where it concerns Prison Talk Online. We want no part of those who make life harder than it already is. PTO’s goal is to support people and share information… Not be a place where people get caught up in unnecessary drama. The solution is no longer going to be counseling anyone. We’re just simply going to ban them and be done with it. If they chose to come back, we will erase their existence here time after time.

Now, an additional note about Correctional Officers, Probation Officers and others that visit and become active in our community. Let there be no misunderstanding – they are welcome here as long as they are not here to abuse any one or cause problems. Over the past 4 years I can tell you that the majority of current and ex-CO’s (and others) that have signed up and participated at PTO have been good for our members and nice people. I know there are some PTO members that are just anti-anything-to-do-with-DOC, probation or law enforcement. I understand some of you may have had some very bad experiences with DOC employees, but that does not mean all of them are bad, and those that do come here to offer information & assistance usually are the good ones. Those that come here with a different attitude and goal are swiftly removed from this community along with their posts, defeating their purpose to cause problems. Most of the anti-prisoner & prisoner family types know exactly what PTO is about and what will happen, and don’t waste their time here.

I would like everyone to keep in mind that when asking a question or receiving an answer from a current or ex-DOC member (or anyone else for that matter) it might not always be sugar coated. This does not constitute abuse or unsupportiveness. (Example) If you talk about bringing in contraband or violating DOC policy, and they point out your comments as to why you lost your visitation; that is not an non-supportive comment. It wouldn’t be for a regular member to make and isn’t for a DOC member to make.

Un supportive is not when you don’t like the answer to your question or something you posted. Unsupportive is when someone is disrespectful, rude or abusive. I know everyone has a different opinion on what those may be but we look at things in common sense terms.

If you feel someone is unsupportive, contact the moderator of that forum or another if they are not available. Do not start battling it out in the forums.



David (Fed-X)

[sweetgirlb]

I would be horrified to find that this is a place for "popularity contests".
why not adopt an attitude of "PRINCIPLES before PERSONALITIES"

I come here for information to help my baby come home ONLY(maybe share information I have gleaned as well)... not to win popularity and influence favor of people.
I dont like everyone here, but I dont know them well enough to hold a judgment on character, either. I dont have to "like" someone to get along. I am not the type to sugarcoat anything, unless it is genuinely sweet already.
I know I am not the only one that has this outlook.
if I get banned for this comment then I am sorry you all feel differently.

[Lovelasts]

I appreciate the policies here and I support the decisions made by the PTO staff! This is a wonderful place to be for support and understanding! Thank you very much!

[ShoogaBritches]

I said I was gonna keep my thoughts to myself...I really did...but, I did that for years and got no where except abused and a hernia.

So, for what it's worth...

There have been several folks I didn't care for....yeap, right here on PTO. And, I'll even go so far to say that all of them aren't or wasn't just members, either.

But, you know what? I don't know a person, not a real live person, that would/could/does like everyone they come across.

And, I was never promised that everyone would like me, either. Now, how robotic would that be?

I used to live at PTO. But, life and comfort got in the way. Some days, I just don't have time to get on here. Some days, I don't think I can take the 'in your face' feelings I get sometimes.

It used to be kept to a low hum, if at all. But, here lately there has been such hateful people that seem to thrive on attacking, I just can't deal with it. So, I stay away. And, it doesn't even seem to be personal, it's just that the few I see looking for something to chew are doing just that...they just need to chew. But, man....on us? All the time? How about go vent in the 'Here to Hear You' Forum? That's what it's all about for pete's sake.

Is that the adult thing to do? Is that the PTO mannerly thing to do? For me to just 'stay away'?

No, I am really asking. I don't get out much except to shop, work and go visit...except to shop, I really am not out in the public that much so I wonder if I've fell behind on my knowledge of how to socialize sometimes.

It's not that I don't feel welcome here at PTO...I just don't have any better sense, I have been here a while and unless Admin has something to say, I come on in here like it's another room of my house. But, I don't post as much because I am just not up for the routine sometimes.

Is PTO taking a different course then the original intent? I used to feel like this was a place for me to come and relax and feel like I belonged. But, here lately something has happened....it's like this webpage is full of memories...it used to be...and I miss it. Now, you better get your boxing gloves or duck tape, and what ever you do don't forget your big girl panties....(like I, as a lifer's lady, can take the damn things off, anyway).

I am really serious here now. Much bigger plots and plans have been devised and failed, but I ask you guys....Is the fall of PTO going to be it's own? I wonder how many others feel the same way?

I know we are not supposed to post complaints on the boards, but the big dude kind of opened the can here....and, imagine the irony I felt upon seeing this thread...

I don't care what yall do in your personal lives, because I don't plan on divulging mine. If you go to prison, if you write from a prison cell....if you are black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Spanish, Cuban, Creole or Italian....straight, gay, bi, lesbian, trans gendered or whatever the politically correct term is today. I do not care if your criminal record is a mile long, I don't care if you are seriously in love with what society THINKS is the worst of the worst. I don't care if you have no record at all. I don't care if he crossed the street and got VOP and has to do 10 years or that she killed her husband/lover/significant other out of self defense and got life...

Not when it comes to the way folks are treated when they come to the only place on earth that gives a damn about the folks that come here. You all know what I mean by that, too.

I have my opinions, but I try my best to always, always remember another human being JUST LIKE ME was on the other side of this monitor when they hit the 'submit post' button.

At any rate, I don't lower myself to stalking someone online, no matter how much I dislike them. It's got to be pretty bad for me to notice any one person because I don't keep up with names most of the time. I just read the post.

And, besides all this, who has time to do something like that? I didn't when I was out of work.

Okay, I've said my piece...

[mywife19]

Honestly, there are those whose opinions I don't care much for, and others I hold in high regard. The ones i don't care much, I keep it going and move on to the next post--don't even respond. The ones I do appreciate, I make a friend and show my appreciation through my thanks.

Simply put, I treat the people in PTO the same way I would treat those outside: I say my peace or keep it shut and, keep it moving. I hope I don't sound too harsh, but I'm not here to make best friends. I became a member because we all have something in common---we have someone we love in an ugly situation and we need a place to get information, ask questions, to just let it out. If we make friends, fine. If not, then whatever. But I think our main intent for being here is to find answers in a world that we're not used to being a part of. And that's all--for the most part anyway. Anything that comes out of it is just an added bonus.

[lin263]

Oh my, I have not seen any rude or cruel behavior on this web site. I would also like to take this moment and say THANK YOU to everyone that has helped me through so difficult times, and continue to put up with my whinning about things I have no control over. You all know who you are

If I have offended anyone on this web site, I want to say I'M SO DARN SORRY, I MEANT NO HARM.

[Valerie]

I've been here so long ,it's a part of my life. Glad your still here PTO and glad I am too.

[DipsyDoodle]

im not here much cos there's never really any action going on here and I am new but i really dont care for any of the people on this board. I notice that if someone posts a question thats actually "real" and not some lovey dovey post or "yay i got a letter" post the people on here seem to attack the person and can be very rude, nasty and crude. Its really irritating cos i guess this is supposed to place where you can come and vent and chat with others that are in the same situation as you but it really doesnt seem that way so i kind of stay away.

[patchouli]

I'm sorry you feel that way, DipsyDoodle. We're like a big family here...and in big families there are always those that rub you the wrong way, there are always disagreements etc. We do not discourage debate or advice that falls on both sides of the fence. What we do discourage are posts that attack members personally for whatever reason. Read in a variety of forums and you'll see how much information, comfort and kicks in the arse are posted everyday. Best wishes to you.....................

[Cubana]

Originally Posted by ShoogaBritches

I said I was gonna keep my thoughts to myself...I really did...but, I did that for years and got no where except abused and a hernia.

So, for what it's worth...

There have been several folks I didn't care for....yeap, right here on PTO. And, I'll even go so far to say that all of them aren't or wasn't just members, either.

But, you know what? I don't know a person, not a real live person, that would/could/does like everyone they come across.

And, I was never promised that everyone would like me, either. Now, how robotic would that be?

I used to live at PTO. But, life and comfort got in the way. Some days, I just don't have time to get on here. Some days, I don't think I can take the 'in your face' feelings I get sometimes.

It used to be kept to a low hum, if at all. But, here lately there has been such hateful people that seem to thrive on attacking, I just can't deal with it. So, I stay away. And, it doesn't even seem to be personal, it's just that the few I see looking for something to chew are doing just that...they just need to chew. But, man....on us? All the time? How about go vent in the 'Here to Hear You' Forum? That's what it's all about for pete's sake.

Is that the adult thing to do? Is that the PTO mannerly thing to do? For me to just 'stay away'?

No, I am really asking. I don't get out much except to shop, work and go visit...except to shop, I really am not out in the public that much so I wonder if I've fell behind on my knowledge of how to socialize sometimes.

It's not that I don't feel welcome here at PTO...I just don't have any better sense, I have been here a while and unless Admin has something to say, I come on in here like it's another room of my house. But, I don't post as much because I am just not up for the routine sometimes.

Is PTO taking a different course then the original intent? I used to feel like this was a place for me to come and relax and feel like I belonged. But, here lately something has happened....it's like this webpage is full of memories...it used to be...and I miss it. Now, you better get your boxing gloves or duck tape, and what ever you do don't forget your big girl panties....(like I, as a lifer's lady, can take the damn things off, anyway).

I am really serious here now. Much bigger plots and plans have been devised and failed, but I ask you guys....Is the fall of PTO going to be it's own? I wonder how many others feel the same way?

I know we are not supposed to post complaints on the boards, but the big dude kind of opened the can here....and, imagine the irony I felt upon seeing this thread...

I don't care what yall do in your personal lives, because I don't plan on divulging mine. If you go to prison, if you write from a prison cell....if you are black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Spanish, Cuban, Creole or Italian....straight, gay, bi, lesbian, trans gendered or whatever the politically correct term is today. I do not care if your criminal record is a mile long, I don't care if you are seriously in love with what society THINKS is the worst of the worst. I don't care if you have no record at all. I don't care if he crossed the street and got VOP and has to do 10 years or that she killed her husband/lover/significant other out of self defense and got life...

Not when it comes to the way folks are treated when they come to the only place on earth that gives a damn about the folks that come here. You all know what I mean by that, too.

I have my opinions, but I try my best to always, always remember another human being JUST LIKE ME was on the other side of this monitor when they hit the 'submit post' button.

At any rate, I don't lower myself to stalking someone online, no matter how much I dislike them. It's got to be pretty bad for me to notice any one person because I don't keep up with names most of the time. I just read the post.

And, besides all this, who has time to do something like that? I didn't when I was out of work.

Okay, I've said my piece...

it's almost as if you read my mind. i couldn't have said it better. it definitely not the same.

[aba]

Originally Posted by Cubana

it's almost as if you read my mind. i couldn't have said it better. it definitely not the same.

I agree that things don't seem the same here as they were 6 months ago when I joined. Today for the first time I felt I got a taste of what really was what I valued so much about this community....unconditional support, encouragement, and information. Over the course of the last month, I have felt that we have drifted away from David's mission upon the creation of this site. Hopefully we get back to basics, or I fear the true meaning and intent of PTO will become tainted to the point where the informative and constructive posts so many depend on upon arrival here will be replaced by something that differs from the unique and extraordinary support group that we have found so helpful as we all deal with our respective adversity.

I would like to add that ShuggaBritches opinion and that of so many of us that value PTO for being such a wonderful destination are not mutually exclusive. I think she makes very valid points that could potentially compromise PTO's mission. And it's admirable to bring that to other member's attention if she feels that way, and in no way does that demean or belittle PTO in any way. It's an honest expression of one's opinion, and whether one agrees or disagrees, I for one, respect the right of anyone to post whatever is on their mind, as long as it's not a direct attack or blatant display of disrepect or libelous.

[humboldtsweetie]

1000 posts later, and i haven't had a problem yet! keep up the good work!

[cyrsu]

So much information here,

OMG, This forum is sooooo helpful by sharing the experiences of others,

yes, there are some who may be selfish criminals who do not deserve compassion,
but Jesus DIED for us while we were yet sinners,
and nobody is perfect,

but we all need to be shown the way
by those more perfect people and that is by communicating.

I have found the people here to be very compassionate,
except when they not.
but very rare to see those who are not,