Would you mind if your LongTime offender had a pen pal ad up online?

[mrs.russell81]

Originally Posted by Lugnut88

You make some excellant points. But I just think, Let the women who want a pen pal in prison write to the guys who have no mail. It's not neccesary to write to my man who has me, and his best friend, etc.

If he's so freaking bored in there he can barely find the time to write us, then he damn sure does not need to be writing others. I don't trust any woman who would write to a guy in prison she does not know, IF she knows he has a GF or wife.

Now, if it's a guy w/no contacts out here, those women SHOULD write them, that's lovely. But leave the guys involved alone. Women are schemeres, just as men are. It's dangerous ground and if my BF was writing to another chick, I'd cut him off. To me, it's a form of cheating and I won't stand for cheating.

It's the same as if he were out here. Would I want him chatting w/some chick online? NO WAY. It's inapproriate if some stranger randomly decides to write him...nooooo, back off, lady. Same as if he were approached on Myspace. it's not cool.

Hell yeah i mean der are plenty of guys dat need someone to write 2 dem bt not my man he gets visits and letters all da time so really no other female needs to write him and definetly NO VISITS!!! bt he is very honest with me about getting dat letter from his ex girlfriend it was funny cuz she was trying to get back with him i couldnt believe she would think he would take her back i laughed cuz she was so stupid and ur right if he was writing other females dat is a form of cheating espcially when dis prison stuff is so hard as it is we dont need to add anymore stess or possible drama down da road cuz i dont believe a female would want to just write him i mean he is good looking, he knows how 2 conversate very well through letters, and is getting over very soon. So yeah i would leave da relationship if he choose to disrespect me in dat way

[LetsRide]

I guess we're in the minority then. Maybe I'm just crazy the way I look at things.

[mrs.russell81]

Originally Posted by LetsRide

I guess we're in the minority then. Maybe I'm just crazy the way I look at things.

thats okay cuz who wants to be like everyone else anyways dats boring lol

[beeanne]

My guy is probably not ever coming home. Whatever he has to do to get through the days is okay by me.

[dresgirl]

That would be a major problem for me....i should be his only pen pal..especailly since i am not being with anyone else - i am committed to him - i expect the same from him because if he did have a pen pal it could lead to something futher.....i think that would end our relationship

[Lugnut88]

Okay so I asked my BF about this. he said about 20% of the men he lives with who have wives and GF's are pen-paling to get money, gifts, things they need their ladies cannot provide. He said they have one guy who is a poet, who the guys pay $5.00 a poem to, and then tell their ladies they wrote it, while they are also sending it to other women pen pals.

Now, this is the MINORITY, of course! Most men are faithful, I'm sure. But this is excatly why I would be terribly upset if my BF did this.

And he HAS. When he was first locked up, 20 years ago, women would read about him in the paper. Strangers. They'd write asking for nude pics, asking for marriage, asking for a prison BF.
He let another friend of his write back, using his name, and that inmate got money, money and more money.

Unfortunately, alot of inmates are con artsists. They kind of have to be to survivie in there. I would not be a pen pal because I'd be too afraid of being used. And so I have to wonder why some women/men would reach out to a prisoner they don't know personally. Volunteer work, prison minsitry, that's great. But I'd be too afraid to pen.

I admire you ladies/men who can do it. Your hearts are certainly in the right place. But I was livid when strange women were trying to get my BF to write to them.

[mrs.russell81]

It's crazy how woman do that. My husband when he first got locked up did some stuff like that were he was getting woman to pay for stuff for him. These girls fell in love with him. He is very honest with me and at the time money was real tight. It got to the point where I said choose me or those other girls cuz I felt like that was a form of cheating even though he would reassure me that those other females didnt mean anything to him. Well long story short we're not dealing with that anymore thank god, and he never allowed them to go visit him. This subject is such a hard one and I don't understand why a woman would allow herself to get envolved like that. Me personally I don't think it's wrong for woman to want to get to know someone, but to actually send them money without knowing for sure if they were playing you no way I work to hard for my money, but I guess there are woman out here that need a man that bad that they would pay for that title

[sweetblack29]

i definitly would be upset because it could be that one girl who he feels like he really connects with and their relationship is on a whole other level than you and his next thing you know hes gonna end up leaving you for the other chick hellllll nooooo i would leave my man if i was to find out because why have me if you need another chick to conversate with?????

[Mrs.HRodriguez]

I wouldn't be mad...I would just wonder what I'm not providing in conversation or letters that he feels he needs to get somewhere else. There's plenty of men in there to conversate with so I doubt he needs a man to write to. Another woman should not be writing him unless it is someone I know and approve of.

[robs_angel]

I would have alot of questions.. If he/she needed to have a pen pal I would have concerns that he/she wasnt getting what they need from myself. Communcation is key in relationships, I would ask the reasons why he/she wanted it?

[B.Peso]

I agree. If that's something he feels like he needs, then, what am I not providing? AND, if he's bent on doing it, he can. Then, they can write him and do anything else I do for him. Loving someone behind bars is something that you can not control. I mean, you can't control who you love, but, loving them also comes with sacrifice. If me alone, standing by him is not enough, then him corresponding with other women that I do not know or approve of... That's too big a sacrifice for me to make.

[Kimi06]

I wouldn't mind him writing to other people because he is doing
this time behind the wall. I am standing by his side as his friend.
I always tell him to do what he has to do for his sanity. He has
always been respectful and truthful to me. I stand by whatever
works for him as we are only good friends.

KImi06

[kendra425]

Originally Posted by esteli

I wouldn't like it one bit if my hubby was writing other women and if he was writing other women just to get money and things paid for in essence using someone, I would lose respect for him.

Oh I AGREE! How could I even think of being with someone that straight out was using other women? It is men like that that give all prison pen-pals a bad name. Do you have any idea how many people try to tell me "Oh he's just using you for money" and I'm sorry that hurts. I know my man loves me. I am his one and only but I still have insecurities because my guy is drop dead handsome, but he would have to have to pay someone else to write his letters if he wanted to woo a woman out of her money! LOL He never knows what to say and he is forever putting his foot in his mouth. But that is what I love about him, he's so honest he's blunt. But if he ever told me that he wanted to put a pen-pal ad up, ooooh I would be jealous as heck! I would probably counter it with an ad on match.com!! I could look for new "friends" too!

[Help Lord]

yes I would!!

[cazann23]

There is no way in hell I would be ok with that. I am his pen pal and wife all in one. If guys that have nothing and no one want a pen pal thats all good but not my husband. Lucky for me my man is obsessed with me and I dont have to worry about that.