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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Are you faithful to your man?
yes 1,442 92.50%
no 63 4.04%
would rather not say 54 3.46%
Voters: 1559. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 02-20-2009, 09:31 PM
katiesimmons katiesimmons is offline
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Question Staying faithful to your man while he's locked up?

Question. How do you stay faithful to your man when hes going to be gone a LONG time. What can you do? It bothers me bc I dont know if I can but I dont want to ruin my marriage and cheating is one way to throw it right out the window. What do you women do that have to wait for 20 yrs or so. Mine is only 2 yrs but I dont think that I can wait for him to come home!
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  #2  
Old 02-20-2009, 09:34 PM
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As you can see in my ticker i have about 2 1/2 years left making a total of 3 years im waiting. I will admit it is hard! i remember i slipped and gave a guy my number but i immediately cut that off after 1 day. If you really love him and value what you guys share then you should be just fine. I dont want to lose what we have which i kno we would if i cheated on him. Just take it one day at a time. Stop thinking about the total of 2 years and just take it one day at a time
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  #3  
Old 02-20-2009, 09:39 PM
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To me it's a no brainer. I honestly have no feelings for any other man in that way but Matthew. In fact, the thought of hooking up with anyone else repulses me.
I can't explain how I stay faithful - I just do. Because I love him and I know he is so worth the wait.
Having random sex with someone else will just leave you feeling cheap, used and awful in the end. Not to mention it will hurt your husband.
I think you need to ask yourself why you are feeling like you can't stay faithful to your husband.

Edit: oh I forgot to add, write him steamy naughty letters, and have him return the favor. Matthew and I do that all the time...We create fantasy stories and add on to them back and forth.
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  #4  
Old 02-21-2009, 08:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piercedkitten83 View Post
To me it's a no brainer. I honestly have no feelings for any other man in that way but Matthew. In fact, the thought of hooking up with anyone else repulses me.
I can't explain how I stay faithful - I just do. Because I love him and I know he is so worth the wait.
Having random sex with someone else will just leave you feeling cheap, used and awful in the end. Not to mention it will hurt your husband.
I think you need to ask yourself why you are feeling like you can't stay faithful to your husband.

Edit: oh I forgot to add, write him steamy naughty letters, and have him return the favor. Matthew and I do that all the time...We create fantasy stories and add on to them back and forth.
Exactly how I fell 100%. I couldn't have said it better myself. Staying faithful is actually the easiest part of all of this for me. I can make my own a$$ wet, really don't need a man that don't give a crap about me to do it. Nobody can make love to me the way my baby can...so why settle for less when I can just wait for the best.
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  #5  
Old 02-21-2009, 09:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chellie View Post
Exactly how I fell 100%. I couldn't have said it better myself. Staying faithful is actually the easiest part of all of this for me. I can make my own a$$ wet, really don't need a man that don't give a crap about me to do it. Nobody can make love to me the way my baby can...so why settle for less when I can just wait for the best.
you are soo right!! if being faithful was all it took to have a perfect relationship, marc and I's would be perfect. to me that is soo easy. this thread reminds me of that 80's song by sinead o'connor, "nothing compares to you.."
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  #6  
Old 02-21-2009, 10:06 AM
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Alonzo and I lived together years ago but went our separate ways due to Baby-Mama-Drama and my insecurities and reconnected during his current bid. Since reconfirming our love and becoming engaged the thought of another man even seeing me nude repulses me. I love him with all my heart and that loves makes me want to share my mind, body, heart and soul with HIM and only him. I know in my heart this would hurt him even though he says he would understand and I could never ever hurt him this way. I honestly DO NOT miss sex; I miss HIS LOVEMAKING so even if I were to attempt to satisfy an urge I could never obtain what I really want and need without him...He openly respects and admires my devotion to him and my willingness to wait on him and I never want to lose that respect. We also get very creative with our "bedtime stories" and that and a couple of flicks we made together years ago helps as does the thought of what it will be like once he comes home. Just take it one day (or night) at a time and concentrate on what it will be like once he is free. Best Wishes...Marcia
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  #7  
Old 04-27-2009, 03:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chellie View Post
Exactly how I fell 100%. I couldn't have said it better myself. Staying faithful is actually the easiest part of all of this for me. I can make my own a$$ wet, really don't need a man that don't give a crap about me to do it. Nobody can make love to me the way my baby can...so why settle for less when I can just wait for the best.

This is where I stand too. Bieng faithful to Ramon is literally the easiest part. I've loved him and known he was the man I wanted to marry since I was 17 years old. I will ride or die for him, period. Nobody else in this world can make me feel the way he can in ALL aspects, be it physically, emotionally, mentally...
Why waste my time on someone else when the most amazing, sexiest man I have ever seen will be home soon enough?
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Old 08-08-2009, 07:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chellie View Post
Exactly how I fell 100%. I couldn't have said it better myself. Staying faithful is actually the easiest part of all of this for me. I can make my own a$$ wet, really don't need a man that don't give a crap about me to do it. Nobody can make love to me the way my baby can...so why settle for less when I can just wait for the best.

LOL!! Chellie is a trip!
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Old 08-28-2010, 11:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piercedkitten83 View Post
To me it's a no brainer. I honestly have no feelings for any other man in that way but Matthew. In fact, the thought of hooking up with anyone else repulses me.
I can't explain how I stay faithful - I just do. Because I love him and I know he is so worth the wait.
Having random sex with someone else will just leave you feeling cheap, used and awful in the end. Not to mention it will hurt your husband.
I think you need to ask yourself why you are feeling like you can't stay faithful to your husband.

Edit: oh I forgot to add, write him steamy naughty letters, and have him return the favor. Matthew and I do that all the time...We create fantasy stories and add on to them back and forth.
I loved your reply because that is exactly how I feel especially the thought of another man touching me, Ewww! The more I wait, the more I want him and love him and value him and I can just go on and on! It's unbelievable how strong my love is, something I've never experienced in my life! I will remain faithful always. If girlfriends of inmates don't feel this intense type of love and desire then do what is right and don't break their hearts, let go in all honesty before you cheat.
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Old 07-02-2011, 12:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piercedkitten83 View Post
To me it's a no brainer. I honestly have no feelings for any other man in that way but Matthew. In fact, the thought of hooking up with anyone else repulses me.
I can't explain how I stay faithful - I just do. Because I love him and I know he is so worth the wait.
Having random sex with someone else will just leave you feeling cheap, used and awful in the end. Not to mention it will hurt your husband.
I think you need to ask yourself why you are feeling like you can't stay faithful to your husband.

Edit: oh I forgot to add, write him steamy naughty letters, and have him return the favor. Matthew and I do that all the time...We create fantasy stories and add on to them back and forth.



You said it girl!!!! ditto on that!
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Old 05-17-2012, 04:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piercedkitten83 View Post
To me it's a no brainer. I honestly have no feelings for any other man in that way but Matthew. In fact, the thought of hooking up with anyone else repulses me.
I can't explain how I stay faithful - I just do. Because I love him and I know he is so worth the wait.
Having random sex with someone else will just leave you feeling cheap, used and awful in the end. Not to mention it will hurt your husband.
I think you need to ask yourself why you are feeling like you can't stay faithful to your husband.

Edit: oh I forgot to add, write him steamy naughty letters, and have him return the favor. Matthew and I do that all the time...We create fantasy stories and add on to them back and forth.
Ditto ")
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Old 04-09-2014, 02:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piercedkitten83 View Post
To me it's a no brainer. I honestly have no feelings for any other man in that way but Matthew. In fact, the thought of hooking up with anyone else repulses me.
I can't explain how I stay faithful - I just do. Because I love him and I know he is so worth the wait.
Having random sex with someone else will just leave you feeling cheap, used and awful in the end. Not to mention it will hurt your husband.
I think you need to ask yourself why you are feeling like you can't stay faithful to your husband.

Edit: oh I forgot to add, write him steamy naughty letters, and have him return the favor. Matthew and I do that all the time...We create fantasy stories and add on to them back and forth.
This says exactly how I feel about being faithful to my man Although I have the most intense physical needs, I could not let another man touch me in that way. The physical desire he brings about in me is way, way more than simply the need for sex.

Of course, everyone is different and it's about finding a partner who suits us

Kristilynn: I don't believe that one should stop socialising, etc, in an attempt to reassure an insecure person. When someone has done nothing to trigger that type of insecurity, then the issue is for that person to work through within themselves. Because, as you are already finding out, no matter what you give up in an attempt to help him, it doesn't work. I suppose all you can do is to reassure him as best you can whilst still getting on with your life.
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Old 05-31-2014, 02:26 PM
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Smile hey girls i give you all props for sharing your stories :)

Well as of for me and my now husband we've been struggling through this together. I do admit there was a lot of things going on at some point in our lives and I had giving up on relationship and I broke up with him. Right after breaking up with him I started seeing some other guy although I technically didn't cheat on him it did feel like it. And I didn't feel nothing for that other guy it just made me realize that my now husband is my whole world. And although he his doing 9 years i know I'm going to be strong and faithful because i love him with all my heart and I know that without him nothing would be the same and I know that i wouldn't do it again because i would just feel gross. We are married now and everything is working out just great what helped was being honest to him and I told him everything because I know i couldn't just keep it from him my conscience just wouldn't of left me.


I'LL LOVE HIM FOREVER AND NOTHING WOULDN'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT HIM YES THERE IS TEMPTATIONS AMD STRUGGLES BUT WERE IN IT TOGETHER. AND IM GOING TO STICK BY HIS SIDE FOREVER


And for any negative replies idgaf all I care about is my man and he forgave me and that'sall that matters.
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Old 04-26-2014, 04:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piercedkitten83 View Post
To me it's a no brainer. I honestly have no feelings for any other man in that way but Matthew. In fact, the thought of hooking up with anyone else repulses me.
I can't explain how I stay faithful - I just do. Because I love him and I know he is so worth the wait.
Having random sex with someone else will just leave you feeling cheap, used and awful in the end. Not to mention it will hurt your husband.
I think you need to ask yourself why you are feeling like you can't stay faithful to your husband.

Edit: oh I forgot to add, write him steamy naughty letters, and have him return the favor. Matthew and I do that all the time...We create fantasy stories and add on to them back and forth.
That sounds like a good idea about the steamy letters but are those allowed? How would I find out
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Old 06-10-2014, 04:18 PM
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That sounds like a good idea about the steamy letters but are those allowed? How would I find out
"steamy" letters ARE allowed and my husband appreciates them.
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:07 AM
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Hi, I'm new here and I have read your response. I do believe it is not impossible to wait for someone. I too have meet someone while in prison and it isnt easy but, I do take it one day at a time. I try to keep busy and as long as I hear from him letters or phone it makes it a little easier. But, I have recently come into a twist with him. He has recently acknowlede me of a woman that has been visiting him since befor he met me. He says they are friends he just presented her to me in April. she has recently told him that she has developed more feelings than friends. And he said he made it be known that he is with me and I dont have to worry about her. So, long story shorter he called me and I was giving a neighbor a ride and he just went crazy! Asking questions and making accusations. I dont want to pass the touch and give this other woman a chance even though he says he dont have those type of feelings for her...please give me advice....BOOBOO.....
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Old 08-31-2009, 11:15 AM
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Hi, I'm new here and I have read your response. I do believe it is not impossible to wait for someone. I too have meet someone while in prison and it isnt easy but, I do take it one day at a time. I try to keep busy and as long as I hear from him letters or phone it makes it a little easier. But, I have recently come into a twist with him. He has recently acknowlede me of a woman that has been visiting him since befor he met me. He says they are friends he just presented her to me in April. she has recently told him that she has developed more feelings than friends. And he said he made it be known that he is with me and I dont have to worry about her. So, long story shorter he called me and I was giving a neighbor a ride and he just went crazy! Asking questions and making accusations. I dont want to pass the touch and give this other woman a chance even though he says he dont have those type of feelings for her...please give me advice....BOOBOO.....
Sounds like he got jealous, sexy! But now when somebody flip out it don't really mean a thang but they are trippin cuz they might do something with the neighbor they giving the ride to, or simply he don't want to lose you girl. Just keep doing what you doing to keep your man, it ain't hard to keep somebody as long as you real and ride from the gate even if you fall off let it be long enough to dust your azz off, but now you sound good you got him.
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Old 10-05-2010, 07:56 PM
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Well I don't have much longer to go to wait for my babe but for me it wasen't hard not to cheat on him or anything. I think that when you really love your significant other it doesn't even cross your mind to cheat on him. It didn't even cross my mind. Eventhough I have to admit that sometimes I do wake up and wish I had someone next to me to share my day with, all I could look forward to is the next time I could go to visit him and give him a big hug and a kiss. I think that if you do end up cheating on your man you will end up regretting it.
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Old 11-02-2010, 01:59 PM
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Well I don't have much longer to go to wait for my babe but for me it wasen't hard not to cheat on him or anything. I think that when you really love your significant other it doesn't even cross your mind to cheat on him. It didn't even cross my mind. Eventhough I have to admit that sometimes I do wake up and wish I had someone next to me to share my day with, all I could look forward to is the next time I could go to visit him and give him a big hug and a kiss. I think that if you do end up cheating on your man you will end up regretting it.

I agree. IF YOU REALLY LOVE YOUR MAN YOU WILL NOT GIVE UP YOUR BODY TO SOMEONE ELSE ESPECIALLY WHILE HE'S IN PRISON!!! There's no excuse! Cheat once I wouldn't trust you, forgive you or want to be with your behind either!
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Old 02-20-2009, 09:43 PM
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DzBaby is right. I'm dealing with 2 years too, I think. Havn't found out yet. (But for sure a year or more) IAND IT SUCKS! No sex, no kisses, no nothing for that long! But heres the key help: YOUR MIND. If you want to remain faithful to your man, then you need to tell yourself that YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT. Period. Our minds teach us many things. Just throw all your confidence there and tell yourself it is what you are going to do because you love him. And to be honest, if you really loved your husband, you would wait. I know it's going to be hard (believe me. My mans looking at long time, too) But We can do it. Us woman don't have to have that kinda stuff to keep us alive. We can hold that kind of stuff off for a while. Sex is great..But its even GREATER with him, right? well if so you would wait because it will be all worth it if you do. Trust me.
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Old 06-10-2014, 10:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Waiting4him2371 View Post
DzBaby is right. I'm dealing with 2 years too, I think. Havn't found out yet. (But for sure a year or more) IAND IT SUCKS! No sex, no kisses, no nothing for that long! But heres the key help: YOUR MIND. If you want to remain faithful to your man, then you need to tell yourself that YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT. Period. Our minds teach us many things. Just throw all your confidence there and tell yourself it is what you are going to do because you love him. And to be honest, if you really loved your husband, you would wait. I know it's going to be hard (believe me. My mans looking at long time, too) But We can do it. Us woman don't have to have that kinda stuff to keep us alive. We can hold that kind of stuff off for a while. Sex is great..But its even GREATER with him, right? well if so you would wait because it will be all worth it if you do. Trust me.
I agree its hard. We write alot of naughty naughty XXX type letters and that helps. Also women can seem to go longer without sex then men for some reason. Also i"m like the other poster I can't think about anybody else but him he is all I want.
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Old 02-20-2009, 10:23 PM
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I have to agree with the others that have already posted on this topic. If you really love someone you will wait, no matter if it's 1 day or 20 years. Your heart doesn't choose who it falls in love with, so why would you let your body share yourself with someone other then your husband. Granted we all make mistakes in our life's, and he is having to pay the hard price of that. So why punish him and you more? Isn't it enough that he is locked up and you can't hold him when ever your heart desires? I have a little different twist in all this, I have never made love with my boyfriend Josh, yet have I had the opportunity to even be held by him seems how I met him after he was already in....however I can't ever imagine or dare to even imagine being with anyone else. I don't know how much time he has as of yet seems how he just signed for 6 years and he's done already almost 2. I could and never would ever consider being "unfaithful" to Josh in any way shape or form. I truly love him and in love with him...so if that means I have to way a few more days or even 6 more years for him to come home, I will. He, our children our family and friends are all I want and need. I am blessed to have them as well as the support and love from all of you. Take it one day at a time girl, and be thankful for the time you have had....most of us haven't been that lucky yet! Stay strong and remember we are hear for you! Your not facing this alone!
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Old 02-20-2009, 10:29 PM
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We still have 6 1/2 to go. The physical part obviously is missed but we have come to realize that there is much more to our relationship than that. The mental, emotional, support for each other in our every day lives, has gone to a whole new level. We know each other so well now. We have learned and are still learning what we each "need" from one another during this time and we just do it. We also love to do these things for each other. We spend our time living in the moment really and planning for the future and doing things now for the future which makes our time go by so much faster.
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Old 02-20-2009, 10:38 PM
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My honey has a little less than five years left and already has been in almost four years. It hasn't been hard for me to stay faithful but it has got me depressed on times i'm just wishing I could hold him and sleep with him. I really don't know of any great advice on how to stay faithful because it is just a mindset you gotta have. If you are feeling weak watch what situations you put yourself in and when you are feeling lonely let your man know so he can be the man that is there for you so you don't go looking for that in another man. In your post you said he has two years so i'm sure that if you really love and want to be with him you will be just fine and it will be over with before you know it.
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Old 02-20-2009, 11:07 PM
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I am not going to say the thought of staying faithful for 20 years isn't daunting, but after about 5 or so years, it wasn't so hard anymore. I,and this is MY opinion, think 2 years would be a breeze. I know you don't think you can do it, but trust me, you can! Stay busy, and when the mood does hit you, there ARE ways to take care of it. I know it is not the same, but it DOES help.
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