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Old 02-12-2006, 11:37 AM
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thunder thunder is offline
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Hello everyone.

Some of you might know that I met my friend when I visited the prison w/ my job (1990) for a community outreach initiative. I must admit, at first I was not too impressed w/ him. I thought he was arrogant and pushy. A week after the event, I received a letter from him at my job. I was shocked. I replied b/c I did not want him to think that I thought he was beneath me. Don't ask why this mattered.

Prior to meeting him, he had been in 8 ½ years. Over the course of the years, we communicated via writing only as friends. As the years progressed, we began to exchange feelings of love. Once this occurred, I visited him.

We kept in touched, talked about our feelings our future, etc. Somewhere along the way, I became weary and only focused on the friendship and lessened my visits and correspondences. He always told me that whenever he came home, he would look for me. I thought, yea right. I just knew that I would have been married when he came home, b/c he was looking at an additional 10 years, etc.

During this time I had been in several relationships; however, for some reason, they just did not cut the mustard; even though they had good jobs, well off financially, had their own homes, businesses, etc. I just couldn’t connect and was not interested in marrying any of them.

Well, 12 years later (2002), he was released and he did call. I was surprised when I heard the message, especially when there was no operator in the background.

He was pre-released to a half way house I visited one week after his arrival and we talked as friends. Well, we began to re-connect and decided to start off as friends and see where things would lead us.

What’s so strange about all of this is because a few years prior to meeting him, I attended a singles retreat at my church; only b/c the committee that I was on had sponsored the program. One of the female speakers stated that some of us in the audience would marry men who had been in prison. Man, when she said this, I got so angry b/c I felt the nerve of her and why would she say that to us, b/c she was not providing any hope. I automatically shut her out. She went on to say that we needed to pray our husbands out of prison. I thought, such foolish talk.

A few years after the singles retreat a female minister ran a revival at our church and stated that some of us would marry men that had been incarcerated and that we needed to pray our men out of prison. Talk about seething. Again, I became angry and felt that they were not providing any hope, for why would we want men who had been in prison (this was my thinking before my encounter w/ my friend). She was speaking from experience, b/c she met her husband while he was incarcerated and stated that great men come from prison.

I never thought about those two meetings until a few years ago and had to laugh. :-) Seeing as though I was one of the women in the audience who ended up w/ someone who had been in prison. I was able to inform both of the women that their words had come to life and what I thought about their words when I first heard them. They laughed.

When I look back on things, I realize that God has a great sense of humor and was preserving me for one that he had ordained for me. I have no regrets w/ my choice and am extremely happy that he is in my life. Now, there are days when the man works my nerves, but I love me some him.

I know that he is my soul mate and daily, I thank God for allowing us to me. I often tell my friend that I am grateful for his badness, b/c this is how we met. He has been consistent from the time we've developed our friendship/relationship. He is a man of his word.

He is a wonderful man and I would not change him for anything in the world. When men try to talk to me, I automatically let them know that I am with someone and would not do anything to jeopardize what I have with him. I know that he’s a gift; therefore I am extremely appreciative of what I’ve been blessed with.

Oops, didn’t mean to bore you or post to much but when I saw the thread, it brought out so much in me.

Patty, as always great post. You always provide posts that get us to think; therefore, providing therapy sessions. Girl, I owe you. I know my tab w/ you is over due and high. I'll see you at my next thearpy lesson. You probaly wondering when am I going to get up off this couch. :-) Well as long as he's on parole, I am quite sure I'll always need some type of therapy. :-)

Have a great day everyone.

Last edited by thunder; 02-12-2006 at 11:45 AM..
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