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Old 11-30-2011, 02:30 PM
MsPrettiJackson MsPrettiJackson is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Juni's Jeva

First off, I have to say this is a great Thread. My Love has been in for 15plus and has 15plus left. He's been my best friend for the past 9 years, 2 of those years we've been involved as more than just friends. It's been a "crazy" ride. In the beginning it was harder ironically, that's when I had those "doubts", I didn't want to be waiting for ANYONE. But as I fought that reality I let go and lived the Truth and have felt 1,000 times better about it. My Truth is I am waiting for him. How long can I wait? I truly don't know. I've stopped asking myself that, because its like worrying about what I don't know. I Love him so much its sometimes overwhelming. I live my life, actively. He supports that, I do it all, as much as I can As far as the physical part. I am loyal. I feel like a virgin all over again, so much I think it would be harder for me to be with another man.

One thing that really helps is how much he supports me and my happiness. I don't feel tied down or obligated. I feel "FREE", free to be me....and that means being with him. Do I feel insanely HOT and CRAZED sometimes??? DEFINITELY...but life isn't just about that. He fills me so much and then there's phone sex....and fantasies...and alone time with him...and visits. I never knew how creative we could be during visits.
Just be honest with yourself and him..and PRAY...prayer helps. I pray that I have the patience and faith needed to be there in the "end" of this bid, because he is so perrrfect for me and it would be a shame to lose that over some night of passion.

Also, he is my daughter's daddy and that adds to the commitment we have for eachother. He is one person that will forever be in my life that I can count on. Thanks again for posting all this, because I think I needed to be reminded that I am not alone with these type of questions and doubts.

OH, as far as relationships with other men. Let me just say this, it really falls back on you, on what you can handle or are willing to do. I tried to just be friends with guys, even being honest about where my man was.... all that taught me was that men sometimes get even more fresh knowing your man is locked up and think they can do what they want. It made me miss my man more, want him more...love him more. Coz all that proved was there was no one like him, or could replace him....or substitute for him. But that's me. I can't just make believe. Trust me I tried and guilt and love won't let me do anything but HELLO, if that. lol.
And this thread I started had been therapy for me as well. I now know that I'm not alone and it's other wives that can really relate what I'm going through. And that it does not change our character because we love who we love. My husband @ I fell in love way before he went to jail and now prison. Sometimes we will have ups & downs but more downs cause we want them home with us but HE IS WELL WORTH THE WAIT and he loves me more than I've ever been loved, he gives me that husband type of love and he loves me more but I fall in love with him everyday. So THANK YOU for helping me and reassuring me that I'm doing the right thing by my husband. I can't imagine wasting my new found Virginity other than my husband, so I too will continue to buy and use my toys. But I'm in it to stay and I'm happy with my choice and I love that man!!!!
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