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Old 04-29-2017, 09:10 PM
RBASa RBASa is offline
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: USA
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Default Help with understanding dual diagnosis and romance

I feel a little silly having to post about this because I work in the field and I deal with co-occurring disorders, homelessness and mental health. I am finding it hard to step back and see things clear because I am in the situation.

I work at a harm reduction building where it is low income housing for people with co occurring disorders, usually mental health and addictions. I love what I do. I recently started talking with someone who lives there and I am finding myself to be very drawn to them, they have expressed interest in me and at first I was scared because it so against policy( I have a history of being with people who suffer from addiction, and I myself have personal experience with it) but I can't help but have feelings back.

He is a meth user, he injects it his mom lives 2 doors down from him and he has a ex gf who lives in the building that left him for his cousin 3 years ago....he reached out to me and we have been talking everyday. He occasionally waits for me after work and walked with me to my bus.

then there are days where he will barley say hi, or stop to talk. Always busy going somewhere and I find I'm getting jealous thinking hes with other women, he says h hasn't been with a women in 3 years but I still get jealous. It may sound silly but I wasn't expecting to have feelings.

I am finding myself taking some of the things he is doing personally, he will use with women and I instantly think sex. Or if he doesn't say hi I get upset, he doesn't have the same thoughts as I do I guess. I don't like taking all this personally..i know cant change him and I know I should be looking at myself to understand why I am attracted to him...but I am and I want some clarity on addiction...can they love? is it real? are they unfaithful?

he wrote me a love letter expressing how he wanted to take a chance and see if something could happen even tho odds are most likely that they wont.. and that life is to short to sit back and wait for it to happen. he will give me little gifts ( one of his shirts and a ear ring he thought I would like) I think other people have noticed that were close but it's not sexual, we just get along really well and have great conversations. he will spend all night( sometimes) talking with me. other days he is off on some adventure or hes depressed and withdrawing inwards but still using...

I have read articles about addiction and get mixed advice on what to do, tough love doesn't work but boundaries should be set. Don't just toss them to side..i want to support him and be there for him but I also don't want to get hurt and I find that I am.

thank you
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