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Old 04-26-2015, 11:56 AM
OsunMM5 OsunMM5 is offline
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Default Anger Issues

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and about halfway through, he got picked up on a parole violation and sent away for 4 months. We've actually talked about this very issue and discussed how to diffuse a situation where we are both angry and how we can work together to avoid getting to that point.

I have a temper at times and can be just as hard headed as he can. I've actually done the same thing you have as far as deliberately pushing his buttons. He actually admitted today that I have gotten to him a couple times, which was actually news to me. He's got a very tough, cool demeanor at times and doesn't let his vulnerability show. This gets to me sometimes. (We've talked about this as well. I've told him he doesn't need that wall up with me).

I've only seen him incredibly angry twice and once he was mad at me. I know he wouldn't have done anything, but there was a fire behind his eyes and he was cold, but I was also incredibly angry at him at that time too.

We are working on getting to know each other better and in a more healthy manner now that he's been locked up for 4 months. Even my own therapist, who I started to see after he was locked up, has said that I am doing a wonderful job making the most of this situation.

He should get out any day thankfully. Just waiting on room at the halfway house.

The only thing I can say about the whole thing is having honest and open, non confrontational conversations about tough issues and situations you've experienced is the most important thing you can do for your relationship. We had a very rocky first few months we dated/lived together, but through this experience he's a better person and I am too.

I've truly gotten to love him more and more every day. He's the first person I've ever been able to have these conversations with in this manner and the only person I've ever dated that has listened to the very dark chapters of my life without judgment or making me feel any worse about those chapters than I already do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2qtee View Post
I've known my Sweetie for 9 months today. He has never lost his cool with me and I have intentionally said things to see how he would react. Don't judge him for what he use to be. But also be mindful of the fact that anything can happen....and that's with any relationship. Just give it time. Take it slowly. Trust your instinct.

Last edited by OsunMM5; 04-26-2015 at 11:59 AM..
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