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Old 01-04-2018, 11:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maur27 View Post
I get that you're upset about this. I would be too. But have you at least answered once and told him how you feel about the situation?

I think he deserves an explanation as to why you're not going to be answering his calls for a while.

Let him know that you are not completely done with him, but he needs to reflect on what he wants and that you deserve a man who will take his own life seriously.

Until he does that you won't be in contact and maybe tell him to only call again when he does not have the cell anymore and has stopped smoking.

If you haven't had a conversation like that and have not answered any calls, how will you know. What if has already gotten rid of the cell and stopped smoking? If I recall correctly, you said he still is just calling from the HWH and not the cell phone. So you really don't know at this point if he got rid of the phone.

I don't know... just a thought... Good luck with everything, I hope the best for you. I've read a lot of your posts and you deserve goodness
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oh yes.
we spoke. not long,but we spoke 2x monday, ergo, mi fiancee/bff know why i am not talking to him.
He said "I thought i lost you last time, when you're not answering." That frightens me, I can't lose you. I will change.I am sorry i did this by messing up with getting high, and all the time, day by day night by night ma. Yes. I even went to work a few times high,but they didn't know."My boss is not there but friday/saturday night. I am yes getting high but i need you. Please don't stop talking to me. .I need you.. You're the only"normal in my life."But, i am still working doing"great ma"I love you so much."I did not want to lie about this."So yes, i am getting high, and not doing my programs at all at the HWH."

I (last monday) had answered as i said on a Monday.(Didn't reach me all weekend) yet, when 'working'he usually was calling me daily still(night time from work borrowing so many cell phones, number was not private.) He would call and tell me how work was going/how happy he is with me/how he is so glad "in few months"or less we can do the transfer, etc.al., and again the calls were always from work during week, and NONE on 2 weekends straight, but then he called last monday "explaining"that he still want to give me his "pay checks, for all i've done for him, and he love me 'so much and he is going to keep showing me as said in prison, when he home to give me his pay, for all i've done for him, and been in his life, BEST thing, he has ever met, focus,clean, "very smart"hard working business woman, godly woman, great mom, and best friend to him, the 'only "real friend/real family he has ever had." His own STEP-FATHER(clean)never use drugs said, "IF HE IS BY YOU" he is going to be "OK." Simple as that. .He told his step-pops, "thank you for telling her this over and over because it is true and how he said, "he was happy"i was at the time believing him,and his step-dad, who is no longer with drug addicted bio-mom for 18 yrs." My fiance/bff is damaged.(mentally a long time)then institutionalized since 18 in the big-boy jail, but was making beautiful progress his own counselor said and CO's for years to me, at visit; and again he is damaged and spent YEARS in Seg; SHU (no counseling entire life)in S.H.U., all the time, til me. Yet he found god, and he found me, at the same time, and has been doing so well. I shared much of it here gladly,and empower others by pm and i was happy about that and in public forum a long time.
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I am sad for him,but i know he need help clearly."so yes I DID SPEAK to him, and again last convo was Last Monday or the prior monday,but about 12 or so dys now we have not spoken, because i am afraid if i do, when i do he is going to say same thing, and just "Expect me to always answer his collect call" without any real change on his part. THAT does scare me, because i know deep down he love me,behind his demons, and i do not want to be there "each time when he call me if he is not going to get help/change, and then again people tell me mi familia that, "He might already be doing it, meaning trying to change for you and the relationship you build with him for years, IF you're answering the phone,and he called dozens of time so maybe he is."I don't know,however, yes, i am going to answer. and YES he is calling'from HWH day time only, not at night anymore,"each time."Never the illegal cell phone that he is bought with 1 of his paychecks.(I still DONT' have the number)he said he will call me "from it,and as i said in this thread, he never sent me the number,not once."I told him i do NOT want it at all)however, he still has not called me from it.

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Maur:

tu eres,toca mi corazón esta noche.(i said you touch my heart tonight)with last part of your post.)Yes, i deserve such good and i was always receiving it from him, when he was not around his old "drug addicted biological mother/entire family/bad area where he was so scared(he said this days prior to going back to DE.,)that he was afraid,frightened to go back there. But he said "I will be ok because i have you."So,HWH is only temporary and i will do "all therapy etc. and i will be transferred to our home, where i can start over, when i finish." He always seem to been doing so well, in prison.(He cut em all off knowing they are toxic as his own counselor at James T.Vaughn in Delaware told me, few x a year how "[b]he simply did not want them to visit,[/B confided in her, that they are too "toxic" and will work hard to "ruin"all that is good in his life, finding christ/god, by becoming a christian and then being sent a gift from GOD, and that was me, for so many years."
Now, look at him. I guess it happened. He is weak, even if he told me he is no longer "weak."'He has changed at twenty nine years old, but i know better than that."
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I'm going to pick up,finally, in a day or two. .I had to give it a week or longer and now i have done that. Thanks. and chica i highlighted this, because i agree, and tu eres esta noche toca mi corazon, esta noche gracia muchas muy.(I said, you're touching my heart tonight, by saying that.) and i thank you so much, yes i deserve/will get/will NOT settle for anything but good from a man. Drugs (if only weed)would not make him act this way. I think it is more. and that is a huge fear inward, his mother turned him on to drugs while still a pre-teen child."SMH.

He always said, if i see my biological-mother, i will be destroyed and he said he was not going to see her and that she is not too far from the hwh,and been trying to see him face to face for a while now."Since he been out.He banned her from visits, and found God, became a Christian and him living in the same area for five long months at a HWH is not good and he warn me of "that part."he was scared to go back but said, "I can do it because i know i HAVE YOU,and we will live together after HWH, even in 3 months IF he "complete programs in HWH.But, counselor recently again told me, "He has missed EACH therapy session for substance abuse.Overslept each time, after working night shift or "supposedly working the night shift" at labor place...His counselor said, "You're the only listed as his emergency contact, and he has me as his "wife." All my info she has and he still want to "transfer to my home near DELAWARE."But COUNSELOR said, he has to do his programs,or it will not be approved et.al., nevertheless, i will talk to him, once again.
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Thanks so much for caring. I also no matter what shall continue to give my advice respectfully to others, as i have done. Drugs is really powerful. .I believe him when he said, he is stronger than what"the past had in-store for him when out, " and he can do the hwh time in the same bad hood area that tore him down outside in for a long time since age 12 yrs.young. I think he "tried"to believe that wholeheartedly about stronger than his "past age eighteen and under," and prior to entering the big boy adult prison for 11 years almost, then returning this old hood, and around addicts again etc.al., but in reality?If you're not strong enough to fight your demons with counseling and or without, then it's going to creep up and snatch you back down. This is what has happen to him.I will hear him out because i love him. However, he need help and i hope he get it,before it's too late and lose me and our years together(LAST NOTE)He said, Monday,"I am not losing years with you, all we invested, not going to happen and you think i am "that stupid?"I am not losing you, there is just no way. I messed up but i am not losing you, and i get high but i am not losing you, you will see. You will be "so proud of me again."I will NOT let you down. I will keep you all posted, thank you so much. God bless us all.
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Lead with your MIND + not your heart.
CONSISTENCY,communication"is key.Without action, it just isn't real.


Last edited by a.rare.love; 01-05-2018 at 12:17 AM..
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