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Old 04-03-2018, 07:56 PM
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AndyS AndyS is offline
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Originally Posted by AgaJoanna View Post
This story is ridiculous and pretty damn embarrassing, but I think maybe putting it out there in words will make me snap back to reality.

I'm 287% sure he is using me.

I have a big heart, I love helping others, and I just feel bad for him. I don't know how to say no to someone in need?

This is my ex by the way. (Back story: We dated. He cheated. Continuously. In August of last year I found a text in his phone from his ex that she was pregnant, come to find out in the middle of February she was 5 months pregnant. I know. Fuck them. Aside from that, he is a horrible human being. He meets every single of the 20 items listen on the checklist for Antisocial Personality Disorder.. commonly known as being a sociopath. He is violent, mean, and aggressive. And my God, I have no idea why I even thought this was an okay idea to even get to know him, because I have never met anyone like him. But you can't help who you fall in love with?)

He was arrested a few months ago, for being a complete idiot. Probably shouldn't go into the details since his case is still pending. But we life in California, and this would be his 3rd strike, and he is facing 31 to life. I am pretty sure he is a level 5 inmate (out of 6) for prior assaultive history, being charged with assault, and very likely to attack guards. The thing is though, that I sort of witnessed what happened, and he didn't do anything. He always claims that he did nothing wrong, like ever, but this time he didn't.

I guess I am going through the grieving cycle now? I can't really stick to my decision to peace out quite yet, 100%. I go back and forth. And he writes me these letters like please I need you, begging me for help. He is facing life. How can I turn away from that? When I tell him, he doesn't deserve my help, he says he knows he doesnt put please. What do you say to that? On the other hand, so he didn't do anything this time, but then there is the fact that he gets arrested on average every 3 months.. when we started dating he was arrested at his arraignment for being drunk and resisting arrest, for a felony domestic violence offense from a mysterious ex that I dunno transiently poofed after that. They dropped the charges due to lack of evidence. I can tell you its true, he did it to me. But I really can't press charges against him because I don't want to deal with that. And his "baby momma" is kind of psycho and has threatened my life a few times soooooooo theres that. My point is, he will most likely, be in the same predicament in 6 months, and hopefully not for hurting someone else. I can't in good conscience help him? But like I said. He is a sociopath, and knows what strings to pull. Then there is also the satisfaction of screwing him over after everything he has put me through.

My friends and family don't support this what so ever, or know about it. As far as they are concerned they are glad he is locked up.

Okay, please don't judge too hard? I mean it is pretty obvious that I should just cut the cord. If anyone has some constructive advice, it would be appreciated.


Honestly there really is no constructive advice. You need to cut ties. It doesnít matter if he didnít do whatever hes accused of doing now. He canít pull strings if you cut all contact.

Iím one of those people that think saying you canít help who you fall in love with is an excuse for not being able to extract yourself from an abusive relationship. You might love them but love yourself more. Listen to your family.
A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.

ďAbsorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your ownĒ
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The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to AndyS For This Useful Post:
AgaJoanna (04-03-2018), Ehfraht (04-14-2018), Francis213 (09-23-2018), maytayah (04-03-2018), MissStar (04-15-2018), Sarianna (04-04-2018)