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Old 06-15-2008, 03:12 PM
mom&pop mom&pop is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Washington, USA
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My son lost both appeals but by then was pretty used to getting bad news. When he was first sent to Taft Low here in Cali the guys would call it "dream time", that time when one is still awaiting a decision. Because so few get positive results they all know one has to have the "hope" and the dreams, and when all appeals are exhausted then one can face reality, get over the hump, then make a plan and move forward. But its the making a plan that is important in so many ways.

My son's release date is 2015, and within months of encarceration he decided he would leave prison with "something" to show for it. Fortunately Taft has a distance learning program with the local community college and he has earned an Associates Degree so far and continues to take classes every semester. He is now also enrolled in LSU (Louisiana State Univ) where he intends to keep working towards a Bachelors Degree. He can only hope in some way this will help him upon release, if nothing else it fills the time (so much time!) and makes him feel good about himself.

You are so right Zelda, pictures do so much! Whether your man is saying so or not, I can guarantee the pictures make a difference. I have always made it a point to include pictures on my letters (digital camera/computers are wonderful!), in this way I'm more fully able to share our lives with him. I also print out any he wants to keep in his many and varied albums he keeps (they can purchase photo albums and I know my son often goes thru his). His fiancee sends him pictures of her often (as have friends and other family), in some she glams up and shows a little skin (only whats appropriate and allowed), puts cute statements, & private messages just for him, on the back. Yes, to the books and magazine subscriptions!! Mailcall is the highlite of an inmates day. Even if you don't always feel like a nice long letter, send funny &/or loving cards, postcards, whatever and often. You can find used, inexpensive, but in great condition, books on, or can send paperback yourself in manila envelopes (they can receive 5 at a time at Taft). If you haunt thrift stores/Goodwill stores you can get your books super cheap.

Give him some time, he WILL adjust, he will more forward. He just needs to know you are always there for him, be patient, it IS hard. My sons fiancee left him on two different occasions, but she has been back for a year and a half now, and they are doing great....just 5 more years to go (with good time and rdap)! Best of luck to you both.
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