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Old 04-11-2016, 11:02 AM
prisonlady prisonlady is offline
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I agree that it is ultimately impossible to control an uncooperative adult (and, by the way, that she's probably going to do prison). However (once she's out, or course), it may be possible to remove the immediacy and last-moment scheduling from the picture. If she has to go out just to make a phone call and this costs her money, it may be harder to get in touch with someone to get drugs or to have sex. It's possible, but it takes some planning and if returning a message takes a day, it may not be very practical. Besides, if you get a house line, preferably of the type that cannot be removed from the wall, let her apply for jobs online or edit and print her résumé on the computer, and buy her more books than she can possibly read or access to online services such as Scribd, how can she explain the need to go to the library or somewhere else for what she can get at home?

Of course, she can leave when she's alone at home, and it may not seem reasonable to just not give her the house key. It may not even be possible if she's the official tenant. But having things at home would make it odd and open the door to questions such as what exactly she did or got there. Besides, if she wants to leave while you are available to accompany her, you can "offer" to come as well, or go look for her wherever she is supposedly going to be. You can do grocery shopping as a couple (unless you can just get everything delivered), which is nice and also removes one opportunity to get a little time and money.

But then, is living in this kind of relationship really worth the trouble?
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