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Old 01-21-2019, 11:52 AM
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Default We need more former inmates to see this

Quote:
Originally Posted by lizlizzie2 View Post
My son went into the system when he was 22. He had only been living with me for 8 months before being arrested as he was on probation out of another state where he had finished high school. So basically, he hadn't lived with me since he was 16. He visited on and off. So all that time, he was still a child to me.

Since he will be 29 when he gets out next spring, he is an adult. He has had some positive mentors in prison, for which I am grateful. He will be drug free on the outside for the first time since he was 12. But, he will have been in prison and missed out on all those things that we each go through in becoming and independent adult.

He will be living with me and we will have a rental agreement for house cleaning and maintenance at 20 hours per month and cash for half the utilities. I will provide him with a computer. I will buy a used car for which he will get a loan and pay me back. He will be responsible for his own food, health care, clothing, gas, insurance, cell phone.

My BIG QUESTION is how do I treat him as an adult? It is a sudden change from child to prison to 29 year old man. What do I need to be careful of? How do I know the difference between being a mom and telling him what to do vs letting him figure it out for himself when he lacks the experiences of everything from smart phones to streaming TV to filing income taxes.

I am presuming the parole department will set some rules, like no alcohol, curfew and others that will simply be annoying but part of the system. So hopefully, I won't have to police him going to work and coming home much for the first year. But, if anyone has suggestions and experiences - please start sharing them.

I am posting this here because I am hoping there are some of you who have been in my son's place and can tell me what is most annoying and what is most helpful.
Liz, would you mind re-posting this in another spot where former inmates would be more likely to see it? (Also, please let me know if you do so I know where to look!) I have no idea where would be a better place, but I am very interested in seeing their responses. I kind of accidentally hijacked your thread too. Sorry!
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