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Old 08-08-2017, 11:57 PM
Rickyschick805 Rickyschick805 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Ventura County Calif USA
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Default God willing i will have 5 yrs clean &sober AGAIN on 11-15-17

@Rhianon;7650906 I am an addict...have been for 35+ yrs and I wish I had a mother who cared like u do...I spent a total of 8+ yrs in custody (state and county) and no matter what I do or how long I stay clean, I can't get one of those days back. This creates a whole lot of regret and guilt...kids grew up while I was gone and my peers went on with "normal" lives. I got old and have had to reestablish all of my personal relationships (those that were repairable anyway...I am 52 yrs old and I have almost 5 yrs clean again...I am alone in the world while the man I love is in prison for the next 14 yrs...I have no 401 k and my people hardly speak to me anymore. So yes, there is a lifetime of things I wish I had done differently. It is actually a step of the 12 step programs to list those mistakes and bad choices and to own your part in it all. It is absolutely essential for your son to take an honest look at all the wreckage he has created, feel it, own it, make amends where he can, and then release it...otherwise he is doomed to repeat those things that broke his heart. This process is not for you or those he has wronged...it's for him. He's gotta walk thru the shit in order to let go of it. Let him cry. Let him vent. Let him say how sorry he is...then let him know that u still love him and are in his corner. I never got this from my folks, and I believe it has made my journey longer & harder. I send u prayers for peace for your son AMD your family...hang in there and u may someday meet the son you always knew he could be.
Kelley aka Ricky's chick805 QUOTE=tglsmom;7650906]My son has been in prison for 10 years with two more to go. He called this morning and said that he was going through old letters and some things from the past. He was overwhelmed with guilt and shame for whatís he put everyone through and had a major crying spell. Heís felt like this before, but never to this degree that I know of. Not being an addict myself, the best I could offer him was that it was good to get it all out but that he needed to let go and put the past in the past. Now I wonder if that was even helpful. I would appreciate any tips or ideas on how I can offer better advice or, better yet, what tips you might offer him on how to let go. Btw, heís involved in SAP and Iím sure theyíre addressing this problem, but I donít know to what degree. I really appreciate any feedback you can offer. Thanks.[/quote]
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SeekingJoy (03-14-2018), tglsmom (08-09-2017)