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Old 01-02-2018, 12:44 AM
Anna7 Anna7 is offline
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Oh, honey ... if only I knew in my early 20’s what I know now about domestic violence. What I’ve learned thru the years is how to spot the red flags from a mile away. If I detect even the slightest whiff of abusive behavior, that recognition of it does away with that “lovin’ feeling” quite nicely, on my part. Why? Because I’ve learned that kind of behavior does not go away, and is in itself an insult to me. I’ve learned how it starts with seemingly “not-so-serious” behavior, like a very subtle put-down. Or blocking you from walking a few steps away from the abuser, even if he doesn’t touch you. Or calling you an ugly name. I know that it only escalates, and intensifies, even if it takes a little time for that to happen. Whenever someone shows you any behavior characteristic of DV, no matter how “slight,” and you don’t end the relationship right then and there, you’ve taught the person that it’s ok to go further with more abuse. Abusive behavior is the ultimate turn-off for me, and fortunately, once that behavior shows up I’m just not interested anymore. Abusers are definitely a class unto themselves, and not everyone belongs in that class .. there are folks, men and women who I’ve known for years, decades, who I’d never dream of putting in that class of folks, simply because they’ve never exhibited the slightest sign of abusive behavior to me. You are a smart girl, and I hope it doesn’t take you years to realize these things like it did me. They don’t change. They really don’t. A person is either capable of demeaning abuse of others, or they’re not.
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