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Old 12-12-2014, 10:00 PM
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EmsGirl EmsGirl is offline
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I have a few, honestly. I am not worried about him reoffending, because I know he won't. I am, however, worried about him being hurt inside, or getting a longer sentence because he had to defend himself. I am also worried, like many of us, that he won't come back to me.
We have had a rocky relationship as it is...on his side, anyway...and I don't know if I can trust what he is saying now as what he truly feels, or if it's just "prison talk". He cheated on me once, 4 years ago, and hasn't since..so I'm not real worried about that. But we have had fights over the years and he would tell me that he doesn't want to be with me and that I am no longer the woman he sees himself marrying. Now that he is in prison, he keeps telling me that he realized what he has with me and that he took me for granted, and he knows that I am who he wants to be with for the rest of his life, even going as far as referring to me as his wife to his "friends" in there. But do I believe him, after everything we have been through? Or is he playing me? I am the only one writing him and sending him money/books/etc., so sometimes I feel like he is just using me. And, he is in there for 4-5 years, depending on "good behavior", and I don't know if I should....or even want to....wait that long for him to get out, because I am worried he is going to pull the same routine with the "you're not the woman I see myself marrying" crap.
I have expressed this concern to him and he basically told me that if I can't trust and believe him, then we should just end it now. This is really taking a toll on me, mentally and physically. I am going to visit him this weekend, so maybe I will feel better after seeing him again (we haven't seen each other since he self surrendered 2 1/2 months ago ).

My other fear is life after prison. I know it's going to be hard...but I have no idea how hard it's going to be, and I am worried we won't be able to make it financially.
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