View Single Post
Old 01-16-2020, 10:14 PM
Born's Avatar
Born Born is offline
Registered User

Join Date: Nov 2019
Location: between two countries
Posts: 413
Thanks: 231
Thanked 310 Times in 193 Posts

Originally Posted by WaitingWilkes View Post
They change inside. We change out here. Growing apart is a real problem unless you find a way to grow together.
Growing apart is what i fear the most. My husband and i will only have letter writing for communication.

At the moment my husband is on house arrest and will be going in any time now.

We are working very hard on trying to organize everything for him for when he gets out so that he has an easy transition when he gets out and goes to the halfway house. We are trying to learn everything we can about the prison system, pay all his Attorney bills, Credit Card Bills, Taxes etc so as his credit rating doesn't take a hit. Considering everything in the us is heavily relied on credit history and ratings.

I've had to with a heavy heart relinquish my green card and move back overseas because i don't drive and have no family or friends in the states for any type of support. We live in rural USA and i cannot get around nor do i have any medical insurance should i need it. I'm a city girl and find living in the states very hard without public transport.

At the moment i'm calling him everyday and we talk for 5 hours or more. pretty soon we won't have that. We are trying very hard to talk about our future and about starting over again. I'm finding it hard because he was supposed to move overseas with me but now because of his incarceration and for the length of time he's to spend behind bars that will never happen.

The sad truth about his case is that he never did the crime that he's been accused of and even though we've given proof of such to his attorney to prove my husbands innocence and even though we had witnesses to corroborate his innocence and whereabouts, for some reason his defense attorney chose not to show it nor to pursue it as he's friends with the prosecution Attorney and had worked along side the prosecution Attorney when he was still a public prosecutor for the courts. In other words the defense and prosecution cut a deal between them and coerced my husband into taking a plea.

I am worried for his health and safety and what being behind bars will do to him and what it will do to me being in another country and not being able to see or visit with him. My health isn't the best at the moment and i'm on a waiting list for surgery and to get it all sorted out . Even still i'm not sure that i'll be alive by the time he gets out and if i am i'll be too fragile to travel. This time of our life is meant to be our senior years, we should be spending these years together and creating happy memories not morning each others loss. I also worry about him wanting to break up when he gets inside due to the fact that he doesn't want to burden me along with him. He's already stated on several occasions that he wouldn't hold it against me if i were to cut him lose.

How on earth can you give up on a person that you love? how can you leave the love of your life to defend for themselves when the going gets tough? Especially when he has no one other than you as his family. For anyone to abandon someone whom they say they love would be inhumane. At least that's what i believe. The other problem was that i moved over to the US to marry and be with my husband. I gave up alot by making that move both financially and socially to go live in a rural area because i loved him. Now I'm not sure that that love is enough for me to go through that all over again.

I'm no longer willing to sacrifice my happiness and comforts to go back to rural living. I've already told him that when he gets out it will have to be him doing the sacrificing this time and will have to move to a city.
Reply With Quote