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Old 06-04-2018, 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted by RoninXavier View Post
[...] But I do think she is projecting from her past experience and I'm just the one having to deal with her past issues with men, from physical and emotional abuse, to rapes to infidelity.

And even before she went in, I've been trying to gain her trust. So she tries to find even the most miniscule thing to show her " oh he's just another asshole" . But when she really can't find a reason I think she gets frustrated in admitting that not all guys are cheaters and assholes.
Originally Posted by RoninXavier View Post
It was never like this before jail. It was good I mean really good. Our life was amazing. It seems like something popped up after like something buried.
It seems like it was like this before she went in, it's just magnified now that all of the shiny things of life outside have been stripped away.

When people point to their past and say things like "everyone is an asshole" or "everyone leaves eventually", at some point that person has to realize that the only common denominator in those situations is them. Any chance those "assholes" also got the third degree whenever she felt the need to lash out?

Look-- I had an ex who also had an "everyone leaves" attitude. In the beginning he was like this sweet guy who just got sh*t on by everyone and I couldn't for the life of me understand why he had such bad luck. Rotten childhood, lying exes. The whole nine. About six-nine months in, his drinking dominated our life together. A year in I had become "too emotional" for him. Two years in he was screaming at me and had hoarded my house until I had one room left of my own things. When I broke it off, he stalked me and threatened suicide so I might "finally get it". But in between those moments, he was a loving, fragile person who could say and do the nicest things.

I ran into his previous wife in the store after we'd been apart a while. I'd met her once before. I told her we weren't together anymore and her response? "I'm so glad you survived". Turns out our ex in common was quite habitual-- she'd been told the same stories, the same guilt trips, dealt with his addiction. He hadn't changed one bit between the time he manipulated her to the time he'd moved on to me.

Point being-- sometimes people get stuck in a story line so long that they live to perpetuate it. The bodies of the characters around them change, but inevitably they will cast them into the roles they know best. You can't fix that. But you will pay for it.
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