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Old 11-08-2017, 04:13 PM
yourself yourself is offline

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I read this the first time and thought, boy, I can hear the yearning of the OP for things to be different, for this to act as a wake-up call that the defendant needs, and that he will be sober, clean, and by her side when she gives birth. I can hear it.

It's not going to happen. Prepare for that; it's not going to happen.

As to what his sentence will be? Dunno. Do know that in the states where I work, he would be doing time for felon in possession. The Feds go after guys for felon in possession as well.

Like glass said, he's done a lot in the 6 months he's been out, and most of it to show that he really needs to be inside as he doesn't want to change. At least for now. I'd also wager you're doing more to get him out right now than he is. Is he doing AA/NA meetings in jail? Is he calling about putting more and more money on his books (an indication that he's using in the jail)? Is he trying to organize character letters from jail? Is he doing what he can in jail to find appropriate treatment/counseling? Does he even have a list of aa/na meetings in his area for when he gets out and a plan for staying clean and sober, getting employed, etc?

Look, I'm going to be an ass about this. I'm an attorney. I'm also the sister of an addict/alcoholic. My brother has been doing this dance for more than 30 years, though he was bright enough to never do it as a felon in possession. He also did most of his heavy lifting before Mandatory Minimums, and is now just doing small stints for simple possession, DUI, and crap like that (may he never harm another person with his vehicle).

As a sister of an addict/alcoholic, I know how much you hope and pray that adequate support and treatment is the course of action.

As an attorney, I know that it almost always takes more than one shot at treatment for them to get clean and sober. The average is something like 8 or 9. Let that sink in a bit. Now parole, judges, prosecutors all know that it takes that many shots at getting clean and sober for a person to get clean and sober (generally). They look at those statistics and they don't want to waste treatment beds on people who are not ready, even if they have people on the outside who are ready for him to get clean and sober.

the most frustrating thing about this for a sister is that I've seen my brother time and again go to treatment and then blow it off the moment the courts are off his back. Family? He can smooth talk his way back into treatment, at least he used to figure, when he surfaced again, using, drinking, broke, in debt, people pissed off because he stole from them, and just generally being a using moron whose addiction is speaking louder than he can or is willing to try.

6 months - that is quite a laundry list of reasons why the court won't cut him a break, and that's without considering the rest of his record.

Breathe deep. Control what you can control. Make sure your baby is born happy and healthy and you have the support you need as a new mother. Start going to AlAnon meetings in your area - those are free meetings for loved ones of addicts and alcoholics. You'll learn a ton about addiction and alcoholism, and some stuff that will be practical as well - what treatment options are available. Further, you'll learn the warning signs that he's using again, even in jail or prison. You'll be able to find an attorney to address the family law issues as well as the issues particular to using parents, like what to do if he shows up demanding visitation while intoxicated. You'll need the support of a group like that when he comes out, especially since it is likely that your child will still be a minor.

It has taken me a long time to actually respond to your thread because this is such a difficult situation and it strikes so close to home. You have a tough road ahead of you. Get as much support lined up for you and your child as possible. This is the first call to order.
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