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-   -   Conjugal visits (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=720414)

WaitingWilkes 11-08-2019 02:09 PM

Conjugal visits
 
Plenty of countries including some in middle and south America as well as a dwindling number of U.S. states permit conjugal visits. Given the opportunity, would you take advantage of them if you could? If not, why?

Visitor611 11-08-2019 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WaitingWilkes (Post 7800789)
Plenty of countries including some in middle and south America as well as a dwindling number of U.S. states permit conjugal visits. Given the opportunity, would you take advantage of them if you could? If not, why?

It would take me about 3 seconds to take advantage. Irritating the state to the north and the state to the south both have them. The worst is going to bed alone every night. I would do many bad things to have one night with my wife.

miamac 11-08-2019 03:04 PM

We have them in our state and they are hands-down a valued privilege. One, thanks to a hair-splitting regulation, we could not participate in. But had we been permitted, yes, I would have been there. It's expensive-- essentially you're on a no-host stay. Haul all your items in including food and drinking water, haul them out 47 hours later. I would have done it, though, because our time together is so limited. It would have been nice to have that window of semi-normalcy that most couples have. Watching a movie together, preparing what passes for a meal. We all acknowledge how much the little things mean to us and this one would have held so many. But, it wasn't in the cards for us. Our first Family Visit will be his release day.

WaitingWilkes 11-08-2019 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miamac (Post 7800798)
We have them in our state and they are hands-down a valued privilege. One, thanks to a hair-splitting regulation, we could not participate in. But had we been permitted, yes, I would have been there. It's expensive-- essentially you're on a no-host stay. Haul all your items in including food and drinking water, haul them out 47 hours later. I would have done it, though, because our time together is so limited. It would have been nice to have that window of semi-normalcy that most couples have. Watching a movie together, preparing what passes for a meal. We all acknowledge how much the little things mean to us and this one would have held so many. But, it wasn't in the cards for us. Our first Family Visit will be his release day.


Sorry you aren't able to have them because of some sort of administrivia.

miamac 11-08-2019 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WaitingWilkes (Post 7800801)
Sorry you aren't able to have them because of some sort of administrivia.

I was, too, for several years. Bitter, actually, when they threw the gates open to virtually all but us. But really...I'm happy that they're available and I'm happy for my friends/wives who get that time with their partner as I hope that they are happy for us when we have a celebratory moment. This is already a tough road, no need to make it harder by being envious. I do hope one day they allow for case reviews to make it less arbitrary, but for now, that's where they stand.

Ricoluv29 11-08-2019 03:41 PM

Although I would love them, I think its better not to have them.

WaitingWilkes 11-08-2019 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miamac (Post 7800802)
I was, too, for several years. Bitter, actually, when they threw the gates open to virtually all but us. But really...I'm happy that they're available and I'm happy for my friends/wives who get that time with their partner as I hope that they are happy for us when we have a celebratory moment. This is already a tough road, no need to make it harder by being envious. I do hope one day they allow for case reviews to make it less arbitrary, but for now, that's where they stand.


A lot of rules and the applications of them are arbitrary. You're right about not letting what happens inside eat your brain.

Ms Sunny 11-08-2019 04:10 PM

I think they are wonderful for children to have some human time with an incarcerated parent. Good for the mental health for all involved.

WaitingWilkes 11-08-2019 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms Sunny (Post 7800807)
I think they are wonderful for children to have some human time with an incarcerated parent. Good for the mental health for all involved.


The only bad aspect is they're so rarely available.

studebaker71 11-08-2019 06:56 PM

I'd pay 5000$ to get a night with my girl right now.

trauma4us 11-09-2019 12:07 PM

For me, my LO is my son. My grandson would give anything to spend more time with his Dad. As adults we can deal with the loss of companionship and love, etc., but for the children, they are often the very innocent victims.

WaitingWilkes 11-09-2019 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trauma4us (Post 7800878)
For me, my LO is my son. My grandson would give anything to spend more time with his Dad. As adults we can deal with the loss of companionship and love, etc., but for the children, they are often the very innocent victims.


Families suffer without being guilty of anything.

WaitingWilkes 11-09-2019 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by studebaker71 (Post 7800814)
I'd pay 5000$ to get a night with my girl right now.


Show me where to pay my $5000! :thumbsup:

WaitingWilkes 11-09-2019 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ricoluv29 (Post 7800803)
Although I would love them, I think its better not to have them.


Why do you feel that way?

kellydavid410 11-09-2019 03:26 PM

I wish we had conjugal visits. It would make things a lot easier knowing we can spend that kind of time together doing couple stuff

WaitingWilkes 11-09-2019 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kellydavid410 (Post 7800902)
I wish we had conjugal visits. It would make things a lot easier knowing we can spend that kind of time together doing couple stuff


Being able to have private conversations that last as long as we want to talk would be high on our list of "couple stuff." So would enjoying the sensation of lying in each other's arms without saying a word.

Kimimi 11-10-2019 09:51 PM

This always makes me laugh. My boyfriend said that at one point it was brought to a vote to the inmates Oregon inmates could have conjugal visits or television. They voted for television. He swears it’s true!

WaitingWilkes 11-11-2019 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kimimi (Post 7801060)
This always makes me laugh. My boyfriend said that at one point it was brought to a vote to the inmates Oregon inmates could have conjugal visits or television. They voted for television. He swears itís true!


WOW! They must get much better shows than I do!!!

studebaker71 11-11-2019 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kimimi (Post 7801060)
This always makes me laugh. My boyfriend said that at one point it was brought to a vote to the inmates Oregon inmates could have conjugal visits or television. They voted for television. He swears itís true!

Maybe a bunch of these guys not married! The rules for that are so strict TV is all the time too! Nice to make them "choose" hahahaha

valliz 11-11-2019 05:27 PM

Going to get my first family visit in February. So nervous!

fbopnomore 11-11-2019 05:59 PM

There is a MSNBC Channel episode of the Lockdown series, "San Quentin Extended Stay: The Conjugal Visit" that showed the procedure from the gate to the apartment.
https://www.msnbc.com/lockup/watch/l...t-251286083963

WaitingWilkes 11-12-2019 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valliz (Post 7801153)
Going to get my first family visit in February. So nervous!


I'm envious! I hope all goes well. Please drop a line about it afterward.

Visitor611 11-12-2019 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valliz (Post 7801153)
Going to get my first family visit in February. So nervous!

What I wouldn't do to cuddle my wife free from the eyes of a CO.

Here is the list:

(Nothing)

valliz 11-12-2019 10:14 PM

I'll let you guys know how it goes

valliz 11-12-2019 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Visitor611 (Post 7801246)
What I wouldn't do to cuddle my wife free from the eyes of a CO.

Here is the list:

(Nothing)

do they not offer it where u are


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