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Tested Love 01-11-2007 08:24 PM

(Un) vs Protected Sex - which do you prefer?
Which do you prefer?? And why??

For some reason, baby has it stuck in his head that we are no longer using protection when he comes home. Lately, he speaks of going "bare" and I'm like WTH??? The last time I trusted a man on that level...I ended up with a STD. Luckily it was cureable, but I vowed that I would never take myself through that again. It took a toll on me emotionally. I've never mentioned the STD thing to baby, and I'm sort of afraid to because I don't want him to see me in another light.

Does whether you have (un)protected sex with a man or not equate to how much you care for him? If your man expected that from you...what would you do?

How in the world do I handle this????

Leanne0106 01-11-2007 08:29 PM

I NEVER had unprotected sex until my man and I started to try for children. He's been the only one to go in "bare".

Melissa_2006 01-11-2007 08:34 PM

I didn't vote because with my man after 12 years we don't use protection. When he comes home he will be tested and then we will continue "bare". If it were anyone else I defiantly would protect myself!!!

Wobabi 01-11-2007 08:41 PM

do you plan on marrying him and having kids?

Tested Love 01-11-2007 08:56 PM

I already have a toddler by the fool who gave me the STD. He has two kids by a chick.

So do I plan to marry him and have his babies??

I sure would like to. I'd love to. Eventually.

bookieworm2000 01-11-2007 09:41 PM

My son is the one in prison, so this doesn't apply to me. But, there is no way I would have unprotected sex with anyone I would not want to get pg. without knowing that the relationship would work before I worried about bringing a baby into this world to end up raising alone. Children are innocent. Just my opinion

JoshsGirlforeva 01-11-2007 10:02 PM

Well with my man and I we have never used anything, I git my tubes tied after I had my last child so that is protection enough for me.

Jokerz Mija 01-11-2007 10:10 PM

Shittttt we havin babies when he comes home :) bring on the bareback! LOL

Terra 01-11-2007 10:30 PM


Which do you prefer?? And why??

I prefer unprotected sex. The reason why, is I've been with my b/f for a long time. When we first started seeing each other we used protection.


Does whether you have (un)protected sex with a man or not equate to how much you care for him? If your man expected that from you...what would you do?

How in the world do I handle this????

I don't believe using protection or not has anything to do with how much you care for the man.

I'd just explain to him you feel better using protection. I don't believe you need to go into the details of once having an std, not unless you are still infected, then I'd say, tell him.

keytwo 01-11-2007 10:45 PM

It is a personal choice. I used protection with my man before he went in and I will not when he gets out. I worry about what I have done over the 10 years before I worry about him.

venicespirit 01-11-2007 10:48 PM

For everyone that is set on not bagging when their man gets out - Don't be foolish - Protect yourself and make him test first!

L2LUBOO 01-11-2007 10:51 PM

We won't use protection simply because were married if something happens (getting pregnant) its whatever and secondly because we are only sleeping with each other so I don't intend to contract an STD. However, if it were anyone else we would definetly be protected. You really never know now a days so it is better safe then sorry.

luvnmyinmate 01-11-2007 11:15 PM

I know my man doesn't need to be tested because he is not into sex with other men. He was negative when he went in and he'll be negative when he gets out so no, not using anything.

shyshy24 01-11-2007 11:21 PM

If you both love each other that shouldn't matter, but if you tell him and he makes a big deal about but you still want to get married try going to see a doctor together to talk about risks and stuff like that.

sillyj 01-11-2007 11:50 PM

I certainly prefer unprotected, it's more enjoyable for both of us. Right now, we just use condoms the week I ovulate while he waffles for a few more years on havin' another kid. (it's my friend in prison, not my man, but I just thought this was an interesting question!) But if he was just getting out of prison, he'd have to cover that thing every time til he got tested. It's not just having sex with other men. You can share body fluids in other ways, like tattooing, or theoretically, even by sharing a razor. He didn't argue with me about testing when we first decided to be exclusive before we got married, so I don't think he'd argue if he was fresh outta prison. Hell, he'd be running to the clinic as fast as he could so we could get back to bareback! LOL

It ain't about how much you love each other, it's about being real, and taking care of yourselves so that you can have a nice, long, healthy life together.

LongHaul 01-12-2007 12:03 AM

We are married, and want more kids. There will be no protection, unless you count kneepads...

_lostinlove 01-12-2007 12:59 AM

WOW. Me and my ex used to have unprotected sex when we were together. He was always getting tested so I trusted him. The thing about it is, I never saw his results for myself. I just went by what he told me. So when we broke up I decided to take an hiv test and I was so scared and paranoid while I was waiting for my results. I kept thinking "what if?'' like ''what if he cheated and I didn't know about it? ''what if he contracted something and gave it to me?'' I was a mess!! I know two different females that caught aids and hiv from their husbands that they loved and trusted so much. One of them died a few years ago from aids. That's what scared me. My results were negative and I felt so relieved!! My doctor told me its best to use condoms even if you're married. I'm too scared to go bare like that again. I want to have kids but damn!

LongHaul 01-12-2007 01:07 AM

You're right - WOW. What a world we live in, a place where doctor's are advising married patients to practice safe sex. How very sad. I'd rather die of AIDS then live in fear.

niesha05 01-12-2007 01:08 AM

I prefer unprotected but thats how my son came along. So when he gets home it will be protected

_lostinlove 01-12-2007 01:59 AM

Longhaul, I'm scared of aids because I knew somebody that died from it, I was close to her and I'm a sensitive person in general. Alot of things scare me. Do you think it's wrong for a doctor to say that? I was shocked when he said it, but I see where he's coming from.

FrankysBaby 01-12-2007 08:53 AM

We havent used condoms in like 10 years. We were trying to have children before he went in and will pick up where we left off. Using a condom should not equate if you love him or not. If you dont plan on marrying and having children right away then I would say to definitely use one.

Wobabi 01-12-2007 08:56 AM


Originally Posted by LongHaul
We are married, and want more kids. There will be no protection, unless you count kneepads...

LOL,,Long,,I thought I was the only one,,,dudes at work keep asking,,, where are the kneepads??
Me---> I dunno :cool:

allenwood 01-12-2007 09:08 AM

As far as feeling goes - unprotected, all the way! I mean I guess if I was gonna sleep around, I'd be more careful, but I'm not & if he is, an STD is the least of our troubles!

The bottom line is if you're not comfortable, don't do it.

LeBeau 01-12-2007 09:30 AM

Unprotected sex is great for people in a totally monogamous relationship, both of whom have been tested for STDs TWICE and been given clean bills of health.
Without both certainty of monogamy and clear testing results, I would never recommend "riding bareback". The risks are far greater than the slight difference in sensation.

Onelove250 01-12-2007 11:43 AM

When my bf and I first started dating we used protection. He did cheat on me a couple of times in the beginning, but he always used protection. I'm the only girl that he's never used protection with, same for me. Once we became mongamous (sp?) we stopped using protection but, I remained on my birth control cause we weren't ready for any little ones. When he comes home he will be tested because he has gotten tatoos in their, but after that it's on! No protection, I'm going to get back on my birth control about a month before he comes home and after about 6 months or so I'll go off it and we are going to start trying to have babies! We can't wait but, we want to have some time for just us before we start having children.

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