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-   -   Worried that he may turn violent toward you? (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=520754)

squeakyswife 12-31-2010 04:57 PM

Worried that he may turn violent toward you?
 
Do you ever worrry that he might turn violent with you? My man is in there for murder he has a history of losing his temper. Yet none of his charges are against women or children. My friends and family are worried about this. we met while he was incarcerated so i never knew him on the streets. so my question is should I be worried.

chiwichita 12-31-2010 05:10 PM

You should listen to your friends and families concerns. My ex was verbally abusive but never physical for about the first 5 yrs. we were together. Then he turned physical towards me. It's not something you ever want to happen to you. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to get over in my life. And believe me I've had to deal with alot. You should try and educate yourself on domestic violence issues. There's an excellent book out called "How to Spot A Dangerous Man" by Sandra Brown. A must read if you're worried about him maybe becoming violent. All the Best to You!

BlondeAmbition 12-31-2010 05:36 PM

If he is good to you and has never given you cause to worry, then why worry? I am an MWI also and my man is in on a VO, but I have never ever ever worried that he might hurt me. He is the calmest, sweetest, most patient guy I have ever met. If the very thought that he'd become violent towards me ever crossed my mind, I would not be with him!

Mr. Gz Wifey 12-31-2010 05:43 PM

My ex was extremely abusive...mentally, emotionally,verbally & physically. There were times that I would wish he would just kill me. This is somebody everybody thought was the nicest guy in the world...and still does.
I am not trying to scare you...but don't fool yourself...if you are thinking about this already, you know you have a reason to be scared. Think about it, I'm not saying he can't change, but bad habits are hard to break.

scd123 12-31-2010 05:50 PM

If I were worried, I'm not sure I would be with my guy. He knows I would kick his ass anyway. Lol

GARCIA707 12-31-2010 07:08 PM

There is a thread in the met while incarcerated section of ths website i jus read yesterday wher the woman was in love with her mwi and wen he got out he tried 2 kill her..She said she put it as a warning 2 other mwi women. Its a trip u should check it out...

mom2qtee 12-31-2010 08:16 PM

I've known my Sweetie for 9 months today. He has never lost his cool with me and I have intentionally said things to see how he would react. Don't judge him for what he use to be. But also be mindful of the fact that anything can happen....and that's with any relationship. Just give it time. Take it slowly. Trust your instinct.

lil peep 12-31-2010 09:58 PM

Should you be worried? We can't really tell you that since we don't know your guy. But if I had concerns about my guy ever hurting me or my daughter, I wouldn't be with him. He's labeled as a VO, but honestly it didn't make me second guess him. Listen to your gut though. If something feels wrong, then it probably is.

Hisoneandonly 12-31-2010 10:06 PM

My husband is a VO, he has had huge temper problems in the past. I"ve known him since we were 13 though and never once when we have fought, and we used to fight like cats and dogs has he ever raised his hand to me...I can't say that about a few of the guys I have dated...but I have never EVER been scared of my husband.

kindergirl 01-01-2011 10:34 AM

I am not the least bit concerned. If I thought for a moment that he would do something, I would leave his a$$ exactly where I found him.

kattylynx 01-01-2011 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squeakyswife (Post 5863789)
Do you ever worrry that he might turn violent with you? My man is in there for murder he has a history of losing his temper. Yet none of his charges are against women or children. My friends and family are worried about this. we met while he was incarcerated so i never knew him on the streets. so my question is should I be worried.

My man is in for murder also and I have no doubt in my heart and soul he would never find reason to hurt me out of anger! Men are generally agressive and in that environment they have to do what they need to survive...but their heart is what will give you the knowlege that you are safe...If you question his heart and question the man you have gotten to know then you should worry because you are questioning it for a reason. If you know in your heart your man is a real man and would Love you and charish you like you deserve than ignore the talk and Love him with all you have.

mrscaldwell 01-03-2011 01:39 PM

my husband is in for murder and ive never been scared of him i also met him after he started his bid.... but everyone has said ohhh he will get out and kill u..... but i just let them talk bc i know him better than that and i never wouldve intertained his conversation or married him if i thought he could hurt me!

squeakyswife 01-04-2011 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrscaldwell (Post 5868933)
my husband is in for murder and ive never been scared of him i also met him after he started his bid.... but everyone has said ohhh he will get out and kill u..... but i just let them talk bc i know him better than that and i never wouldve intertained his conversation or married him if i thought he could hurt me!

thank you. Sounds like what I hear all the time how do you deal

Outlier 01-05-2011 12:03 AM

My boyfriend is in for aggressive assault. He spent over 3 years waiting for a trail on very shitty bail terms and now he's in prison.
The last few months were very hard, but he was never ever physical... Although sometimes verbally abusive.

delapenakl 01-07-2011 06:41 AM

It's always something you should watch out for. You don't want to be completely oblivious to that. If you feel that he would never hurt you, believe in that. Just keep your eye out.

LittleWing13 01-07-2011 09:26 AM

For three years, no I wasn't worried about it.....but apparently I should've been.

Ohusillywabbit 01-07-2011 02:08 PM

Absolutely not ! When it comes to me he's a great big pussycat & the submissive type !

watrn2002 01-08-2011 12:43 AM

My guy is a VO and we have had many fights, but I have never been afraid of him. I have been more afraid that he would recklessly hurt himself because he would get emotional and go do wacked out things. I think he might be more afraid of me. He always tells me he didn't know what to do sometimes because I would "flip" as he calls it. One minute I am fine, the next, flipping out.

We all have stuff we need to work on.

I am not sure I would even recognize if someone was being abusive. I tend to fight back. I guess I just think that's not possible. Kind of weird.

squeakyswife 01-08-2011 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleWing13 (Post 5877458)
For three years, no I wasn't worried about it.....but apparently I should've been.

what happened
:confused:

LittleWing13 01-10-2011 08:29 AM

Nothing too bad, but I'm not hangin around anymore. He's awesome as long as he stays away from Whiskey...

hartbehindbars 01-13-2011 01:55 PM

My man is going to prison for passion provocation manslaughter and murder 1. The second charge in my opinion is crap, but his ex girlfriend is a good actress. She played the "I was so scared I didn't do anything I didn't know what to do" card, when really she is a sociopath that did the actual murder 1. Everything that happened that night was built up from his childhood, (the charges are against his parents). My mother has been asked this many times...he killed his parents, aren't you worried he'll kill you too? My mother is not afraid, nor am I. Truly he is a gentle person that lost his temper and bad things happened, then he (thinking his girl was pregnant) took the fall for all of it...shows you justice right?

Sorry a bit off topic, but I'm a bit peeved about this situation for him.

LovingMyMan17 01-14-2011 10:33 PM

Never, not even when we argue.. I have called him some horrible names in a rage but never did I get scared. He has never put his hand on a woman or child, and never would. He is a VO for a silly reason..he never laid hands on anyone, nor was anyone else even involved, much less injured.

angel12569 01-16-2011 09:44 AM

No my husband is considered a VO for a stupid reason, been with him since 86 and married since 89, he has been locked up since 05, and i have never been scared of him. I think he is crazy but he would never hurt a fly unless someone would want to hurt his family he has never showing anyone harm. If you feel in your heart he is a danger to you, than you should listen to your heart. There is no wrong or right answer here, everyone is unique and everyone knows the other person.

loveroflife54 01-17-2011 12:39 AM

consider what he is in for. Sometimes things happen in the blink of an eye. But if he gives you a reason to be afraid, trust your gut. I am not afraid of my boo, but I do know he has a temper. I don't try to be nice so that he won't get upset, I just be myself. If he gets upset, that's okay because that's a part of life. But if I felt he would hurt me, I would drop him and take the lost. Just be careful. I've known my honey for over 25 years. But there's always that chance.....

Kelika718 01-17-2011 12:48 AM

I can understand why people warn their loved ones because I've seen a lot of domestic violence in my friends relationships but the difference with J is that he grew up a product of abuse in the home. Watching his mom be abused, his brothers and sisters and himself. He's the first one to smash someone for hitting a female, and the first one to intervene on some child abuse. There was a time he saw a guy he didn't know, hitting a female he didn't know in a parking lot when we were together he ended up chasing down the guy, stopping him while the girl ran and knocking the fool out. No matter how bad are arguments got he might've broke items around the house but he'd never put hands on me. I can promise that.


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