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-   -   Is he just using you? (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=511166)

Born 05-03-2020 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 (Post 7818211)
I guess you can say I have felt used not appreciated it's never enough just expected I guess that is my fault to because I would always give in to him and make sure he never went without well next month I'm not sending a food package it's to much for me right now


Amber, I'm sorry but you are too good for this guy of yours. I wonder how long it'll take for him to wake up and to appreciate you, rather than use and abuse you.?

ambermarshall11 05-04-2020 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Born (Post 7818212)
Amber, I'm sorry but you are too good for this guy of yours. I wonder how long it'll take for him to wake up and to appreciate you, rather than use and abuse you.?

Honestly I don't think he will ever wake up which is crazy because he has no one in his corner at all no family no friends nothing so you would think that you would appreciate the ones that you have nope not with him we'll see when he comes home how his tune is different I'm not getting him anything to come home to he's going crazy in the box but that's not an excuse on why he treats me that way

fbopnomore 05-04-2020 09:42 AM

I bet his attitude is why everyone else is ignoring him. If that doesn't wake him up, probably nothing else will work either. Take care of yourself so that his "coming home" doesn't become another disaster for you.

ambermarshall11 05-04-2020 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fbopnomore (Post 7818235)
I bet his attitude is why everyone else is ignoring him. If that doesn't wake him up, probably nothing else will work either. Take care of yourself so that his "coming home" doesn't become another disaster for you.

Yes i definitely hear what your saying he's very angry right now because he has no control of anything right now I'm not sure how his come home is gonna be honestly he emailed me yesterday and told me to throw all his stuff out of course I'm not going to do that he's trying to get a reaction out of me he said he's not coming to get his stuff my mom said he will change his tune really soon since I'm the only one that does for him but he said he's gonna show me another women will do for him I'm sure she will in his dreams

Born 05-04-2020 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 (Post 7818245)
Yes i definitely hear what your saying he's very angry right now because he has no control of anything right now I'm not sure how his come home is gonna be honestly he emailed me yesterday and told me to throw all his stuff out of course I'm not going to do that he's trying to get a reaction out of me he said he's not coming to get his stuff my mom said he will change his tune really soon since I'm the only one that does for him but he said he's gonna show me another women will do for him I'm sure she will in his dreams


He seems like a cunning, conniving and manipulative man. Sometimes i wonder what happens in peoples lives to make them change and have them treat others in a less humane way? What gives them the right to treat others so badly? What is it that they themselves are lacking in their own lives that they have to reflect it onto others. I guess i'll never know. One thing i do know is that if and when he comes out and if he continues to treat you the same way he has been doing all this time then he's going to eventually lose you. I can see that you're at the end of your tither.

ambermarshall11 05-04-2020 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Born (Post 7818285)
He seems like a cunning, conniving and manipulative man. Sometimes i wonder what happens in peoples lives to make them change and have them treat others in a less humane way? What gives them the right to treat others so badly? What is it that they themselves are lacking in their own lives that they have to reflect it onto others. I guess i'll never know. One thing i do know is that if and when he comes out and if he continues to treat you the same way he has been doing all this time then he's going to eventually lose you. I can see that you're at the end of your tither.

Awww thank you sweety yes he will yes I am he has messed my head up so bad it's not even funny I feel like I am going to have a mental breakdown he's controlling me from prison he has made me think I can't go on without him I've gotta talk to mobile mental health because I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack thank you for listening to me vent I have went above and beyond for him he has no family no Friends or anything else but me and this is the thanks that I get sorry for venting I got off topic a little

Bikerguy 05-05-2020 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Born (Post 7818285)
He seems like a cunning, conniving and manipulative man. Sometimes i wonder what happens in peoples lives to make them change and have them treat others in a less humane way? What gives them the right to treat others so badly? What is it that they themselves are lacking in their own lives that they have to reflect it onto others. I guess i'll never know. One thing i do know is that if and when he comes out and if he continues to treat you the same way he has been doing all this time then he's going to eventually lose you. I can see that you're at the end of your tither.

There is actually a condition called "Anti-personality disorder". The Mayoclinic defines it as;

"Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental disorder in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others harshly or with callous indifference. They show no guilt or remorse for their behavior.


Individuals with antisocial personality disorder often violate the law, becoming criminals. They may lie, behave violently or impulsively, and have problems with drug and alcohol use. Because of these characteristics, people with this disorder typically can't fulfill responsibilities related to family, work or school."



One study I read said that roughly 40% of inmates suffer from this. How true it is I have no idea. But for me at least it puts certain things into perspective onto the 'Why" individuals continue to do what they do.

ambermarshall11 05-05-2020 06:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bikerguy (Post 7818309)
There is actually a condition called "Anti-personality disorder". The Mayoclinic defines it as;

"Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental disorder in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others harshly or with callous indifference. They show no guilt or remorse for their behavior.


Individuals with antisocial personality disorder often violate the law, becoming criminals. They may lie, behave violently or impulsively, and have problems with drug and alcohol use. Because of these characteristics, people with this disorder typically can't fulfill responsibilities related to family, work or school."



One study I read said that roughly 40% of inmates suffer from this. How true it is I have no idea. But for me at least it puts certain things into perspective onto the 'Why" individuals continue to do what they do.

OMG that's him all the way holy crap then when things don't go his way it's boo hoo poor me I'm not going to be emailing him for a while he told me he's done with me to throw his clothes out it's all a mind games wants me to beg him and plead with him your sitting in prison yet along a prison cell all day with no family or no one see how that works out for you telling me your done see the reaction he gets when I stop contacting him it says alot of inmates have that disorder

YOGA62 05-09-2020 03:46 PM

Get rid of his things and cut off all ties
 
Hi Amber,

To protect yourself and your children, I am suggesting that you pack all of his belongings and find out where you can have them dropped off. I would ask the police. When does he get out of prison? Call police, won't he have a restraining order the minute he gets out of prison?

I suggest you DO NOT allow him to come to your home. I suggest you get all of his things OUT of your home now, long before he gets released from prison. He should NOT come to your home.

He is being abusive to you even in the jail and was sent there for domestic violence against you.

The police should look up the restraining order. Tell them he is getting out soon, you want to know if your order of protection is still VALID. Make sure you have a printed hard copy of the restraining order.

Can you take his things to a family member? Someone you know that he can go get his things from one of your family members? Then have someone else send him a letter and tell him in letter where he can pick up his belongings.

If you keep talking to him, the police could charge YOU with knowingly endangering your children, letting the convicted FELON come around your children and you. I suggest you pack up his stuff this weekend, get it OUT of our house, change your phone number and cut off contact with all of his friends and family. Change your social media to PRIVATE, delete friends and family and people that know him. I hope this helps. It is what I would do.

Please reach out to people who can help you be safe. People are here to help you!!!


QUOTE=ambermarshall11;7818310]OMG that's him all the way holy crap then when things don't go his way it's boo hoo poor me I'm not going to be emailing him for a while he told me he's done with me to throw his clothes out it's all a mind games wants me to beg him and plead with him your sitting in prison yet along a prison cell all day with no family or no one see how that works out for you telling me your done see the reaction he gets when I stop contacting him it says alot of inmates have that disorder[/quote]

Txgma 06-15-2020 12:44 PM

This is old, but absolutely agree with you. I think you hit a nerve with a few women. We all know what used means. If some women want to rationalize that they are using too for emotional support or whatever; it is what it is. I think most women who arenít afraid to look at the relationship with eyes wide open know if they are being fooled. The other women, will rationalize and unfortunately get hurt or worse, miss a good relationship that could have been. Good luck, but donít be so Gullible you lose your self respect.

juliawilson 07-20-2020 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chozngirl777 (Post 5755464)
I think the post is pretty clear and its a valid question. Every one knows that society looks at girls who are waiting for someone that is incarcerated "fools, that are just being used and played". It's a sad truth, but it's reality? I'm very independent, I'm highly successful, and to be honest, I know I got it going on in the looks department and could get any guy i want. Every day I hear that I'm too good to stand by a man that's locked up, and I'm warned to not be taken advantage of. But what they don't know is that our relationship has grown more since he's been locked up than it probably ever would have when he was on the streets. I have no regrets, we're rock solid, and we make eachother happy NOW, and to me that is all that really matters. So with that, no I don't think my man is using me. :)

I really needed that. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! This is so true...We often tend to plan a future (too quickly) and whatnot...We should enjoy the present moment, live in the now...And let's see where it will lead us. This way, we wouldn't expect anything and be disappointed if it doesn't happen...Thanks again for sharing!


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