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LovinMikey 10-07-2007 11:24 AM

Daughter just now getting to know incarcerated father
My daughter started asking about her father last year and I finally tracked him down in Pendleton Correctional Facilitiy shortly after her 11th birthday this year. Mike has never been mean or abusive to me but he was always in and out of jail so I choose to find someone else and have been raising my daughter with him and our other children. My daughter is happy and well adjusted and loves her daddy (my husband) but really wanted to know her Biological whom she calls Papi.

Mike seems so happy to finally have contact with her and she is happy as well to finally be learning about this other family but my question is, how can I as a mother support this budding relationship and help them to become as close as she and my husband are.

I told her that she can't tell anyone that he is in Prison and she seems to understand that but feels that I am ashamed of him. Truth is I just don't want her friends or others to make fun or treat her differently.

Can anyone here give me any ideals as to how this works, how are you helping your men to parent their children from behind bars?

Anyone else married to some one other than their baby daddy and still trying to let the incarcerated father feel a part of the parenting process?

I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and not sure what way to go or what to do to get past this.

Does it get easier as time goes one and everyone gets into a routine? Any help or advice anyone can give would be greatly appreciated.

deb 10-07-2007 09:17 PM

An idea might be for the two of them to write to each other. By writing they'll get to know each other more and she can tell him about school etc..

I'm not in your situation as far as being remarried to someone else etc.. but I know several other members are so maybe they'll have more ideas etc.. Good luck!


LovinMikey 10-07-2007 11:53 PM

She has written him twice but finds it hard to think of things to say to write more than that and he is so happy to have her back that he wants to hear from her every day if he could and I am just trying to find a few ways to make it easier and to help them find something to call their own to do together if you know what I mean.

Thanks for the reply :)

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