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-   -   MWI is out of prison & it hurts like hell!!! (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=723216)

Diamond4u 08-23-2020 04:21 PM

MWI is out of prison & it hurts like hell!!!
 
Hi everyone,
I need to talk to you guys. Hopefully you can shed some light over my story. I met my pp few years ago, we found in love with each other through letters (could not phone at that time). We were talking about meeting up, me relocating from France to his state even getting married! Sadly letters began to not be enough to me and the fact we could not find a way to call each other didnít help. I started to tell him maybe the relationship is going nowhere. He got extremely hurt, so bad that he wonít talk to me back when I tried to sort things out. Time passed. I call him after 2 years to get news, he is ready to start the relationship again. I am with someone else, I tell him so. He expects me to break up with the guy. I donít. He doesnít talk to me again. Eventually after several months my story ends, I was in a very bad and abusive relationship, not easy to get out of. I want to be with my pp as an item. It turns out he is getting released! I talk to him the day before his release, he seems distant saying Ďnow u want to talk to meí. He says heís gonna call me when he is out. Well he is at a halfway house since last Tuesday and I still didnít get any news from him! Iím feeling devastated. I wish I could make him understand how much I care and love him and that all that time I was thinking of him and looking for a way to be together ! What should I do??

WeepingWillow 08-23-2020 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond4u (Post 7825489)
Hi everyone,
I need to talk to you guys. Hopefully you can shed some light over my story. I met my pp few years ago, we found in love with each other through letters (could not phone at that time). We were talking about meeting up, me relocating from France to his state even getting married! Sadly letters began to not be enough to me and the fact we could not find a way to call each other didnít help. I started to tell him maybe the relationship is going nowhere. He got extremely hurt, so bad that he wonít talk to me back when I tried to sort things out. Time passed. I call him after 2 years to get news, he is ready to start the relationship again. I am with someone else, I tell him so. He expects me to break up with the guy. I donít. He doesnít talk to me again. Eventually after several months my story ends, I was in a very bad and abusive relationship, not easy to get out of. I want to be with my pp as an item. It turns out he is getting released! I talk to him the day before his release, he seems distant saying Ďnow u want to talk to meí. He says heís gonna call me when he is out. Well he is at a halfway house since last Tuesday and I still didnít get any news from him! Iím feeling devastated. I wish I could make him understand how much I care and love him and that all that time I was thinking of him and looking for a way to be together ! What should I do??


You didnít do anything wrong by needing more out of a relationship. You didnít do anything wrong by staying with the person you were with. Needing a relationship thatís more than letters is totally understandable. So is his hurt.

I know you want to reach him because you realized you made a mistake; but that doesnít mean you realizing it means heís going to come running. You ended things. Things may never be again. Heck, if you wouldnít have ended things, who knows where youíd be. Sometimes relationships have an expiration date when they walk out of the gates and sometimes they donít. We have no way of really knowing.

Maybe you could write him a letter, send it to his halfway house. Say your piece fully, tell him how you feel, and make sure he has your phone number.

Maybe if he reads it, heíll call. Maybe not. But regardless, Iím sorry youíre hurting. It hurts to know you couldíve lost something permanently that meant a lot to you. Hopefully you hear from him soon and you can figure out where you stand <3

onedayatatime13 08-23-2020 04:53 PM

Sometimes time will heal wounds and sometimes they don't. He has to acclimate to society and new surroundings in addition to everything else.

Write to him if you can. Leave the door open, but I wouldn't wait around. Live your life

Diamond4u 08-23-2020 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onedayatatime13 (Post 7825493)
Sometimes time will heal wounds and sometimes they don't. He has to acclimate to society and new surroundings in addition to everything else.

Write to him if you can. Leave the door open, but I wouldn't wait around. Live your life

Thank u for ur reply! He has no one around to help him out, even his family is not helping anymore. I want to be there for him and make sure he has everything he needs!

Diamond4u 08-23-2020 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow (Post 7825491)
You didnít do anything wrong by needing more out of a relationship. You didnít do anything wrong by staying with the person you were with. Needing a relationship thatís more than letters is totally understandable. So is his hurt.

I know you want to reach him because you realized you made a mistake; but that doesnít mean you realizing it means heís going to come running. You ended things. Things may never be again. Heck, if you wouldnít have ended things, who knows where youíd be. Sometimes relationships have an expiration date when they walk out of the gates and sometimes they donít. We have no way of really knowing.

Maybe you could write him a letter, send it to his halfway house. Say your piece fully, tell him how you feel, and make sure he has your phone number.

Maybe if he reads it, heíll call. Maybe not. But regardless, Iím sorry youíre hurting. It hurts to know you couldíve lost something permanently that meant a lot to you. Hopefully you hear from him soon and you can figure out where you stand <3


Thank u for ur insight! So much! I wrote him a lover letter prior to calling him (the day before his release date). I wrote him that My relationship is over, that I am ready now for us to be together, that I never stopped loving him. I asked him what what his thoughts on it but he was not alone while on the phone so he said he canít get into it right now but When he phones me we will talk about it. Itís been since Tuesday he is out and still no phone calls! It feels like torture! I thought about sending a letter to his halfway house but considering where I live it would need 2 weeks to reach him. Iím feeling like I am running after him, I donít even know if he cares about me anymore. When he was running after me I could not reply cause I was still committed to someone. Timing sucks sometimes.

Diamond4u 08-23-2020 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onedayatatime13 (Post 7825493)
Sometimes time will heal wounds and sometimes they don't. He has to acclimate to society and new surroundings in addition to everything else.

Write to him if you can. Leave the door open, but I wouldn't wait around. Live your life

I canít even picture myself dating, I think abt him all the time! And the fact I never got to meet him is not helping getting closure U know

ambermarshall11 08-23-2020 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond4u (Post 7825497)
I canít even picture myself dating, I think abt him all the time! And the fact I never got to meet him is not helping getting closure U know

Maybe you can call the halfway house and see if you can talk to him on the phone do you no the address where he is at

Diamond4u 08-23-2020 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ambermarshall11 (Post 7825499)
Maybe you can call the halfway house and see if you can talk to him on the phone do you no the address where he is at

Yes I have the address and phone number of his halfway house ! Iím trying to call now but nobody is picking up...

onedayatatime13 08-23-2020 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond4u (Post 7825497)
I canít even picture myself dating, I think abt him all the time! And the fact I never got to meet him is not helping getting closure U know

I wasn't talking about dating. I meant more just live your life and see what happens. If you write him and give him your info, if he he wants to try again, he will call you. If he was hurt you moved on, you have to respect that for now.

Also, if you are out of the country he may not be able to make out of the country calls. Im not sure how that works. Mail may be the only option for now.

Diamond4u 08-23-2020 05:48 PM

Everyday that passes by with no news from me is killing me! He has my phone number, I have a US phone number as well. I already sent him a love letter when he was in jail, I feel like If I do that again it may not impact him. I want to show him though my actions that I care. But the range of actions is very limited. He said he would call me but it doesn’t seem normal I still didn’t hear from him.

Jacob's Girl 08-23-2020 06:19 PM

1-He may not have a phone yet
2-He may not be able to call France
3-You wrote a letter the day before he got out. It's entirely possible he thinks you were just waiting for him to get out to get back together.
4-I totally understand your loyalty to the other guy and not dumping him for this one
5-I totally understand his hurt and pain

I suggest continuing to call and write. Tell him why you did what you did. Tell him about your loyalty. Tell him you understand and accept that you've hurt him and apologize (providing you do understand and are truly sorry). Tell him you don't mind taking this slow. Ask him if he has trust issues now, you know, scared you'll just up and leave again. Discuss the distance issue. Unless one or both of you are willing to relocate... If you want to beg him for a single chance, just one more, try. Though begging in a relationship is a big turn off for me. Why did you call him after 2 years if you weren't ready to get back with him then? That may be another red flag for him. He may believe you didn't like what you heard and decided to "have another guy". You having another guy when you called him and breaking up with said guy the moment he's released is going to appear highly suspicious to him.

Diamond4u 08-23-2020 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jacob's Girl (Post 7825508)
1-He may not have a phone yet
2-He may not be able to call France
3-You wrote a letter the day before he got out. It's entirely possible he thinks you were just waiting for him to get out to get back together.
4-I totally understand your loyalty to the other guy and not dumping him for this one
5-I totally understand his hurt and pain

I suggest continuing to call and write. Tell him why you did what you did. Tell him about your loyalty. Tell him you understand and accept that you've hurt him and apologize (providing you do understand and are truly sorry). Tell him you don't mind taking this slow. Ask him if he has trust issues now, you know, scared you'll just up and leave again. Discuss the distance issue. Unless one or both of you are willing to relocate... If you want to beg him for a single chance, just one more, try. Though begging in a relationship is a big turn off for me. Why did you call him after 2 years if you weren't ready to get back with him then? That may be another red flag for him. He may believe you didn't like what you heard and decided to "have another guy". You having another guy when you called him and breaking up with said guy the moment he's released is going to appear highly suspicious to him.


He can reach me on my US phone number.
I was in a very toxic relationship, was feeling very scared. I tried to tell my pp about that in that letter. It is not that I didn’t want to leave and be With him it is that I was scared of what may happen to me . The fact I’m reaching to him now has nth to do with his release! It just turns out we break up. But the problem is I know it is hard to believe. I don’t know how to make him realize I love him and never really stopped. Any suggestions? All this time I was looking at flights to go see him, my best friend knows I was always thinking of him, could not forget him. Now my pp resents me and I have no idea how to fix it. Well my idea would be to fly see him but I can’t even move cause of that **** travel ban!!!

ambermarshall11 08-23-2020 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond4u (Post 7825500)
Yes I have the address and phone number of his halfway house ! Iím trying to call now but nobody is picking up...

Girl keep calling someone will answer you will get a hold of him hopefully and when you do your worries will be over

RaeLR 08-23-2020 07:24 PM

Men work for what they want; it is the way they are wired. If he truly wants to be with you, he will find the way. If you force things, then you will never really know. Live your life and he will find you if it is meant to be.

Jacob's Girl 08-24-2020 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diamond4u (Post 7825509)
He can reach me on my US phone number.
I was in a very toxic relationship, was feeling very scared. I tried to tell my pp about that in that letter. It is not that I didnít want to leave and be With him it is that I was scared of what may happen to me . The fact Iím reaching to him now has nth to do with his release! It just turns out we break up. But the problem is I know it is hard to believe. I donít know how to make him realize I love him and never really stopped. Any suggestions? All this time I was looking at flights to go see him, my best friend knows I was always thinking of him, could not forget him. Now my pp resents me and I have no idea how to fix it. Well my idea would be to fly see him but I canít even move cause of that **** travel ban!!!

All jokes aside, I would literally fly to the halfway house and show up to him, but I'm a sick twisted freak known to do stalker shit. So probably shouldn't do that lol

saskatchewanian 08-24-2020 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jacob's Girl (Post 7825546)
All jokes aside, I would literally fly to the halfway house and show up to him, but I'm a sick twisted freak known to do stalker shit. So probably shouldn't do that lol


LOL... we are the same.





If you want this man... make a grand gesture... just be prepared for it to fail (so make other fun plans of things to do there)




Granted with covid... all of this might not be possible anyway... I'm not sure what state you are going to but some require 14 day quarantine upon arrival.

WeepingWillow 08-24-2020 11:21 AM

MWI is out of prison &amp; it hurts like hell!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by saskatchewanian (Post 7825551)
LOL... we are the same.





If you want this man... make a grand gesture... just be prepared for it to fail (so make other fun plans of things to do there)




Granted with covid... all of this might not be possible anyway... I'm not sure what state you are going to but some require 14 day quarantine upon arrival.


Fail is an understatement lol. Never met the guy, have no way to have ever verified his honesty, no clue if heís still even in the halfway house, no way to contact him, hasnít even implicated he wants to be friends much less lovers, freshly out of prison and reconnecting with the world, hasnít seen fit to pick up the phone to call for 2 seconds....

I literally lost count of all the ways it could go horribly wrong and heartbreaking. You gotta be SUPER prepared for pain to fly all the way over here.

Diamond4u 08-24-2020 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jacob's Girl (Post 7825546)
All jokes aside, I would literally fly to the halfway house and show up to him, but I'm a sick twisted freak known to do stalker shit. So probably shouldn't do that lol

Trust me thatís EXACTLY what I would be doing too!!! Iím just stuck cause of the current travel ban. Iím not allowed to fly to the US.

Diamond4u 08-24-2020 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saskatchewanian (Post 7825551)
LOL... we are the same.





If you want this man... make a grand gesture... just be prepared for it to fail (so make other fun plans of things to do there)




Granted with covid... all of this might not be possible anyway... I'm not sure what state you are going to but some require 14 day quarantine upon arrival.

I want to do that great gesture so bad!!! Thatís all Iím thinking about! But the thing is Iím in France he is is TX and I canít fly to the US cause of the Schengen ban! The only solution would be for me to go quarantine in another country for 14 days and then fly to the US but no money for that :(

Diamond4u 08-24-2020 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow (Post 7825556)
Fail is an understatement lol. Never met the guy, have no way to have ever verified his honesty, no clue if heís still even in the halfway house, no way to contact him, hasnít even implicated he wants to be friends much less lovers, freshly out of prison and reconnecting with the world, hasnít seen fit to pick up the phone to call for 2 seconds....

I literally lost count of all the ways it could go horribly wrong and heartbreaking. You gotta be SUPER prepared for pain to fly all the way over here.

If there is a way to verify his honesty ok I do it but is there really one...? I know he has no one outside for him. I believe he is a sincere person. I just think I broke his heart too many times. I think the situation is actually the opposite. He must be sitting and wondering if Iím really sincere. I want to show him I am. But how?? How can I show him with a great gesture other than flyin to him? Please Trump remove that travel ban so that I can come!

MizzyMuffling 08-24-2020 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaeLR (Post 7825513)
Men work for what they want; it is the way they are wired. If he truly wants to be with you, he will find the way. If you force things, then you will never really know. Live your life and he will find you if it is meant to be.

Exactly and if you did sent a letter that should be it and you need to wait for a response and move on if you won't get one.
You've made a mistake and tried to make it right, the ball is in his corner and it's hard but you've got to wait this one out.

onedayatatime13 08-24-2020 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling (Post 7825563)
Exactly and if you did sent a letter that should be it and you need to wait for a response and move on if you won't get one.
You've made a mistake and tried to make it right, the ball is in his corner and it's hard but you've got to wait this one out.

I would only add to resend the letter because she sent it the day before his release and is international. He didn't get it. Who knows if they will forward etc. Then leave it there. He'll reach out if he wants to from there.

Diamond4u 08-24-2020 12:15 PM

But why he doesn’t take into consideration I was fearin my ex and that it is not that I didn’t want to be with him but I just didn’t know how to do!! I got into big trouble he didn’t seem to care. I mean when u love someone u are supposed to care even though u are hurt no? I messaged him when I got into big trouble (at that time we were not in speaking terms anymore, he got too disappointed I was still stayin with my ex). I messaged him tho. I didn’t get any reply.

Diamond4u 08-24-2020 12:16 PM

To me he made a mistake too. Do u agree?

onedayatatime13 08-24-2020 12:28 PM

I actually don't think he made a mistake. People's emotions can be fragile. When a person bounces in and out and then seeks support after they left them, there usually isn't a whole lot of sympathy. He has to protect his own emotions and his own heart.

I truly am not trying to be mean, but based off of what you have written he isn't in the wrong here. You broke his heart and when it didn't work out you came back. If roles were reversed and he got with someone else, then left you, I would say the same thing.


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