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peyton83 11-14-2019 11:52 AM

My fiancťe case made the news and Iím heartbroken
 
Hi everyone

I donít know where else to turn. Iím heartbroken. My fiancťe was convicted of CP charge. He had an addiction to regular pornography and was downloading 1000s of files and accidentally downloaded what was considered CP. He never watched it and he is not a pervert but the news reported on it and released his name (no picture) and I donít know what to tell people. He has a common name, do I lie and say thatís not my guy? He was sentenced to 1 year in a Canadian provincial jail.

Iím worried for him

Peacefinder 11-14-2019 12:03 PM

I wouldn't lie because unless you are a great liar which most people are not, they will know you are lying.


I would just say you don't want to talk about it if someone asks. I don't want to sound like an asshole but nobody is going to believe that story. Nobody accidentally downloads child porn.

peyton83 11-14-2019 12:06 PM

He was downloading porn on line wire he didnít intend to download child porn and was assessed by a psychologist who said he wasnít a person interested in children.

So yeah you can accidentally download it. It was never looked at

fbopnomore 11-14-2019 01:08 PM

However it happened. he has been convicted, and sentenced for downloading CP, so it is what it is. Interest after a news article is published is fleeting, aka the news cycle. Anyone who connected the article to your fiance will always know that he has at least been convicted of that crime, so if you argue "it's someone else", they will know that's a lie.

Once he has served his sentence, he can start to put that one mistake behind him. If you receive any grief from it, you can decide if you want to continue associating with that person, or not. The passage of time is a good thing.

peyton83 11-14-2019 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fbopnomore (Post 7801462)
However it happened. he has been convicted, and sentenced for downloading CP, so it is what it is. Interest after a news article is published is fleeting, aka the news cycle. Anyone who connected the article to your fiance will always know that he has at least been convicted of that crime, so if you argue "it's someone else", they will know that's a lie.

Once he has served his sentence, he can start to put that one mistake behind him. If you receive any grief from it, you can decide if you want to continue associating with that person, or not. The passage of time is a good thing.

Thank you. Itís just an obstacle we have to overcome. Iím just worried about his safety in jail

I appreciate your response

LifeTraveler 11-14-2019 07:25 PM

I'm sorry this happened. Your fiancee isn't the first and won't be the last. You may want to check out this forum where your problem is common and it's a soft place to land.

GaReform 11-14-2019 09:56 PM

I do believe someone downloading adult porn in large amounts can get other things slipped in especially if it's from a free site. I have talked to people who were viewing adult porn from free sites & they tell me that it's unregulated & some people post crazy stuff on there that you might not know is wrong by the title or whatever. The pay sites are regulated & monitored so they weed out anything illegal.
People are always skeptical when someone says they didn't know. Sometimes you can get an idea of how intentional their actions are if there's very few images, they weren't in an accessible area of files & by the sentence they receive. Someone who is truly into CP will usually have more files, other things associated & will be given a harsher sentence.
Regardless, once labeled it doesn't matter to law enforcement or the world if there was 1 image or 1,000. If you believe & support him then that's what works for you.

I wouldn't lie about him. It shows that you believe there's something wrong. If someone is nosy & brings it up you can always turn it back on them. Ask them why would they ask you about that & what does it matter. If they are truly supportive of you & want to help then tell them you appreciate their concern but are still trying to process what has happened. Leave it at that.
Please be strong. His sentence isn't long but what comes after release will take patience & support. Hopefully he can get some therapy that will help him figure out why he turned to porn, help him understand & make better choices. I'm not sure how it is in Canada but reach out to a support group to help you find your way. Prison Talk helped me when I needed it the most.

Kimimi 11-14-2019 10:26 PM

I hope you have or will quickly build a support system for yourself you will need it going through all of this. It’s always easy for others to persecute you without knowing all the facts. The loved ones are unfortunately victimized and judged as well , I am sorry you are going through this.

jessesgirl1111 11-16-2019 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peyton83 (Post 7801451)
Hi everyone

I donít know where else to turn. Iím heartbroken. My fiancťe was convicted of CP charge. He had an addiction to regular pornography and was downloading 1000s of files and accidentally downloaded what was considered CP. He never watched it and he is not a pervert but the news reported on it and released his name (no picture) and I donít know what to tell people. He has a common name, do I lie and say thatís not my guy? He was sentenced to 1 year in a Canadian provincial jail.

Iím worried for him

Sorry to hear this. Publicity and the community criticism is the worst. In the beginning... it will fade away. Stay strong and remember those who mind donít matter, and those who matter donít mind. Definitely donít lie but donít discuss either, esp with a story like that. Plead the fifth! No comment! Thereís always more to the story than anyone knows.

Daddysgal 11-16-2019 10:29 PM

I know exactly how you are feeling. My guy's case made the front page of the papers and it was in the news as well. All the news articles come up in a online search of his name first. Be honest. Real friends will be by your side throughout this ordeal. I was with my friends and many were very sympathetic.

sidewalker 11-17-2019 08:58 AM

Do yourself a favor and do not read the comments in the comment section of the newspapers.

Sunshynn 11-18-2019 10:41 AM

When my husband was first arrested, I inactivated my Facebook before it hit the news.
I live in a small town so I knew it would make the local paper and the news and I didn’t want to deal with the negative ignorant comments from people assuming stuff without knowing.
It’s time like these that you (and him) learn who your REAL friends are and those that are superficial.
It’s been over a year from original arrest to sentencing and I still haven’t activated my Facebook and only talk about what happened with his and my family and with the few friends who’ve stuck by us.
It’s hard at first but you’ve got to grow a thick skin to get through this. If you love him then you and he can get through anything.

Firebrand 11-18-2019 02:59 PM

Take it one day at a time, Peyton. This time next year things will look different and a year is not that far away. I know that it's hard and especially when you're on the outside looking in. This is new to you, but this too shall pass, dear.
Don't worry about what you can't change. Look for the good in things each day because the bad will eat you up from the inside out like a cancer. He'll get by until he comes home. No one is going to put barbeque sauce on him and eat him for supper, ok? Take it one day at a time. And come here to PTO when you need to vent or talk. that's what we're here for, we've got your back, honeychild.


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