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-   -   He's gone. (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=717702)

IzzyLouWho 05-13-2019 04:13 AM

He's gone.
 
I found our abourmt 2am that Mr
B passed away. I know things weren't good, but damn. I wasn't fully ready for this. I now he had been bad for a while but just like that, boom, I'm a widow. No matter what had happened, I loved him. I'm crushed.

onedayatatime13 05-13-2019 04:39 AM

I'm so so sorry.

IzzyLouWho 05-13-2019 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onedayatatime13 (Post 7775923)
I'm so so sorry.

Thank you. What do you do when you can't be mad at them anymore, cause they're not here for you to be mad at?

onedayatatime13 05-13-2019 04:46 AM

Beat a pillow. Scream. Cry. Get it out.

He was a broken man. You could not save him. He loved you and you loved him. You learned from him and him you.

As time goes on the anger will fade, and you will be able to forgive.

MizzyMuffling 05-13-2019 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IzzyLouWho (Post 7775916)
I found our abourmt 2am that Mr
B passed away. I know things weren't good, but damn. I wasn't fully ready for this. I now he had been bad for a while but just like that, boom, I'm a widow. No matter what had happened, I loved him. I'm crushed.

Wow... I'm floored. My condolences!
Did you have contact with him since you guys separated? I might've missed some posts but what happened? (I hope I'm not too nosy).
Hugs to you :hugme:

IzzyLouWho 05-13-2019 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling (Post 7775927)
Wow... I'm floored.

Did you have contact with him since you guys separated? I might've missed some posts but what happened? (I hope I'm not too nosy).

Hugs to you :hugme:

We just talked Friday... The same conversation as ever.. You leftover me for your whore... I didn't leave you for her... I left because you cheated... I cheated because you did.... I never cheated... I cheated because you did... I knew in my bones.... He wanted to make things right. I told him he should have stayed away from whores...

I didn't post all those convos... He was in kidney failure. But would never admit he did anything wrong.

MizzyMuffling 05-13-2019 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IzzyLouWho (Post 7775928)
We just talked Friday... The same conversation as ever.. You leftover me for your whore... I didn't leave you for her... I left because you cheated... I cheated because you did.... I never cheated... I cheated because you did... I knew in my bones.... He wanted to make things right. I told him he should have stayed away from whores...

I didn't post all those convos... He was in kidney failure. But would never admit he did anything wrong.

Good grief! Sounds uplifting :D
Still, I'm sorry. For what you had to go through those last years. :heart:

trauma4us 05-13-2019 05:16 AM

So very sorry!

GingerM 05-13-2019 05:26 AM

My heart goes out to you Izzy.

Quote:

What do you do when you can't be mad at them anymore, cause they're not here for you to be mad at?
I'm still mad at my Dad at times. I still have "conversations" (out loud) with "him". It helps me to say things out loud instead of keeping them bottled up. I doubt he can hear me now anymore than he could hear what I was saying when he was alive, but it still helps.

You have a lot of unresolved issues between the two of you, with no way to resolve them now. One thing that helps me at times is to ask "If he were still alive, would the issue have had a possibility of being resolved?" Most of the time, the answer is no. And if it couldn't be resolved in life, there's no way it can be resolved now. So I work on accepting that a lack of resolution is sometimes a resolution by itself.

Doesn't make it hurt less, though. Much much support from me.

IzzyLouWho 05-13-2019 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GingerM (Post 7775938)
My heart goes out to you Izzy.



I'm still mad at my Dad at times. I still have "conversations" (out loud) with "him". It helps me to say things out loud instead of keeping them bottled up. I doubt he can hear me now anymore than he could hear what I was saying when he was alive, but it still helps.

You have a lot of unresolved issues between the two of you, with no way to resolve them now. One thing that helps me at times is to ask "If he were still alive, would the issue have had a possibility of being resolved?" Most of the time, the answer is no. And if it couldn't be resolved in life, there's no way it can be resolved now. So I work on accepting that a lack of resolution is sometimes a resolution by itself.

Doesn't make it hurt less, though. Much much support from me.

Thanks Ginger. It couldnt be resolve in live... It couldn't be resolved with alcohol. I'm just very sad. There was no happy ending with this. Boyfriends Mom said that I'm going to feel every emotion emaginable... I don't think I have enough Fireball for that...

keywii 05-13-2019 07:50 AM

I'm sorry for your loss!! The way that things has been left so incomplete, that should of been complete and wasn't. The what ifs will be there and the thoughts will be there as well. It does get easier as time moves forward! As days become weeks, months and years. But it doesn't fully go away and you'll have your moments from time to time. You'll go through all sorts of emotions during this time. But what you can do is what has been mention to you already. To beat a pillow, scream out loud, talk out load. You get it out however way you must to release what your feeling without holding it in and bottling it up! Grieve and the more you get it out the better you'll slowly start to feel. Just because he's no longer here on this earth physically doesn't mean he isn't here on this earth spiritually. So when your screaming, talking out loud, beating up a pillow/etc. Just know he's there spiritually he's seeing it and listening, the only thing he can't do is respond back to you the way you'll want him to. I'm praying that you'll heal and that you'll be able to get peace in all of this as well. I'm sorry for your loss once again.

sidewalker 05-13-2019 08:14 AM

Again, Im sorry for your loss.
Those unresolved issues will remain that way or at least the only way I see to resolve them lies with you.
Sometimes you just have to let things go. You will probably still be angry for a while, and sad as well. But in the end the only one hurting now is gonna be you.
I hope you are able to heal from all the hurt sooner rather than later.


(((((Izzy))))

fbopnomore 05-13-2019 09:07 AM

I'm sorry for your loss.

miamac 05-13-2019 10:27 AM

Oh, Izzy. I'm so very sorry. He picked a tough road and you were a good friend and wife to him. My condolences to you and his loved ones.

mauri23 05-13-2019 10:37 AM

My sincere sympathy.

orchibu 05-13-2019 10:46 AM

Verry sorry for your loss

patchouli 05-13-2019 10:00 PM

I'm so sorry he passed away, and that the 2 of you just couldn't resolve your differences :(

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maytayah 05-14-2019 09:52 AM

He's gone.
 
So sorry to hear he has gone. The sudden nature of his passing has left unanswered questions.

I lost a much loved partner many years ago we didnít get chance to say goodbye either. Whether you were together or not you donít just stop loving someone. You did a lot for him you were a loving wife. Itís time for him to rest and for you to reflect and move on. It will take time the grieving process can be long and painful but you will be ok. Just get as much support as you can.

Take time to care for you.

M x

IzzyLouWho 05-14-2019 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maytayah (Post 7776118)
So sorry to hear he has gone. The sudden nature of his passing has left unanswered questions.

I lost a much loved partner many years ago we didnít get chance to say goodbye either. Whether you were together or not you donít just stop loving someone. You did a lot for him you were a loving wife. Itís time for him to rest and for you to reflect and move on. It will take time the grieving process can be long and painful but you will be ok. Just get as much support as you can.

Take time to care for you.

M x

I think he did say goodbye to me... He told me when I talked to him Friday... "listen, you silly woman, you are the only woman I have ever loved, the only woman I love, and the only woman I ever will love." I loved him, but I didn't trust him. I'm having a really hard time with this.

maytayah 05-14-2019 12:11 PM

Of course you are having a hard time you are in shock and you have lost someone you cared for. It must be very upsetting and painful. Just take it Day by day. Donít be hard on yourself give yourself time to be sad and time to cry.

GingerM 05-15-2019 06:05 AM

I loved my Dad dearly, didn't trust him as far as I could throw him. He died 5 years ago this September.

I still struggle sometimes (especially on "anniversary" dates like his birthday or Christmas or Father's Day). But it does get easier with time.

Grieving is a process you have to get through, not one you get over or past.

kellydavid410 05-16-2019 12:24 AM

So very sorry for your loss

dtmom2013 05-20-2019 02:18 PM

I'm very sorry! I lost a love while we were odds also. Heartbreaking to say the least. Hugs!

Revenwyn 05-21-2019 02:40 AM

It wasn't a prison relationship, but I am a widow from a less than stellar relationship too. I'm here to listen, or to try to advise, whatever you wish. Just send me a PM. I get it.

jadah 05-31-2019 06:21 PM

Oooo Izzy.....all you had to do was say “kidney failure”.....and my breath was taken away. I am so very sorry for your loss, your suffering the whole journey through....oooo my dear friend. I am so very sorry. But do know this—-his death was not an easy one. He suffered too....more than he really understood.
Please accept my most sincere condolences.


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