SCARY! Is all I can say.......In one instant when on parole you can go back again and it is frightening.Thank god it didn't get that far but needless to say I FREAKED out when he told me this tonight!

He was on the bus headed to class today and some guy got on whom he said he instantly thought was high on drugs.He said the guy was talking about how he is wanted by the FBI and all kinds of crazy stuff.I guess he was picking on a few people on the bus who just ignored him and then turned his attention to my guy who of course couldn't keep his mouth shut,He said the guy asked him "What are you looking at?" a few times M told him to lay off,back off but he kept at it asking him "What you looking at punk? (Which is a completely off limit name to use in prison,total disrespect). M lost his cool and said "I'll show you when you get off this bus,I'm going to knock you out" or something like that.Well the bus driver had enough and called the cops who were waiting at the next stop for them.M said they made them stay on the bus,ran their names and basically just got there stories and thankfully let them continue on their way since nothing physical had happened.

I asked M "What would you have done if the cops didn't come and the bus stopped to let you two off... fight the guy?" and he said "Yes" to which I flipped out! Good god does he not release one punch and he could be back in for a parole violation for assault?????? Yes he said he does realize that now but at the time he was being disrespected and wasn't thinking clearly!

Man I was just really upset and still am.All it takes is on minute of not having a clear head and realizing what you have to loose and he could of been back on his way to prison.I told him he has to realize that he isn't like other people anymore who will maybe get away with something or just spend a few hours in county he has the State to answer to now and they will lock his butt up in a heartbeat and that I don't want to loose him again nor be a prison girlfriend again and neither do his kids! Ugh! Thank god it turned out ok but I have to admit once again just like when he quit his first job after release I thought "So this is it? Here we go again with the bad a** mentality?" I calmed down and told him I was just afraid of loosing him again and to please,please just THINK if ever in that situation again,think of where you could be headed again and all you have to loose.

He called his PO right after it happened and told him about it and his PO said he did the right thing by letting him know,that he is doing really well and that he thinks it shows M is on the up and up by telling him this when he might never of found out about it.Lets hope that is really the case and lets hope that was the ONLY incident like that.I'm telling you thinking it could of turned out different and he could be on his way back to prison as I type this is a real,real hard pill to swallow!

I'm just thankfull it didn't go any farther and I can only pray if ever in a bad situation again he will walk away and not mouth off even if he isnt the one who started it!!

Oh my Gosh Cali! I can't imagine all that you went through when you heard that! I freaked out when I looked at your thread title. I am glad it turned out okay... but I understand your disapointment and frustration. Wow....How scary! I'm sorry you had to go through that!

Ya know Cali, My PO was the same way. I told him when i got pulled over even though i didn't get a ticket, (luckily only a warning 46/30 mph zone) But he was glad that he heard it from me.

Tell you man, he has a lot to lose. And the major thing is his Freedom. Im sure this proabably snapped him into reality a little. Keeping you two in my prayers....

Wow...I was scared when I saw the title of this thread! :( Thank God everything is okay, girl!!! I'm happy that nothing bad happened and that he's still home! :thumbsup:

Selena

Thanks! Yes thank god everything is ok!!! Sorry didn't mean to scare everyone with the title I guess I should have been more specific,couldn't figure out what to say though to be honest,just the first thing outta my mouth (Or hand as case may be lol)!!

In all honesty as much as I am always calming Chris down I could see him reacting like this. He's been in that prison way to long to know how to just let things roll. He has the same attitude when it comes to respect and such. What we let roll is something they view as being disrespected

Yikes! Thank goodness it turned out all right. It seems that "prison programming" is not so easy to shake; I know "respect" inside is a big thing with my guy as well....and to that end, he has made some really bad decisions.

Cripes....glad it ended like it did!

Glad it turned out ok but one can see how very easy it would be to go back in.

Oh my gosh! You scared me! I am glad everything turned out okay. I guess it was a good thing that he called his PO just incase.

In prison respect is huge deal. Sometimes I think they go overboard with it. Matt did the right thing after the incident took place by calling his PO. That was a noble move on his part. Cali I am sure this stressed you out to the max. Thank god everything turned out ok.

I'm so glad it turned out ok and hope it continues to be OK.... ((hugs))

Deb

Well, I must say I freaked when I read the title. Your story is a big fear of mine. I am glad that things worked out--and him calling the po was a great thing for him to do. I pray that thats the end of that incident.

As always the both of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

ONE

Thank goodness things worked out. Often the police are more than happy to try and "blame" someone when there is a dispute. It was a good thing he did by calling his po. Good luck to you.

It is scary how how an incident that is minor to most people can stop our hearts beating for a while! maybe this was a good thing- real life experience with a chance to think about it afterwards but no extreme consequence. Stay tough- my life is running parallel to yours, girl!

Hey Cali, I'm so glad to here that Matt is okay and everything worked out the way it did and it took a big man to do what he did and especially calling his PO, and letting him know what happened and maybe his PO will have some type of respect for him because of his honesty in this close call situation.
Kesha

I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through this sweetie. I'm glad he did not get in trouble. One day when I am not here at work (only 2 more days in the office till I work at home woo hoo) I will share a few stories about things that have happened since C has been home.

I can understand the respect aspect, but the hardest part is the fear that something so simple can send them back and that is the last thing we want. I hope you can talk to him and get him to understand why this is so upsetting for you.

Thank the Great Spirit nothing came of it. I can understand why your man said what he said. But you are right they need to learn to walk away. They have so much more to loose then the other guys.

I will continue to hold you and Matt in my prayers.



Yes the title of your thread made my heart stop.

What happened with your man can happen to any of us it's just they have less chances and more to risk. My honey is in prison for that very same primal issue of respect. What happens when people go too far and violate something that we hold very dear.

This isn't only his issue of having been to prison but with men and unfortunately more and more in women. We get so angered and so frustrated that we loose or risk things that are most important to us. I have a 9 year old that I try to teach him to think before he acts. But that is a lesson for me too. In today's world restaint and self-control, let alone respect is a fleeting value.

We live in shared spaces with people with different experiences and values. Our tolerances are lower, our fuses are shorter, our personal values seem to always be one word away from being the wrong thing to say. I am not sure that I even know why I wrote this, except my honey wouldn't be where he is...if he just hadn't let some things ride and walked away.

Cali~ I am so glad to hear everything went ok. That is my biggest fear right now too. Any thought of police contact scares the crap out of me. I got pulled over this morning and I was so happy that I had just dropped him off at work. Thank god he wasn't with me.

But yes the title of the thread really scared me but I am so gald everything is ok. Tell M ~ no more encounters please!!

Wow. How scary. I'm glad everything is okay.

Cal Sunshine:

So glad to hear Matt's home.

Not so glad to hear of his mishap.

I don't want to lecture, or be a wet blanket, but as a lawyer in the state of California, I have to be:

This time, things turned out well. This time, the cops exited stage right.

Next time, he might end up inside again.

I understand that Matt had to develop that stand-tall attitude to survive inside. Inside, you're stuck and you can't walk away, and walking away makes you look like a coward with more hell to pay later. Sometimes it's better to get a split lip or bloody nose today than a broken jaw tomorrow.

Outside, it's almost always different. Outside, he could find himself facing "Monday Morning Quarterbacking" from people only too glad to see him go back in again. As an ex-con, his word won't carry the weight it should in a "pissing contest" which what a lot of situations are. Outside, his acts could get elevated way out of proportion, especially if -- heaven forbid -- someone gets hurt badly.

Somehow, some way, please explain to him that it's better to walk away. Let some other hero do the fighting.

In some ways, what Matt did was noble. It's good to stand up for others. But it's foolish if you end up going back inside. He may say now that he doesn't care. But he might change his tune if he's looking at x-life on a third strike, which can happen so easily.

Also, I'd check with others in teh California forum about advising POs of things. Think twice, check around, please.

Hopefully, Matt will learn from the experience. I hope he's wise enough not to see this successful outcome as a reason to push his luck later.

All of that said (lecture over!)

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ HUGS TO BOTH OF YOU! ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

You're lucky to have each other. (I'm sure he knows that!)

bless you both

abner

Thanks everyone,thanks Abner I didnt take it as a lecture I appreciate your feedback

There is an update to the story,a good one!!! He got on the bus yesterday and the same guy was on there!!! I just KNEW it would happen! Luckily all is well,they made up! My guy sat next to him and said "We meet again the lord works in mysterious ways" he said the guy explained he was having a bad day,has fallen on rough times and was p**sed at the world that day etc. My guy told him he knows what it is like to be down and out and to just hang in there but to be careful when he mouthes off because someday he will do it to the wrong person.They got along fine and talked most of the ride.The guy said he would tell the bus driver that was on duty that day the argument happened that all was fine between them now so she wouldnt give my guy any hassle next time she sees him.

Wow, Matt sounds like he is doing great Cali and I am glad this ended so well for you guys.

WOW, I cant believe Matt did that (well any man just out of prison). I know you are proud of him. Take care.

One