Hi everyone... My husband was released to work release in Oct, and these past couple of months have been so hard that I cant believe it. We went an entire month not seeing each other, we only talked twice, things are seeming better now, but I am so bitter and so hurt by his attitude and actions that it is difficult to know what I want to do.
My husband was locked up for five years, and I know that he has had a difficult time adjusting to making decisions for himself again, and he feels so stretched thin at times, but damn when it is my turn?? I have stuck by him thru four years of incarceration, and then he gets out and he changes, he wasn't talking to me, after a month of almost no contact, I wrote him a letter and sent him divorce papers, that seems to have shook him up because he called me a few days later and asked to come home for a 48 hour furlough. The weekend was GREAT!!! But as soon as he was gone back there, I was unsure again. I know that I love my husband so very much, but I am scared that he will have another mental meltdown and I dont want to go thru that again.
Somebody please help me understand this.... Am I stupid for continuing to try??

My best advice it to follow your heart. You can't continue to ride an emotional rollercoaster with him, but if you feel in your heart that he is it for you then keep trying. Have you tried talking to him about it?

When he was going thru this meltdown, I tried to talk to him, and he just was dead silent, he wouldnt say a word. Now I talk to him and he tries as best he can to talk about how he's feeling but he doesnt know what to call it, doesnt know how to describe it. His mom died when he was incarcerated, and he has ALOT of guilt about that, he seems to be trying but I am still scared to death.

Just take one day at a time and keep trying if you want to be with him. It sounds like he has gone through a lot. Give it time. It willl all work out for you.

No you are not stupid!! I agree with AEMS. I think his reaction to the divorce papers says a lot. Give him time, although you may feel like you have. I think being locked up really messes with these men's heads...more than we think we know or understand. Hang in there, I know you have, but for a little while longer.

I just hate hurting like this. I am tired of crying. And it hurts me to hear the hurt in his voice. But I also have to wonder, where has he been spending his furloughs for the last month?? I aint trying to play stupid here, I am an intelligent educated woman, and Iwont close my eyes to things just cuz they may hurt me. Yes, I am afraid that he has been cheating. He says no, but I am very unsure because of the way things have gone.
I know that his being locked up messed with him very badly, he isnt used to making his own decisions and not having to account for every minute of his time, BUT he also needs to remember who it was who stood by his side when everyone else left. And he also needs to remember that not communicating isnt the answer.
As long as I see him trying I will continue to try. But I cant hold onto nothing, and that is what I got for that month.
Sorry to unload on you guys, I am just so frustrated and hurt.

maybe the two of you should seek counseling...if you both can be honest with the counseler he/she can help you put it back together and get past a lot of things that need to be left behind, enabling you both to dream about the future, TOGETHER!!!

I have been in counseling a few times, sometimes it has helped and sometimes it hasnt, i think due to no "click" with the counseler. If your a church memeber often times your preist, revererend, etc is available for counseling, at no cost.