:confused: I feel like crap this morning.............
Yesterday I had a great day at work, I came home and bam!
I didn't barely say anything, and Scary was being so rude and ignorant to me, I kept asking him what the problem was and he said I was. That he is so fed up with everything, he just should of never come home.........

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had no idea where all this was coming from. He proceeds to go on this tirade about how come he only gets hooked up with Whores in his life. And asking why do I talk about his ex the way I do when I'm just as bad.....

Well, for those of you that have read my other posts, you know that Scary just recently found out that the girl he left me for before was sleeping with his friend the whole time and lying to him.....

Well.....8 years ago I had like a one nighter with this same guy. Here's the difference, me and Scary were broken up for a few months, and Scary was persuing another girl at the time. And I was drunk.
Scary knew about it right away, I never denied it, although I am ashamed of it, and very remorseful for it.
But to me that was 8 years ago, I never lied about it, I know it hurt Scary very bad, but I have apologized like a zillion times.....and since then we have been through so much, we've had another child, bought a couple houses, got engaged....
If this was such a major problem for him why has he stayed with me all these years??????????????

Now because of the new info that he has found out about this girl, it's like dug up all these old skeletons and he is mad at me all over again. I talked to him for hours last night, and nothing seemed to break him, he is just absolutely disgusted...He even said that the more that he thinks about it maybe we shouldn't get married, I don't thinks it's a good idea if we have so much distrust in one another..................WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!

I didn't even do anything......and because she lied to him and caused this whole chain of events, he won't even come near me, in fact last night he even slept on the couch.....

And everything he says to me, when I answer, he says "I don't why I'm asking you, you lie about f*cking everything", "you're a hipocrit" HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't even do anything, accept come home from work..............

Please!!!!!! If anyone's got any advice for me.....I'll take anything!!!!!!!!!!

Right now I feel like he's got me backed into a corner, and no matter what I say is not helping...............

I would ignore it. Let him have his hissy fit. You tried to talk to him and he was not interested. I would NOT take kindly to being called whore (which is what he indirectly called you). I would let him know that and say nothing else.

I have read your other posts and it seems there are alot of problems with him. Do you want to marry alot of problems?

Maybe he needs time to readjust.
Pray and ask God for guidance.

Another thought...when did he go in? They get stuck developmentally in that date. So when they come out it is like it is still that date in their mind.

Another thought...when did he go in? They get stuck developmentally in that date. So when they come out it is like it is still that date in their mind.
I never thought about that Mia! Is that something you researched? I would be curious to learn more about that.

I would ignore it. Let him have his hissy fit. You tried to talk to him and he was not interested. I would NOT take kindly to being called whore (which is what he indirectly called you). I would let him know that and say nothing else.

I have read your other posts and it seems there are alot of problems with him. Do you want to marry alot of problems?

Maybe he needs time to readjust.
Pray and ask God for guidance.

Another thought...when did he go in? They get stuck developmentally in that date. So when they come out it is like it is still that date in their mind.
Scary is very high maintinence emotionally.
He gets stressed over dumb things very easily. My experience is that he is so used to being locked up that he doesn't know how to deal with everyday situations.
This thing that I did years ago has always been a sour subject, I never bring it up, but when he does it usually always creates a fight. Scary has a very hard time trusting people emotionally and that started a long time ago with weird stuff that went on with his parents when he was groing up. I almost feel like I have to constantly proclaim my love for him, or else he doesn't believe it.
What's driving me crazy right now is that this ex who continues to call and write letters ,gets his blood pressure pumping. When she calls he usually gets all fezzed up and says things like your a whore stop calling. She writes letters saying how sorry she is for what she did. So it's like never going away, he gets reminded of it everytime she calls or whatever. Which in turn keeps what I did fresh in his mind. He finally said to me last night that he's just upset right now, and he does want to be with me, it's just that he can't get it out of his head. Well it's probably because of the reminder of it from her everyday....
I just feel like i need to do something to make it better, but I can't make it go away...

I say give him time. Let him be mad and he will get over it. It sounds like he is going through alot trying to adjust to being home and that is ok. Be patient with him. I understand you feel like you give and give and give, but he may need it. hang in there.

hey girl, i know you have been thru alot of $hit with him being home and the other "girl", but he sounds like he is going thru his own emotioal struggles that have nothing to do with you, but he is taking it out on you b/c there is no one else to take it out on. basically, he has gotten flack about this girl from everyone including you so this is his way of retaliating and having his own personal weapon (the 8 year ago thing) makes him feel better to do the bi**hing than to be bi**hed at, make sense. just let him get out his anger and frustration, let him get in his moods, just try to be as understanding as possible of his situation, try to put yourself in his shoes as hard as that may be. and remember to TALK and LISTEN, look for clues in his words, hidden meanings, be receptive. i am here for you :)

I say give him time. Let him be mad and he will get over it. It sounds like he is going through alot trying to adjust to being home and that is ok. Be patient with him. I understand you feel like you give and give and give, but he may need it. hang in there.

Thanks~
At least I know it's not me that's crazy....

No you aren't crazy girl. YOu are doing all you can! Stay strong sweetie!

hey girl, i know you have been thru alot of $hit with him being home and the other "girl", but he sounds like he is going thru his own emotioal struggles that have nothing to do with you, but he is taking it out on you b/c there is no one else to take it out on. basically, he has gotten flack about this girl from everyone including you so this is his way of retaliating and having his own personal weapon (the 8 year ago thing) makes him feel better to do the bi**hing than to be bi**hed at, make sense. just let him get out his anger and frustration, let him get in his moods, just try to be as understanding as possible of his situation, try to put yourself in his shoes as hard as that may be. and remember to TALK and LISTEN, look for clues in his words, hidden meanings, be receptive. i am here for you :)
This makes sense...
I think that my biggest fear is that we are going to fall apart due to lack of communication. He holds everything inside, and rarely opens up to what is really bothering him. When I try to ask him he gets mad a pushes me away, he hates to be pecked at for info....
But I'm afraid if he doesn't think I'm here to talk to, that he is going to look elsewhere for a friend....This is pretty much what unfolded before.
I got to a point that I was so fed up with his behavior, that I didn't want to talk to him about anything. He found a "friend" in his drug dealer, and here we are now...still paying for it.

In my past I was with someone who behaved that way, he threw things in my face that were very old, however it was to justify in his mind what he was currently doing, he was cheating, and wanted to feel better about it, so he would bring up anything that I did that he could, cause that is what he was doing.I am in no way saying that he is cheating, just my experiance with that type of behavior. :confused: :confused:

I never thought about that Mia! Is that something you researched? I would be curious to learn more about that.
Emotional development delay

This kinda happened with my ex, his ex slept with his best friend and him after they had broken up and she got pregnant, it really messed him up with the whole trust issue thing. He had problems growing up with his family and other messed up stuff. I wouldn't put it all on the ex that is calling and writing. He has to deal with his trust issues, it is going to be a constant battle letting him know that he can trust you. The whole give him space and let him think doesn't seem right to me when what he is mad at you for happen 8 years ago....he's had 8 years to think about it and get over it and some of those years were in prison where he had lots of time to think about it, if he isn't over now he probably won't ever be. It's always going to come back and haunt you...

I understand what you are going through. It's totally frustrating trying to prove that you can be trusted especially if you have done nothing wrong. I hope things start to work out once the crazy psycho ex stops contacting him...I will pray on this one for sure. You sure need things to go right for you for once.

I never thought about that Mia! Is that something you researched? I would be curious to learn more about that.I don't know what to tell you. I hope you can get things worked out or maybe think about moving on. He has put you through H*** since he came home. But I have heard many times the same thing Mia said about coming out developmently (sp?), the same as when they went in. Stay strong. You have done a lot for him and don't deserve that kind of treatment.