Patty feel free to move this to the pet forum if you think it fits better! I almost put it there but couldnt decide.

I really feel kind of goofy posting this but I had to get it off my chest and who better then you guys to share it with!

I know first and foremost I am blessed that this is the only dilema we are facing but it really truly bothers me!

My cat is my baby I am crazy in love with her and I have always told him the cat stays no matter what.He tried to like her and be nice to her but he is a child when it comes to her and does stupid things to get her all riled up like just get in her face and meow and make noises at her etc.She has been really good about him being around (She is used to being the QUEEN and to it being just us) even sitting on his lap every once in awhile.Well now that he has picked on her so much she dislikes him.As of today she hisses every time she sees him and that makes him mad! He threw a paper towel at her tonight after her hissing reapedetly at him which made me mad and we had a little spat followed by the silent treatment for awhile.I will NOT tolerate my cat nor any animal being treated bad.Granted it was a paper towel but still do NOT throw anything at any animal in my presence ever!
He thinks he is right and she should not be hissing at him and I agree BUT I think he brought it on himself and instead of trying to get her adjusted to another person being around he goes out of his way to bug her.It really is a dilemma because we have been talking about living together and someday down the road his children may live with us to (Which was already going to be an issue with the cat and she isn't fond of kids)

I just really am upset I dont know what to do to get her to calm down now and like him and to get him to lay off her,be an adult and like her again (He is so mad she is hissing,thinks it is horrible behaviour).

Like I said I know it sounds dumb me whining about my man and my cat not liking each other BUT he really irks me at this moment and I just am worried,worried that the cat is unhappy because of him and that things will only get worse when we do live together.

I know I know I should just be thankful my man is home but you have to understand I am a huge animal lover and my cat means the world to me.My man and my cat are my two loves lol

I totally understand, men can be so un-understanding when it comes to stuff like that(if thats a word) :D Anyway, I dont have any advice, but I completly understand you being upset, I am an animal lover too, especially cats, Im sure she would like him if he had not teased her :rolleyes: Anyway, talk to him, and good luck to you and your furry baby :p

I can understand were you are coming from. I have two cats. I even go as far as leaving the tv on for them while I am at work so they are not lonely while I am gone. I am thankful that Dave is a huge animal lover as well. I have heard of men being jealous of a womans pet. I think Matt should try to rekindle his relationship with your cat. It sounds to me like he started it. (LOL)

Well I'm NOT moving this post because I think it is completely valid to your homecoming situation.

Your cat is like your child, a part of the family if you will. I think that in time they might just settle down and peacefully coincide.

I don't have any pets but I do have a semi shared yard and my neighbor has a dog whose bark is bigger than her bite. This dog gets on Sebastians nerves and I was able to rectify the situation by closing off the gates between our houses. My neighbor understands, I can still visit with my "pet neighbor" and Sebastian feels less harrassed. Admittedly this situation was easier to work with than yours.

Continue to communicate your feelings to your man because it is obvious this is very important to you.

Patty

I cant relate to the man v. pet issue, but I can relate to the man v. kids issue and thats what this is like. Your cat is your baby and like any mother you have maternal insticts that come out when someone is mistreating or making waves with your baby.

What your feeling right now is exactly what I would be feeling if someone tormented my kids to the point they didnt like them.

The bottom line is he is the adult and he needs to be the bigger of the two. He needs to stop fighting with your child

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Cal. The first thing to do is talk to your guy and help him understand. Men sometimes are like small children when it comes to animals - they just don't know how to "play" with them and it can turn into a bad situation. Once you do that, the next thing is for the both of you to work on the issue. The cat will come around one way or the other, but the easiest is to have your guy feed the cat....not you....him! Most animals will not bite the hand that feeds them so to speak and warm up to that person very quickly. I have done that before when my cats (3 at the moment and always had at least that many at one time) were uneasy with people. Snacks, treats or regular meals...if you think food is the way to a man's heart - you haven't seen many hungry cats. This will not work, however, if your guy isn't willing to be a kind and courtesy part of this win-over plan. Go slow and be patient with both of them.

Catlady........

Well, girly, you aren't the only one to have to put your foot down about this issue. My man and I had a stupid spat a few weeks ago about whether or not my dog would still be allowed to sleep on the bed after he gets home. Mind you, that's about 8 years off! I got so mad I said, "Well, I'll be lucky if my dog is even alive by the time you get out!" The spat ended rather quickly after that, as you might imagine. I think your man is just jealous, but I would call him on his immature behavior. She's a CAT, he's a human - he has a little more choice about his behavior. He needs to show you he respects and values the things that you love. I think it's respect issue, and if you use those words, he ought to understand what you mean. Just my two cents.... hope it all works out!

Jessica

Thanks everyone!
Tody we were talking about the child I am babysitting tonight and he made a comment about my cat not liking kids and hopefully she won't scratch him.Mind you I have babysat this child for two years and my cat has never hurt him she hisses at him and walks away to go hang out in another room while he is here.I told M that and he said "She must hiss at him because she doesnt like him in her face so that is her way of saying she doesn't like to be bothered" HELLO EXACTLY MY POINT LOL! Thats what I said to him "Yes exactly the same reason she has started hissing at you"!! That shut him right up lol! but then he went on to say he thinks she is jealous of him and having to share Mommy with him and that is why she hisses.I told him you may not believe that animals have feelings but cats need adjustment time for new situations just like you and I did and you can help ease the adjustment of someone new being around all the time by just leaving her alone!
So we shall see if that sunk in and how they do together next time he is over! It's like having two children I swear!

It's like having two children I swear!

I cant even begin to count how many times I've said to my kids "just ignore her and she'll stop" when they are getting on each others nerves. It truely is a visious circle of who can annoy who the most :D

Hopefully, your problem is fixed. I dont have an answer for you. But keep talking and yall cant be doing the silent treatment thing---its not good.

ONE

Yah One you are right and that was all me,I take responsibility for that.I got over it quickly I realize that wasn't adult of me to do I was just grumpy and that topped it off.No more spats and silent treatment over the cat,just discussions :)

Grrrrr he doesnt feel good and is grouchy and wants to argue about the cat on the phone! So will this be the one thing that goes wrong with us? a cat????? Jeez what a mess! I'm not giving up my baby either one of them so they are just going to have to learn to get along somehow!!!

Cali I am not sure you recognized a really good bit of advice. Have matt feed your cat and give her treats. Ask him not to pick her up or pet her unless she approaches him first. Trust me if Matt would do this your cat will come around faster then you can say cat nip. DMP was correct in saying a cat won't bite the hand that feeds her. Tell Matt to be cool and chill the fur child will come around.

Okay, this may not be the right answer, but I suggest that you get a squirt gun and everytime Matt misbehaves around your cat, squirt him with it. :D:p

Ravens and Dpm,I will have him do that if he will agree to do so.I think (hope) he will since he knows how important this is to me

Slainte,LOL I like it! He is worse then the cat! I have a man child lol

I can understand were you are coming from. I have two cats. I even go as far as leaving the tv on for them while I am at work so they are not lonely while I am gone. (LOL)Flecky -- no, Flecky -- no Flecky -- NO!!! LOL

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I used to tell my husband when he was locked up that I kissed my cat in the mouth. He thought that was nasty and told me to not kiss him. Lo and behold when he gets home he feeds the cat icecream off a spoon and what she didn't finish he finished. Everything he put in his mouth he'd put it to the cat first and after she sniff and decide "no thankyou", then in his mouth goes. And the kissing -- he kiss the cat more'n anyone!! He came home and the cat deserted me and went directly to him. If I sound a little jealous -- well, okay, I am!! LOL Over the cat?? BigDaddysBaby -- no, BigDaddysBaby -- no BigDaddysBaby -- NO!!! LOL

LOL...i was going to say what salinte said....lol.......i know it's not really funny and i agree with those that said have him fed your kitty......but kitties know when mommy is stressed and when to get the heck outta town........bringing him in is like bringing in a Great Dane...........poor kitty......she has to get time to get use to him and he needs to not pester her........now what would you do if you brought a strange dog into the house????........hum........think about it........that reasoning may work........lol
ahem.......sorry..........i have 5 kitties......and each time i brought a new one in all but one hissed and carried on......i yell at the hisser........but then i realized that the kitten was pestering and i decided to let them settle it on their own......they still aren't friends.......and i'm rattling so i'll stop........

i wish you luck in the Cat VS. Man...........i'm sure i know which side will win in the end.........lol