Don't I wish (kid) LOL

Hello, I'm a reg. sex offender and here's my story.

In 1960, I was involved in an affair where anything and everthing was OK except normal intercourse, she was 20.

During the affair I crossed the line (still wonder if I was the 1st) and she cried "rape". I was arrested and drew a blind (could not see) PD. His advise was to cop to the rape since I knew I crossed the line, and I did'nt and went to trail. I was conviced and drew a possible 3-50. The DA did push it and I didn't do any "prison time", I did 2 1/2 at a State Hospital and 5 yrs probation, whick I did in 3. Then I went back to court and the verdick was set aside and the reconds sealed UNTIL, Mr. two face Clinton signed into law that ANY person conviced of a sex crime had to register. So, in 1995 I was rounded up and back in court again. After $5000.00 in lawer fee's I've surcome to the fact that I can not get out of it, unless I leave the country or die. I've gone aback to court and I have an order of Rehabilitation and Pardon. But the State Governor WILL NOT Pardon any sex offenders reguardless of the case! And that seems to be the trend in the USA.

BRay...
Welcome to PTO and thanks for sharing your story.... I am curious... has having to be registered caused a lot of problems for you?? Just curious... I used to work in a prison and knew a guy who was doing a bit for refusing to register.... He refused because his situation was similar. Just wondering what things he will be having to face as I know he will be registering when he gets out this year.
:) But again... welcome!

Bray


Welcome to PTO..... I know it must be hard for you to never have any privacy. You have done your time and it should be over. Have you completed ReHAB?

Talk with the Probation/Parole and see if there is something that might be able to happen with your situation.

There is so many injustices to face... If we all stick together maybe we can get some of them solved.


God Bless

Donna

>>>Just wondering what things he will be having to face<<<

If he doesn't register, he will continue to be doing time! If he registers and fails to each year, a warrent WILL be issued! Here (CA), it's ONE week on each side of your birthday that you must re-register each year. And make NO plans to be out of town until it's done! Also, if you out of your area for more then 72 hrs (Ithink) you, by law, must make connect with the local police department in that otherr area.

When I was "rounded up", it was a mass round up in the area and the local TV camera was rolling in the court room which made the news for some days. In court, I was in cutoff jeans, no shirt, sandles and a bit dirty from working in the yard. That's how I was seen on TV. It's been almost 7 yrs and the neighbors still don't talk to me. But there again, I don't give them much of a chance.

As too REHAB Donna, that's ALL been done and I have the court papers to prove it.

Thanks for the Welcome y'all!!!

BRay-thanks for checking in with us-and for sharing your story-Just wanted to say welcome- and we look forward to getting to know you better

sherri

WELCOME AND THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY.. NICE TO HEAR SOME MORE MEN ON HERE.

BRay... Thanks for such a prompt response to my question... :)
I am sorry that you have to endure so much judgement from others... something we can relate to in some ways... different, but judgement all the same. People should be more careful to know ALL of the facts before jumping to conclusions....

Welcome! I'm also glad to have another male aspect on things here. I must admit that reading you story made me mad. I assume things like this happen a lot to guys. Any woman screams rape and boom they are a sex offender. As a matter of fact My guy has a close friend (he met him inside) who is going through a similar situation, he was sentenced to life. He had sex with a girl at a college party, the rest is a long story but also a devistating one. I've met his family and they are wonderful people. I wonder how that girl goes to sleep at night knowing she put someone in prison for life who isn't guilty.
Well anyway, Glad to have you and hope to hear from you more often.

Bray...again a welcome from here. I have a brother-in-law in Texas Sate prison for a sex crime, he had been in prison for a drug related crime, got out and his wife was living with another man. Her daughter (his step) was 17 and they got together and within a week he was back in jail for rape. Even though it was consentual. The man his wife was living with moved out when he got out until he went back in.

So, I guess what I am saying, there is always two sides of the story. Unfortunately, those that cry "wolf" make it hard for those that really are raped and hurt.

so, welcome and I look forward to hearing your point of views. We are a GREAT group of people here. Don't forget to join us on Tuesday nights at 8:00 p.m. Central time for our live chat. We have a great time and get into some great conversations.

Joy

Thank Y'all, it's still a bit strang talking about what was so many years ago. I have made the internet a safe place for me. A place where friends don't need to know, what was and except what there is to offer in the present. It fills a need to be able to reach out from the prison on the streets! Guys like me are NEVER free!

Advise, sure.....you gals need to keep your guy when he returns on the LOW KEY side, reguardless of what he wants! It ain't over until parole is done! It's still doing 'time' on the outside. Dot every i and cross every t, what every the system wants! And that is a subject that needs to be talked about NOW. He mind must be made up along that line BEFORE getting out!! To keep things as hassel free as possible, he must learn to live a meek, mild mannered life style starting from the get-go with his PO and keeping it that way. YOU and his PO are to be the only two that are important at this time. Dreams, wants come later IMO

sorry I'm so late but welcome from me too. It must be kinda hard to be so open about it, especially to total strangers. but we don't judge. I'm glad you found this forum, because you will be able to put another light on certain things

Welcome from me too!! I am sorry to hear what is going on with you..seems that there is alot of distortion when it comes to sex crimes-I know of a man who is facing 20 years because he had gotten 2 girls pregnant at the same time (one was 17 and one 1 week shy of her 17 birthday and he is 20) and when the younger found out she told her mother and the woman had him arrested for rape??!! well anyway welcome hee and just know that we are a judgment free society here!

BRay...
Just 1 more welcome from me also...sorry it's a little late.
I am also sorry about your situation.
I have been looking on this site for a while before I sent in my introduction & the people in here are really nice & non-judgemental.
Hope to hear more from you.

Diona

The devil did it!

Since I first sign on here I've just came in and posted. Tonight I posted a L_O_N_G post in reguards to Eva's situation (somewhere?) and it went POOF because I wasn't signed in.... :-((

A person sure can get LOST in this system!! I'm still learning how it operates. So far, I just look at the dates to see what's current.

Basicely I said that an RSO needs to find some 'worth' outside of the home front and work. That is the KEY in dealing with this "never" a free person. BAH BAH BAH ;-)

Welcome (belatedly) to PTO. My name is Tracy and I live in Florida. I know you said you were in California, but I have an interest in sexual offenders because my husband is currently serving 15 yrs as one. We also have a forum here at PTO specifically relating to sexual offender problems. We would love to have you join us there.

Look forward to getting to know you better.

Tracy

BRay-Can't tell you how glad i am to see your posts-and glad you feel comfortable talking to us about your life-this is a really comforting group, very accepting and a lot of unconditional love-helps us all open up, I think. I honestly think some of the best people around are right here at PTO-Please keep coming back-and posting-we are all one big family
much love

sherri

BRay,
Glad you didn't die OR leave the country! :cool: I have read alot of your posts and see you have alot of insight and I am happy to be here at PTO and happy your here, too. Also, regarding the visitation thread, yes the sports bra is what the female CO told me about when I first encountered the metal detector situation. Thanks for the input cause the last thing I need is to have my visits held up for any reason!

Blessings!
Mrs. H

That is just too funny!! Here I thought I was bouncing off an unrelated wall, and it turns out to be right on target. LOL

WOW, thought my situation would be buried real deep in here by now. Leaving the country is still an opinion!

B-Ray, I never saw this introduction and I'm so glad Mrs. H updated it for us. You are wonderful here and I'm so glad to have gotten to know you! I enjoy your many posts as many of them make me smile!

Your friend in Connecticut!

Pamela

B-Ray

I feel funny saying Welcome, as I am so new here myself! But Welcome. Also with so many posts you have been here for a while!

You know it is terrible that people tend to judge based on the past. Now there are many ways to look at any situation and forgetting history is not the way to go - we need to remember history so that we don't repeat it. BUT... What happened in the past does not always define who we are today - too many people forget this. Too many people out there who judge have been something different in the past themselves, but they continue to judge based on your past forgetting their own.

I met my partner after he was incarcerated and his biggest concern came when I started to ask questions... He was terrified that I would go the way that too many others have in the past and judge him based on his past instead of the person that he is today. It took him many months to become comfortable with the fact that what I needed to know was necessary for me to define (in my own head) where he was and where he is now.

My way of looking at anyone is:

I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU COME FROM OR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE IN THE PAST. WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS WHO YOU ARE TODAY AND WHAT YOUR FUTURE AND POTENTIAL IS.

This is the way that I look at everyone and I wish that more did. Most peoples fears are based on ignorance rather than fact and knowledge. When my partner tells me stories from his past, sometimes I don't want to believe that he could and did do some of those things... His "being" now is certainly not capable of doing the things that he did in the past and that is purely from coming to terms with his past and accepting his wrongs and making the decision to become a different and better person. Anyone can change. Not all do - you have to want to. It is however possible for anyone.

Most that have been incarcerated will have to carry some baggage around for the rest of their lives. This is unfortunate but true. Keep your attitude strong and as long as you know in your heart and mind that you are the person you want to be then it does not matter what others think.

Ken
_________________
Dream and Believe

BRAY:

I too never saw this introduction!

And you and I have been friends for ages!

Menolly

Well, out of the shaddows and into the spot light again. It's one of those things that one would rather it would just fade away.

I posted in hopes that others could see what an S/O has to go through (at least this one) along with what is known how society reacts. It's still not comfortable with things laid out as they are, even behind a monitor and a screen name.

It's a sickening feeling knowing, what ever time is left, that S/O tag will always be there! And one MUST learn how to live in this condition, if he and those with him are going to servive Societies onslot! It take a number of years, living almost a hermit life style to get people settled down to the fact, there's an S/O in the neighborhood! My neighborhood has been quite for about 5 yrs now and I intend to keep it that way! One advantage I have (if it can be called that) is the neighborhood knew me for 5 yrs before I was ordered to register as an S/O after almost 30yrs. It didn't stop the uproar for a couple of years (declining degree's) tho!

I hope Mrs. H doesn't feel she opened a keg of worms, because she HASN'T!!! It's just the facts I live with.

Bray;

Nothin's changed in anyone's attitudes around here. At least not mine. Too bad the rest of the world can't be so non-judgemental, eh?

It's strange. Since people here in my "real life" know that I write to, and associate with inmates... it is astounding the number of folks who will look furtively around, and whisper to me about "Uncle Harold" or "my brother, Bruce". It's getting to the point IN MY EXPERIENCE that almost every family is affected by the "required silence".

No sickening feelings here, Bray. How 'bout you, my friend?

Menolly

Besides, it was 1960, for crying out loud!

At what point does "punishment" simply become societal revenge, or a need for safety born of FEAR, but not necessarily real danger?

Punishment vs revenge. Perceived danger vs real.

That's a question I often discuss with inmates.

Menolly

A one time ex-con can get a 2nd chance without too much problem as soon as the system, turns them loose. But to add S/O for any reason, isn't the case as has been seen in the media. And the media, in all it's forms, is what sets the mood of Society in this country!

All this reminds me of when I was in the CB's (USNavy). A black dude took a liking to me and I asked him, "how come you don't get out" (of the Navy) I asked?, "I knows where I BEST belong"! He replied. Racisum of the 50's, S/O's today, not much difference from my side of the street.

Bray, I now understand alot more as to why your advice to me early on was that way it was. Kris and I think it is just plain wrong, but you are right about one thing, you can murder someone do your time and have it taken off the record it is the same for every crime as long as it is only committed once, but have a sex crime and you pay for life. Where is the justice in all of this ?