This may sound like a stupid question but I'm having some problems and need some information. How can I tell if my husband is using in prison? He is not in for drug charges but from something that happened because he said he used Meth when he hadn't in a couple years. We met as pen pals so I don't know what he was like before, except from what people that know him tell me and how his family is. They are all addicts and most in jail and prison! He has had clean UAs for the past two years (since we've been married) and he reminds me of that all the time. The problem is, his ex cellie (was transfered) and another guy in his yard have both told me he has a drug problem! :eek: A bad one from what they say. :( I asked him about it (descreetly, of course)and he blew up in a letter to me! The first time he has ever yelled at me in a letter! I was so hurt and confused, still am! He says he knows who has been filling my head with all this S%#* and that he's gonna have a talk to them!!He stated that all the money I ever sent him and the packages NEVER went for that, but he didn't deny right out having a problem. What do I look for? What signs are there? I have only been around his brother who used Meth heavily but have never been around him or it might even be heroin cause his cellie used to do it! My whole thing is I just want him to be honest with me and then we can deal with the rest together. I have 5 more years to wait and I want to know what's coming home to me. Who is coming home. Can you folks give me any help in telling if he is using? Thank you for listening and for any help you can give!! :cry:

Enjay, I am so sorry for your pain. I can totally feel your pain.
Only help that I can give you is my Son is in prison, and whenever
he was guilty or had been doing something he wasnt supposed to.
Like Drinking or whatever he would get very angry :angry: when I would
approach him about a situation. And when he was not guilty and I would
ask him about something, he would talk to me, so for myself that is the
only way I could ever get the truth out of him. I wish you all the best.
:grouphug:
Carolyn

With Mike the last time things changed like the way he wrote letters or how often.
But when he was in the county and was using I didn't have a clue his letters were still saying he didn't want to use anymore and blah blah but he was using when he wrote those words. So I guess everyone and everytime could be different because it was with Mike. I wish you the best in finding out what is really going on. The only way I knew for sure was Mike failed his p test. And when he was in the county he came clean months later and told me he was using the whole time he was in the coutny jail. Best wishes

Thank you ladies. I appreciate your help.

Enjay if he is asking for more money, different things in his package, or if he smokes he may ask you to get a different kind, but i would have to agree that the biggest sign(at least the one that would worry me the most) would be the way that he exploded on u in the letter when u asked him. Keep ur eyes and ears open hon bc if he is using eventually he will do something that will give it away.

Sorry i couldn't be more help good luck to u and i hope that ur worries are unneeded ones.

magoosbabygirl

My husband also has an addiction problem. I worry about him using inside too, especially since its supposed to be easier to get. I tend to look at his behavior from when he was home, when faced with something that he was guilty of he would get angry and want to argue. So I would have to say the anger would worry me. Just like magoos said keep your eyes open eventually he will do something to give it away. Good luck and I hope all your worries are for nothing and that he is being good.

Thank you all. He is now in the hole as of the 11th of Dec. He will be in for 90 days and then they are transfering him. Do any of you know if it is possible for him to get drugs while he is in the hole? Maybe this is the time he needs to straighten up. I just am so worried. When they transfer him he will be 12 or 15 hours from me so I won't be seeing him much!

He did stop writing me for awhile and then started up again and we wrote novels to each other! I got mail almost everyday. Then it stopped again and he kept telling me he WAS writing but that the prison wasn't getting them to me. Then he finally admitted that he wasn't and promised he would do better and didn't. Then he went to the hole. He has been using stress as an excuse for all this. Now that I look back and hear what you have said, it seems like drugs to me too. I wish I knew how to get him to talk to me, to get things out in the open.

I hate to say it, but it does sound like drugs to me as well, but it may not be, I can't say for sure cause I don't know how your husband is. But what you just said is just like what mike would of said and then tell the truth but not the whole truth. I wish I could tell you somthing to make you feel better cause I know how much it does hurt to have a loved one go back to drugs again. And if he is like any of the addicts I have known he won't tell you until he feels like it he will deny it until he thinks it is time to tell you and sometimes that could be a long while. Maybe if you can talk to him and let him know where you stand on the issue (ex if you were't going to leave him and you want to try to help him) then it might help him to talk to you about it, but again you could have to repeat this to him many times, at least I did to Mike and my sister never did tell us until she was clean. So everyone is differnt
I wish you the best hon keep your head up though
we are here for you

(((((((((((((enjay)))))))
I am sorry that you are going through this. MOst of the time that if my gut was telling me he was using, then more often than not he was. I wanted to believe soooooo bad that I could be wrong, but if I had to ask, then usually I already knew the answer, even if I didn't want to know the answer. I don't know if your hubby is but maybe if it's what you think. I am not sure that you can say anything about it or not. He might be so deceived again that to tell the truth from the false might be impossible at this point.
I wish you both the best!

The biggest thing is to let him know that you are not judging him. Let him know how you feel about it, but also let him know that you love him and that you are not going anywhere. We tend to react with anger when we are feeling guilty. If you don't mind me asking, what's he in the hole for? It does sound to me from what you are saying that he may be using. Let him know that you just want to help him and to be there for him and to do that you have to understand what's going down. Be prepared for more denial and anger. Don't personalize it. It's the drugs talking. Just keep writing and being there for him. He will tell you eventually.

Thank you to all of you. I will show him I love him and that I'm here for him. Hopefully he will come to the right conclusions.