As many of you know I met Sebastian after the fact of his incarceration. I was in constant phone contact with his family especially his mother but when it came to meeting her for face to face for the first time I was scared to death. Of course all went well and she visits my home frequently now. We appreciate one another and express that in our relationship. His dad, sister, cousins, nephews are also regulars at my Sunday dinner table and we are enjoying one another very much.

My children are grown and living in California while I live in Illinois. My youngest son is here visiting with me for his 18th birthday after not seeing him for two years. Things are going well so far and he and Sebastian will meet for the first time today, they are both looking forward to it. I am excited as well for him to meet some of my family and will post an update once the deed is done.

So how about you and your loved ones? How is time with family going, whether it is first time meetings or reconnecting? Please share...

As Always,
Patty

Dinner with the inlaws was still a little unsettling. I got some cold sholders and cautious stares. I think this was perpetuated by her sisters when I was first arrested and they haven't dealt with things well. They're a little upity towards us.

busman ~ is it getting better, I mean do you think they will eventually come around?

I wonder that. There are times I think that if anything happened to Brens parents that thr "love ' would end. The real issue I have with this is my childrens relationships with aunts uncles and cousins would diminish and that's a shame. We even talked about this this weekend.
One of her sisters has a son they addopted that never could break his family ties and is now in juvie awaiting his 18th b-day so he can be free to do what he wants and his ideas will shortly kill him or land him in jail and he seams ok with that. Well the sister and her husband are seeing things differently, and are even willing to let me talk with him to try and reach him but he doesn't want to change his mind. There is a little empathy there, Also there is another sister in wisconsin that seems to be taking it all ok but she is saved. There is just that one that will be the thorn in my side as long as I'm alive basically.

Even though my baby is still in, i get on very well with his mum. Ive met her a few times. She is a very lovely and spcial lady. I have met some of his family too. All went real well. They really liked me and vice versa. They made me feel real relaxed.
In April me and my eldest son are flying over to see my baby. It is going to be the first time that theyre gonna see one another. They are looking forward to it very much. know that my son is going to be very shy, but i'm sure after a while Jerry is gonna make him relax.

Good luck with the meeting of your son and Sebastian, Patty. Make sure you keep us updated. I'm sure that it'll all go well! :)

Well busman you seem to be handling this well, thinking of others, I'd expect nothing less from you. I'll be thinking of and praying for your nephew and for the last sister to come around.

All the best to you and yours,
Patty

Well as for his family I never stopped talking with them. I kept in touch with all of them while he was in. There is his daughter though that I would love to be more involved with. She lives in Virginia with her mom and her mom and I do get along. But since Phil has been out I don't talk to her (the mom)that much. His daughter is 8 yrs. old. I got to see her a couple of times while he was in but I try not to push too hard with her. She hardly knows her dad so I kind of step back. We are going to try and get her this next summer like the custody is supposed to go but due to the fact she doesn't know us very well we have decided if she doesn't feel comfortable we won't push her. Right now he is trying to get any relationship he can with her over the phone and sending her all kinds of toys. I would rather her have more of a relationship with her dad and brother and then she can get to know me.

I was lucky in the sense that I always had a good relantionship with his family even the many years we were split up and even after he was married to someone else so time with his family is going well,nothing much out of the ordinary for me as that relationship was always there for me even more so then him at some points.For many years he was on drugs and didn't have time for his family so he has been reconnecting with them now and its great! He is really bonding with his Mom and all of his brothers and sisters.However his cousins who are good friends of mine are not to forgiving and haven't really given him a chance yet! Their loss I say......
As far as my family goes none of them care much for him and haven't since we were youngsters and ended our very messy relationship.They are starting to give him a chance now though because they see he has changed and they know I am in this for the long haul and plan on spending the rest of my life with him,he saw them for the first time on Christmas and things went very well :)

My son Christian met Sebastian yesterday. We went out for lunch and then to the mall. The guys acted as though they were long lost buddies. I basically listened, nodded occasionally and followed them around from one sports apparel store to the next.

When we got home they hung out for a while listening to music. My son loaned him a CD he thought he would enjoy. Later after Sebastian had left I asked Christian what he thought and he said he liked him alot.

Today Sebastian picked him up and took him to hang out with his cousins and show him a few local sites. Christian had a good time and I know it made Sebastian happy that my son has specifically asked if he could come back and take him somewhere.

My son leaves for California tomorrow but I'm satisfied that we built a foundation for which will strengthen our future relationship. He's already talking about when he comes back!

One less thing to worry about,
Patty

I am so happy to hear everything is going good with your son and Sabastain. That has got to be a great feeling for you Patty!! I am so happy for you and everything going good in your life. Everyone on this site knows that you definetly deserve the best.

Salena

Thanks so much Salena that was a sweet thing to say and I truly appreciate it.

Sebastian just mentioned to me that while he was out with my son he asked him if we were going to get married. I had already answered that yes we intended to get married. Sebastian told him the same thing. I think my baby is growing up and wanted to make sure we were on the same page. I thought it was sorta creepy at first but I'm glad he was comfortable asking what he wanted to know and Sebastian had no problem with him asking...

Patty