My boyfriend was charged with assault against me.
We were at a friends house drinking...I got really drunk and started hitting him...after a while he got really mad and hit me back, and made my lip bleed. That is when the friends called the cops...so he got arrested. I didnt say anything to them about whether this happened or not, but they said they had 3 witnesses (the friends). What I want to know is if I should write a statement to the DA defending him. I would say that he didnt hit me. I have not been subpeonaed, but I feel that I should have some say in this. Should he ask his lawyer about this or should I do it before it is too late? His trial is in 3 wks. Please help...If he gets convicted he is also convicted of probation violation, and he has other assaults (from 1994)...so he is looking up to 3 yrs in prison :( ...and please no "you shouldnt be with him if he hits you" stuff- Thanks!

will they arrest you as well then for assault?

I don't know the laws of your state, but I know that in Ohio the one who has the control of the situation will be the one to go. I would ask a lawyer about it.

If you had the signs of being hit when the police showed up, that is why they arrested him. He assualted you. That is why he was arrested for assault, because he did it, wether you provoked it or not.
It won't matter if you drop charges, its the state against him, based on the marks on your face. You should do yourself a favor and find a relationship that is more healthy and less violent where you won't need to hit each other, then nobody has to worry about going to prison. Stick with this one, and you will eventually find that it doesn't stop there. A man who hits women will always hit you. If you like being hit, stick with that relationship.. or find someone who doesn't hit you, and avoid all that crap.

If you were the one that lost it and you were beating on him and he finally snapped and hit you back, well heck yeah, I think you should tell the DA that. And Spongebob has a point, in that all of this can be avoided by not hitting each other.
If the story behind the story is that he hit you first and you're trying to get him off the hook, my advice would be don't do it. Let the state take over the case and get a restraining order.

My son went through something like this. He and his gf were argueing. She said throw me the phone. He did. It hit her in the eye and she got a black eye. Her parents called the police. (They were living at parents' house.)
During discovery, in court, she said she was very high (on her Mom's drugs by the way) and couldn't catch the phone. She wanted to drop charges. Like somebody said, it becomes a state case. There was nothing she could do to drop it. My son got a 5 yr felony sentence for domestic assault.
One note, after discovery, he pled guilty because he was told he could sit in county for up to a year waiting for a trial if he didn't. Our county jail is over 100 yrs old, in a dungeon. They are finally building a new one now. He might have had a chance for a lessor charge if he had not pled guilty. And if he had it to do over again, he would never plead guilty to anything.
By the way, that girl and her parents let him move back in after we bonded him out; against my wishes. "this is their minds on drugs" ...all 4 of them.

well i wasnt asking for your opinions on whether or not we should be together...im pretty pissed that you even bother to reply if you are just going to judge other peoples relationships and say to leave him when you dont even know us...but for the others who replyed, thanks for answering my question.:angry:

Emit,

I think that only you can truly answer this question for yourself. I think that you know that you want to go and tell the lawyer what really happened and i think that you should. The only thing about that is that it may reverse the charges to you. For you are the one who intiated it.
I hope all works out for the best.

I don't understand why you didn't say something when the police arrived at the house because I think the situation could have been resolved then and there. It takes time for them to get there after the call. Did you not wash your face and mouth, or you just stayed bloody til the cops came. It seems like you got carried away with hitting him and he popped you one to bring you back. It seems like the friends would have seen this since they were witnesses and therefore not even called the police at all. Yes, I think you should call the DA and your boyfriend's lawyer following up with a letter (being America is a paper system country meaning what's on paper is what counts) to do what you can to get this stopped because from how you explained it here, you're the one who was out of control and it would be a shame for him to get locked up for that.

Like I said in another thread you wrote, Emit, y'all need to really grow up before you make adult decisions in an adult world. You write about something like domestic violence and then get pissed if people tell you that you shouldn't be in a violent relationship? Oh well girl, that's what people are going to say. That's the real world, and you need to deal with it.

Planning to tell the DA in a sworn, I would assume, statement, that he didn't hit you when in fact he DID? Not smart. Neither is drinking too much and getting stupid enough to smack around someone you supposedly love. Your friends who were there should have separated the two of you before this got out of hand.

So yell at me too, but I got a LOT of years and experience on you. You two are toxic for each other. Do each other a favor and cut your losses and end this.

i actaully went through a simmular situation.... my husband and myself went out one night.. I ended up gettin in to a fight.. with 2 girls mind u i am a small person bout 120 lbs.. both these girls were big Very big girls i was under one of them and the other was above me (behind) hittin me.. my husband came out of the bar and saw it.. he then took the one that was on me off.. cops got called theyu arrested HIM!!for assulting ME.. they would not take a statement from me because i had been drinkin.. the girls were to they took their statements... i tried gettin it all dropped and tried & tried still nothing so i went and bailed my husband out.. it just is wrong that h egot that charge for more or less protecting his wife..

Same kinda thing happened to me recently. I was arguing with my then boyfriend and he beat me. I called the police cuz I was really scared. But then things blew up and he is still at Riker's Island. I dropped charges, but the State picked up the charges. He is now facing parole violation and new charges. Although I dropped charges, they wouldn't let him go. They subpeonaed me and I had to testify against him. You need to talk to the DA office and his Parole Officer. best is for you to get a lawyer and when you're subpeonaed have your lawyer go in for you and tell them you're not testifying against him. I hope this helps...

Ok, everyone breathe!! We're here to support, not to judge. She asked that no one lecture her, so i can see why she got mad when you did. If you can't respond without lecturing her, please dont!

Emit, you probably can't drop the charges.
You should NOT lie.
In TX (where I'm from) you'd be lucky you didn't get put in jail too.
So count your blessings.
And please don't get in more legal trouble by lying.

Julie

So as to avoid opening an old can of worms here, I'm closing this thread.