OMG:eek: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:
Somebody needs to talk to me b/c I really feel like I am losing it.
I took everyones advice and had the # changed. I already have caller-id, so before the # was changed she'd call and block the #.(as if I don't know who calls my house. The previous # was only given to select people, the only person I know that calls "private" is my father -in-law)

Both him and I have had several joint conversations with her over the weekend,(before I changed the #)explaining that we are together and she needs to leave it be. That she is disrupting our family.
She then called all weekend, I was furious, and would make him answer,( I thought if she got whatever she had to say off her chest, she would let go) she keeps pleading with him, that she can't live without him in her life, he is her best friend(more like drug buddies) Eventhough he has only talked to her 2x's since his arrest on Sept 4th. Which to me is strange, she could go without even talking to him for 3 months, but now that he's home she can't live without him

SO I CHANGED THE #
and within 24 hours of the new # being in effect, SHE CALLED!!!:angry:
NO ONE had even had the # yet, not even family, NOT EVEN HIM!!!
I was going in work a little later, and I guess she figured she was avoiding me, she called when she tought I was at work. Of course she hung up on me.
When I got to work I called the phone company and they said the only way anyone was able to get the # is if they worked for the phone Company~which her father does, he's upper management.

Of course I called her, I was calm at first, I asked her again why she kept calling my house? and how did she get the #, her response "you can change your # a 100 times, I'll still find it out, I have my ways, and you are not telling me that I have to stay out of his life, I'll call whenever I want":eek: :eek: I am obviously dealing with a fatal attraction here. She also told me she only wants to be friends with him, so I can't keep her away from him, no matter what.
I tried to explain to her why it bothers me so much, the whole drug interaction and everything, she does not care. She is not threatening me, so I don't know how to get the police involved. She actually does not even want to talk to me, or harrass me, she just want to talk to him....50 times a day.
I'm at my wits end:angry: :angry: Both him and I agree that she is making our life a living hell. I can't even enjoy the fact that he is home, b/c of all this bullsh**!
He is just anti-cops and dosen't want to go that route, and also dosen't want me to take into my own hands for fear that she may sue us (everything is in my name) We just want her out of our lives.
Please give some advice...I'm desperate!!!!

I still say take a restraining order out or move away and not have a phone.

ONE

Get the law involved, that way you will have grounds to make her life hell when she keeps this up. As long as there is a restraining order in place, anytime she contacts you she violates and can be arrested. A trap and trace can be put on your line when you pull a restraining order and even upper management can't remove it because it's there by police order. Good luck.

Get the police involved, she's stalking you...
and if she's making threats and what not
what's your man doing about all this?

That's my problem, she's not really threatening me. She just won't stay out of our life. Tons of phone calls a day, for no reason, just to hear his voice.



Get the police involved, she's stalking you...
and if she's making threats and what not
what's your man doing about all this?

You should start a log now if you already havent with each any every time she calls the time, date and if she hangs up or talks with him. Dont erase the caller id. GET the law involved before she does something stupid to harm you or your family or jeopardize his freedom.

ONE

That's my problem, she's not really threatening me. She just won't stay out of our life. Tons of phone calls a day, for no reason, just to hear his voice.
why don't you change phone companys so she cannot got your phone number? or disconnect the home phone and only use cell phones?

Turn off your home phone and use cell phones, she won't be able to get the number that way. Also report her father to the phone company, he is upper management but he is probably going against company policy giving out a number that is private even if he gives it 100 times he can lose his job for that. If she isn't threatening you I don't see how you can get a restraining order against her, you can't get one just because someone is calling and bugging you. He needs to stop talking to her. I read you other post and I understand that you are worried about her saying stuff that can get him sent back to prison but I think ignoring her is the best way to go.

Do keep track of all the calls and if she hung up or what she said. If she does try to get your man locked up again you can show that she is only doing it to get back at him.

I wish you luck and will pray for you.

I AGREE IF YOU DONT WANT TO CALL THE POLICE, SWITCH PHONE COMPANIES OR JUST TURN IT OFF ALL TOGETHER AND GET A CELL PHONE. MAKE SURE SHE DOESNT HAVE YOUR HOME ADDRESS EITHER. I HAVE DEALT WITH A PYSCHO PERSONE BEFORE AND ITS NO FUN HAVING TO RUN OR HIDE....

Agree with the others but lean towards the cops being involved. I hope this all works out and she gets a clue soon. Also, I agree with reporting her father because I'm sure that is a big no-no.

What she is doing now is harassment, plain and simple. File a police report and press charges. Then, report her father. Get cell phones for now. Telling her isn't getting it - you have got to take other actions, NOW. Be safe.

Sailormoon is right on the money. Your guy may be anti-cop but I'm sure he's not anti-peaceful happy life. Someone needs to give this fatal attraction a wake up call and the authorities are a good start. Aren't you suppose to be blissfully happy right now? Its even making me feel angry.

I would definitely report her father to his superiors. Calmly explain the situation. Someone will discuss it with him at the very least, causing him great embarrassment. For all you know she could have given her father some lame story to get him to get the number for her and if he found out the truth , that coupled with the hassles on the job might get him to stop assisting her in this behavior.

I'm not big on calling the cops, however, if I thought this might rise to a level (and I do) that it could somehow cause problems for my man and his newly gained freedom then I'd do what I had to do to prevent that.

Best of luck to you,
Patty

Get the police involved. Many of us and our loved ones don't like cops, but you may as well use what you can to your advantage. I know it may sound extreme, but you need to cover your a** and you man's. You never know what a "person" like that might do if you actually make her mad and try to make her accept that she can't be with your husband. Just having the police reports to back you up would help immensely. You don't even have to file charges, just file the reports to keep you safe and protected, just in case. You never know what a pyscho might do. Really. And I would report her father as well. In writing.
Cover Your A**!!!!

Jenn

I think in lieu of you having to take the matters into your own hands...that your man should talk to her straight and tell her it's over. You can't fix this thing she has with him -- only he can. Police or no police, if she believes that there is a remote chance that she can get your man...she will continue to pursue him. He has to step up to the plate and let her know it's not like that anymore.

We cannot protect our men forever...they have to be the man and take care of business. The fact that you've had to change your number and go into some type of secret hiding is riduculous...by doing that you are letting her win.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh...but I'm not going to let anyone change my way of life --- if someone thinks they can take my man...and he goes...then he wasn't mine in the beginning...but if he stays with me...then he has to deal with these psycho's and get it through their head that he's with me and only me.

Good luck girl....life is to short to deal with drama

Carla

I think in lieu of you having to take the matters into your own hands...that your man should talk to her straight and tell her it's over. You can't fix this thing she has with him -- only he can. Police or no police, if she believes that there is a remote chance that she can get your man...she will continue to pursue him. He has to step up to the plate and let her know it's not like that anymore.

We cannot protect our men forever...they have to be the man and take care of business. The fact that you've had to change your number and go into some type of secret hiding is riduculous...by doing that you are letting her win.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh...but I'm not going to let anyone change my way of life --- if someone thinks they can take my man...and he goes...then he wasn't mine in the beginning...but if he stays with me...then he has to deal with these psycho's and get it through their head that he's with me and only me.

Good luck girl....life is to short to deal with drama

Carla

You're absolutely right!:thumbsup: This is what I told him, he created this situation, he needs to get us out of it. He has had several conversations with her, explaining he loves his family, and no one , or no drug is ever coming between him and his family again. She initially took it well, saying "wel you have to do what you have to do", he was so proud of himself that he was able to clearly state what he needed to do, he was happy it went down without drama. Well that was short lived, cause then she went to 0-Glen Close(fatal attraction) in 10 seconds.
He finally went buck wild on her a** on Friday, he read her the riot act, she kept calling back asking why he was being this way, HELLO-what does it take for this girl to get the message!!! Well, no calls this weekend, bu tI wouldn't be so sure she didn't try to call today, being that she knows I'm at work.

omg! what is this hoes deal? girl, this is really freaky and this lil yougin sounds like she needs a good hard a** kicking! you have to realize that she will NEVER wake up umnless legal action is taken. you have tried EVERY other alternative. one word to solve it all RESTRAINING ORDER. she cant get past that. yes it may cost a little bit, but she seems to be getting worse and worse. she is feeding off all of this attention, negative or positive, she just wants SOME kind of connection to him. once that is cut off, what else can she do? change her name, hair color and sexual orientation? i mean damn!

Maybe you should talk to her Father, If he gave her your number he may not know why. If he realizes how out of control she is he may step in and help you.

usually, with this sort of harrasment/stalking...you cannot even talk to them for a minute, it keeps them going..

i would suggest neither of you talking in any shape or form to her....

i don't know what info she has that she could use to get him in trouble...if it is real/serious, can she prove it, for she may just look like a fatal attractiion trying to get back at him..so he could deny her allegatiion, and then get the phone harrasment restraining order, she must stay away a certain amoung of feet from your hoome, his and your work etc...otherwise, i understand not waanting to put a restraining order...

so, sorry you have to deal with such nonsense...
but, neither of you even give her a second, ignore her completly..
hope this situation is resolved asap
francis

usually, with this sort of harrasment/stalking...you cannot even talk to them for a minute, it keeps them going..

i would suggest neither of you talking in any shape or form to her....

i don't know what info she has that she could use to get him in trouble...if it is real/serious, can she prove it, for she may just look like a fatal attractiion trying to get back at him..so he could deny her allegatiion, and then get the phone harrasment restraining order, she must stay away a certain amoung of feet from your hoome, his and your work etc...otherwise, i understand not waanting to put a restraining order...

so, sorry you have to deal with such nonsense...
but, neither of you even give her a second, ignore her completly..
hope this situation is resolved asap
francis
The thing is is that it was a simple assault case~he has a rap sheet that looks like Santa's Christmas List~she has no prior arrests, he was also a parole absconder at the time of arrest, and high as a kite. However the police report states that she was witnessed by an off duty cop repeatedly striking him in the face until he took his right hand and pushed her off of him in which she fell to the ground. He feels that even though in our eyes it was him getting her off of him....in the judges eyes they are just gonna see the fact that he has a previous record. At this point she says she's not personally pressing charges....but he's afraid if we pi** her off she will....

You need to involve the police. She is stalking you for sure, regaurdless of wether she threatens you or not. My husband got 2/7's running wild because of some freak like this. She called and called and then took it upon herself to assault his exwife. She sat in jail a year then told the prosecutor my husband made her do it. So they arrested him. He has been gone a year now. Please don't let her do this. You are being victumized! The law is on your side. Be sure and log everything. I would get a cell phone for sure. Then her dad can't help her. Good luck dear!

Skip her and call the phone company and speak to her father and tell him that his daughter is putting his job at risk. Explain what she is doing and that you are going to tell the police what she said , about have her ways of getting the # no matter how many times you have it changed. Let him know his job is on the line, she might not care about it but i can bet he will...:thumbsup:






That's my problem, she's not really threatening me. She just won't stay out of our life. Tons of phone calls a day, for no reason, just to hear his voice.

DITTO FRYCHIC! Some girls are only scared by there daddy's! Talk to him, you can be sure he won't put a 20 year retirement on the line to help his daughter stalk you.

Don't know your whole story but can you give her father a call and let him know what is going on?? Reason I say this is if he is in management he's most likely bringing home a lap top computer or has a dial in connection to work from a home computer (they do this in case of emergencies or problems or even to do work at home). In my experience working with these men they may be big shots but have little idea of how to work the computer, they get the secretaries or underlings to do things for them alot of the time. She could have found his passcode or since he's an exec he could have an automatic connection she is using, then accesssing areas of the system where she doesn't belong. I know where I used to work they had to make the systems simple to use for the big shots. Her father most likely isn't aware - I'm sure he would not want this information being used this way and would be ashamed. Worse for him I think this what we used to call "proprietary" information and this "proprietary" information must be kept secure at all times. Best of luck, let him know what's happening.

Scarysgirl!!!!
i am so happy he got out earlier, i just noticed that on your post!!

i just read your reply to me..regarding the incident..a policepersons word=testimony weighs more then anything she could say..when a policeperson witnesses the crime and that is what is stated in the police report...it is very hard to beat the case...

however, i totally understand not wanting to get her upset, since there is no predicting what she will do..so of course your guy is going to be concerned with his record, and he just got released...

how are things going...has she mellowed out yet..ususally, if you keep ignoring the person...don't speak to her for even a second, because with stalkers, they take any acknowledgement, even if it is leave me the fxxx alone, they somehow interepret this as oh, he does like me, he is just puting on an act...or some rationalization...

usually, they finally stop, somtimes i don't want to upset you, but it can take a few months..
just both of you ignore her commpletly, not even a tiny fxxx off..

i hope things are calming down!!
and you two can just enjoy your relationship!!! enjoy it regardless, right?!
much peace and love to both of you
francis

:idea:
I suggest getting an answering machine. YOU record a message that says something like, "This is the home of "so & so" and "so & so". If this is Miss Annoying, we believe you have a mental disorder and will no longer be accepting calls from you. Everyone else, please leave a message after the beep." (or you can leave out the "mental disorder" part if you want. I just threw that in!)

I think if she gets this message a few (BIZZILION) times she'll eventually stop. It works great for solicitors & in-laws, also.

I think SBC also has a Call-Blocker that you can purchase. That would be worth looking into.

Good luck with getting on with your life. Happy for you that your man is home.

Okay I appreciate that UK law is different to US law - but if I was getting 50 calls a day I didn't want then under UK law that's harrassment - and having worked for a phone company - giving out confidential information is a sackable offence - I would involve the police (personally) because not only is she harrassing you - and it could become more serious - but that way it's more likely that any allegations she makes could be written off as part of the 'harrasment' .

Hope it all works out for you both.


F

:idea:
I suggest getting an answering machine. ........
Also, if you have an answering machine, you'll have proof of how many times she's tried to call.

I think Carla is right and and maybe he is talking to her and not telling you the whole story. I've seen that happen too-the "crazy" one isn't always so crazy because they've been getting encouragement from somewhere. Get caller id and don't pick up, but don't change your whole life over her. He's not being clear or talking to her on the side to make her think she's his friend. She could be just crazy, but chances are thats not the whole story, because they'll usually leave when not wanted.

Can you also check and see if she has anything on her record like domestic violence, stalking or any charges, see what you are dealing with!

Man...forget all that drama, let someone else handle it and don't stress it. Call the cops on her butt. Let them give her some hell for a change.

Have you tried getting anonymous call rejection? This would strengthen a case if you want to get a restraining order. I recently had to get a restraining order on my daughters ex-boyfriend. The new girlfriend was so jealous of my daughter that she had to keep calling her and taunting her that she now had her man. Well my daughter (only 16 y/o), finally decided it was time to do something. We put in anonymous call rejection and applied for a restraining order for civil harrassment. If you fill it out just right and keep logs on calls and all, whe you appear in court and show ur proof a judge may grant it. This could also fall under stalking. She's calling your phone, not his and hanging up...that's harrassment. See what you can do. I know all those calls were driving me nuts. BUt you can do something about it. I thought about getting cell phones, but anonymous call rejection is not an option on those yet. Good Luck I know it's a pin.

Get a no contact order..she doesnt have to threaten you for one of those. She is harrassing you and you have asked her to stop. you dont even have to call the cops, just go to the court house and file. Quick trip in front of the judge and you have it. Keep track of any time she calls, from what numbers and such..shes obviously not gettin it..so something has to be done.

Ok, I just really don't think her dad is giving her your number. Is it just possible that your man is calling her from your phone and she has caller ID. Try doing this...next time you come home after being gone for an hour or so, pick up your phone and hit REDIAL...see who the phone calls. If it calls this psycho chick, it's because SOMEONE from your house called her. Better yet, change your number again, go to the grocery store or take a long hot shower, and then immediately hit REDIAL. Sorry to say this sad but true fact...men enjoy drama, they like 2 women to "fight" over them.
Good luck and best wishes

I didn't read the whole thread so pardon me if this has already been answered; but what is your man doing about all this? Seems like he needs to be the one to not talk to her on the phone and not take her calls. She must be getting some response from him or she wouldn't keep hanging on it seems to me. Seems to me that your man needs to be the one to tell her to get lost and MEAN it!

I sort of have this same problem but not to your extent thank God. The baby momma calls all the time with every excuse you can think of just to talk to him. She called the first friggin day he was out just after we got home for gawd sake! She wanted money! The first day he got out, give me a break. She calls and he talks to her which kinda makes me mad. I feel like he doesn't need to talk to her that much, he is married to me after all! She calls and tells him all her problems and wants him to help her out with this and that. He is such a pushover that he can't seem to tell her to f** off. I feel though like he has to be the one to tell her not to call so much. If I get involved then it will only pi** them both off, but I do let him know very much how all her calls make me feel.:angry:

hi girl :) just checking in on you...its been a while! you sill have something up about the superbowl which tells me you havent been on in a while! hope you are doing good and all the madness has stopped over that way. keep up girl!

I'm trying to figure out what her father is thinking. Why would someone in upper management risk his job to give his daughter phone numbers so that she can harrass somebody that obviously is not interested in her? :confused: I don't understand that at all.

But you should report him, call the police, and use cell phones. Do whatever you need to do to this get this woman out of your lives.

Good luck :thumbsup: