:angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: Please someone give some answers before I snap at home.He's home and all is good, we are like in love all over again. BUT.....let me just sum it up. We've been together for 10 years, we broke up for a short period of time last year where he dated drug dealer ( he had a severe Xanax habit) , she supplied him with tons of pills, and on the day of his most recent arrest he was high on 60 blue xanax, all given to him by her.
Anyway, he's rehabilitated and clean, and we are happy. She however is not, she won't stop calling my house, telling me to stay off her territory, he was happier when he was with her (yeah, cause he was an addict) blah blah blah. He does not know what to say to her, to get her to stop. She even went as far as telling him that she was gonna kill herself if he didn't come back to her.
Now we have 2 kids 8 and 2. And we are now on our 2nd house we've owned, we are almost 27 years old and have been together for almost 11 years.
They were in their so called relationship for 4 months, 3 of which he spent trying to get back with me. I don't know what to do about this girl. I am so tempted to have her a** kicked by someone her own age (she's 18), but really just want her out of our life. She is looking for a shoulder to cry on, and has told the both of us, she doesn't care how many kids we have, or if we are married for 20 years, she loves him and is going to do anything to have him in her life.
PSYCHO-FATAL ATTRACTION.
Please someone give me some advice, because me and him are starting to get in arguments about it. And everytime she calls I BLOW THROUGH THE ROOF, my blood pressure soars....PLEASE HELP!!!!

Scary get a protective order and document every thing. If possible, record the phone calls too. You were not kidding, she does sound psycho. Y'all stay safe and good luck.

girl as much as you have been thru to get this man home, i dont blame you! but 18 year olds are sometimes immature and dramatic, so that didnt surprise me much when you said her age. you need to tell her look here little girl~you dont know what you are getting yourself into and how would you feel if i was trying to break up your family. there are plenty more fish in the sea, so stay away from my shark! he needs to say something to her too. for real. that s**t aint cool! that is your man, your family, protect it like a pit bull girl ;) ~ashtynn

There is nothing you can say to her that is going to make a difference. She is clearly mentally unstable and your husband is her target and you are an obstacle. I know it's hard, but try to take deep breaths when she calls and don't let her know you're upset. The more you and your husband fight, the more he may be tempted to go to her. Try your hardest to keep everything calm and pleasant. This is a bad situation for you and your husband, but try to make it one that bonds rather than divides.

Yeah, this crap infuriates me just repeating it. I didn't want offend any one about the age thing. Cause there could be mature 18 year olds and then ther can be her!

I was 18 once too, but at the time we were raising a 1 year old, he worked full time, I went to college full time, and worked part time. So at 18 I was not interested in all this he said/she said crap.

Thanks for the support, ladies! And actually I am proud of him on how he is handeling things. He finally told her the other night that she is causing problems between me & him by calling. Her response, was "that's the point". She has even gone to the point to have one of her friends stalk out the neighborhood we live in to see where the house is. She talks a big game to him about me, but when I'm put on the phone she's scared to death, or just hangs up on me. I think she knows she's wrong, but is gonna go to any extent to get him on the phone to feel soory for her. He said to her the other night that he already fu**ed up his family situation once, he ain't doing it again, and that there's nothing to talk about between the 2 of them. Yet she calls, her sister calls, her best friend calls etc.
My next move is changing my #.....

Go to the surpreame court and order a restraining order..REcord any phone calls or threats too..Oh and yo can change your numbe putting it in one of your kids names or someone elses.Sounds scarey..I hope all works out God bLess

change the #. i am not kidding girl. this woman sounds out of her damn mind insane! :shake: gosh he has enough with adjusting from prison, let alone this crazy hoe starting problems, how overwhelming! and i agree with you on the maturity thing, i was having a child at 18 too, i dont get the whole immatuity thing very well either. but yes, you have to find a way to get away from her, doesnt sound like she is going to let up anytime soon! document document document!!

Something doesnt sound right. Please dont take this the wrong way, but why is he even having conversations with her? The instant he hears her voice, he needs to hang up and call the police, and make a report. Harrassment is against the law and while it is hard to prove, repeated police reports will eventually prove his point and the police will take action. I wouldnt give this girl the time of day, just hang up the phone! I would probably give her 1 warning that you will not be speaking to her again and all calls will be reported, and that would be it!

Here's the whole thing with him trying to be civil to her....The day of his arrest, he was originally arrested for simple assault.(He was meeting her to get more free drugs) He dosen't remember the day, (too drugged up), so I obtained a copy of the police report. It states that an off duty police officer made a call to 911 when witnessing a female(her) assaulting a male(him). They were both arrested for simple assault. He has never had an assault on his record, but was held in custody due to a parole violation. She was ROR, and went home. She told everyone he was in there for assault and battery (I was furious). Now the DA is trying to get her to testify against him, which will give him a 2nd offense against his Philly probation, therefore giving hm his back time of 5 years. Any way I've been bitting my tounge with this girl, as so he, for fear that if she gets a stick up her a** about something, she'll press charges, and then there he goes back to jail again. It has been very hard to stay calm over this matter, but me and him have come along way from this, and he knows, that he can not even be a casual friend to this girl, because she fuels his addiction. And anyone whoo has lived with an addict, knows that taking one pill will set off the whole addiction.
We both know that the way she works with him is that she almost promotes thae fact that she has pills to try to lure him to hang out with her. If she really loved him like she claims, she would think of his best interest, not another way to party with him.

document everything and change your number.

You are blaming her too much about the pills. She wasn't I'm sure forcing them dowm his throat-it was what he wanted to do. You can justify he was with her for tha, but he was with her because he wanted to be nad that was his choice. He has to deal with what he did. If she wants to go to court, he'll have to face that. If he wants to cut off contact with her, he will. Change the phone number-thats stops all harrassing calls and get caller id so you know whose calling beforehand and you never have to even speak to her. Get a reatraining order also and have her arrested if she violates it. There area lot of ways to handle this, but if you're worried about her snitching on him. It's her right to talk about anything she so chooses and if shes upset, she might very well do that, but he's got to stand up and say no more if thats the way you both really want to go.

I would have to agree with all the others. Restraining order, and changing the number. Definetly record the calls so that you have proof if it does come down to having to file harrassment on her. I know that is risky due to what she can do to him. But it is what first came to my mind was to call the cops. Good luck to you and keep us posted.

I know it sounds like she has the upper hand, but she doesn't. The next time she calls you need to warn her that you are taping the call and proceed to document all calls by taping and file a police report for harrassment! She won't be such a credible witness to the DA's office then. Good luck. And yes I would file that police report asap, and get my number changed asap with privacy manager on my phone. That way no one can call your house using a private number!

Moving this to Now That Your Loved One is Home Forum...

How does she know your number? Why does he bother talking to her? Sheesh I'm evil so in this sitch I'd have my man on a short leash anyhow buttttttttttt what is her motivation if he has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with her. My point is be certain that he is not encouraging her even a little bit. I'm not sAyin he is just want you to be very, very sure cause addiction is a powerful thing to shake i know this first hand and wouldn't play with you on the subject. Ask questions of yourself and of him. I hope this matter is resolved quickly and you and your man can move forward without her as a distraction.

Thinking of you,
Patty

Crazy psychos! What is up with those girlies like that!? I would recommend what everyone else has told you to do. And do them quickly. And keep filing charges. Get a restraining order and any time she calls, report her. Not only record her calls but get a caller id so that you can show where she is calling from.
My man is still locked up and a girl he went out with a few times before going in turned stalker. She still is. He is in prison and had to take a protective order out against her because she kept coming to the prison and demanding to see him. (A few CO's actually offered to look the other way if I would like to beat her if she happened to show up while I was there.) She writes and threatens that if he doesn't write back she is going to make up charges to file against him, even if she has to wait until he comes home to do it and to make up stories to tell me about all the bad things he does so I will leave him and marry her. You'd better believe that I have her original letters and copies of them put up, just in case. Where the Heck do these nuts come from? But yeah Scary, you aren't alone in dealing with nuts. COVER YOUR A**!!!! And prosecute hers. Stalking. Harrassment. Violation of restraining orders. Yeah, there are plenty of ways for you to remove her credibility. If she is still messing with drugs, tip off your local police department's drug enforcement.

Good luck getting rid of her, and let me know how you do it! I might need the info later on.
Jenn

Well, I would suggest a protection order, document everytime she calls and if she continually harrases you, like you say, I would get the police involved. Here in Ohio they have *57, which is when ever you get a harrasing phone call, right after you hang up you dial that (*57). What it does, it sends it to your phone company and they send the information directly to your police station. You can use it in court because other than a caller idea you can use that as proof also. I wish you the best of luck! I hear you on those psycho ex's uuuggghhh. They just need to grow up and move on! LOL

I agree with the DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Like we all know, fighting the system is a tricky thing--paperwork talks!! Keep records of her calls, date, time, what she said, what you guys told her, etc, everything! And don't be afraid of her testifying...people like her will dig her own hole...just give her enough time.

Good luck with it all. Prayers that he stay strong and CLEAN!!