Hello,Iam new here.I just introduced myself yesterday and have been looking for an appropriate place to post my story,I think "domestic violence"pretty much sums it up.I have been married (2nd marriage) for less than a year.We recently moved to his hometown in Florida which took me some 2000 miles away from my family and friends.I will be the first to admit that sometimes I can be difficult to get along with.I suffer from depression and post traumatic stress disorder which I have stopped taking my meds for.When we first moved here,I noticed a change in my husband.He stopped paying attention to me and had a bad habit of hoping from job to job.His excuse was someone "tried me" and he lost his temper and got fired.We have been here two months and he has been fired from three jobs.I knew when I married him that he had anger issues stemming from his childhood abuse but I never thought that he would hurt me.He knows I spent 5 yrs with an abusive ex and promised he would never touch me.Last week,my best friend came to visit me.We had not seen each other in 6 months so I told him ahead of time that she was only here for 4 days and that I would be spending almost all of my time with her.He is always out with his friends anyways so I didnt think it would matter.The abuse started when my girlfriend got here.He was accusing me of cheating on him and said that her and I were lesbians,etc etc etc.I couldnt take the arguments so I went to stay at the hotel with my friend for a couple nights.He stalked me while I was there,leaving notes on the car,the hotel door and left me threatening messages in my email saying that when I came home,he was going to kill me.he also said that if I did not come home ,he was going to kill himself.On friday night my friend and I went to my house to get some clothes for me to wear out that night.He came home and started a fight with me and was accusing me of cheating again.He then started to threaten my friend and we she spoke up to defend me ,he got violent with her.He didnt hit her,but he threw an end table at her and pushed her out of the house.She went outside and called the police.While she was doing that,he pushed me in the hallway where I fell into the bathroom door.He started tearing up all of my clothes and throwing them outside.The police arrived and I told them that I would leave for the night.He continued to stalk me,make threatening calls to me and my friend.After my friend left to go back home,I returned home.It was the usual,flowers,cards and apologies.The abuse started again when I refused to have sex with him.I was tired and dont want to get pregnant either.When I refused he got violent again.He threw my TV through the wall,tore up my furniture,ripped the sofa and destroyed all of my sentimental things(even pictures of my kids and family)He pushed me several times and when I pushed him back in self defense ,I hit him with my purse.He became enraged and started to choke me.I was able to break free and lock myself in the bathroom.He then took a butcher knife from the kitchen and began stabbing my stuffed animals(I have a Disney collection)and cutting their heads off.I opened the door long enough to make sure that my cats were okay when I saw what he was doing to my stuffed animals.He would open the bathroom door and throw in the tore up Mickey and Minnie mouse dolls to make sure I saw what he was doing.When the police arrived,he was gone but they later went to his mothers house and arrested him.While he was locked up,he called me crying begging for forgiveness and said he would get counseling.He got out of jail today and I can tell by his attitude that nothing has changed.He still blames for what happened and says that if I would just shut my mouth,he wouldnt have to be violent with me.He also says that I abuse him(i have only raised a hand to him in self defense)He has alientated me from my entire family so I cannot call them for help and they live 6 states away.My best friend wants me to live with her and she is doing everything she can to help me.She lives in Ohio and it would be hard for me to go back to the cold weather....My next dilemma:my best friend introduced me to her fiance's best friend whom I have strong feelings for.He is in prison in Ohio.He is sweet and loving and treats me with respect.We dont see each other much because he is so far away,but he writes and calls almost everyday.He will be out in 6 months and we plan on being together.I planned on leaving my husband before the abuse started so I guess the abuse is what pushed me over the edge.If I move with my friend I will see "Pick" every week when she goes to see her man.My problem is that everytime I get the courage (and money) to leave my husband breaks me down and I end up staying.I am sitting here now trying to think of a way to cover the bruises so I can go to work tomorrow.I stayed home today because my throat is swelled up and I am extremely sore.I guess I need some encouragement that I would be making the right decision to leave him.I am not leaving him just to be with this other man but I want to leave b/c of the way he treats me.I know alot of you have been in this situation and I never thought I would be going thru this again.I am afraid that he will hurt me again and that I might not be so lucky next time.BTW,my children were at their dad's house when this all happened so they dont know anything that went on here.If he was to abuse me in front of my kids,I dont know what I would do....go crazy probably...Does anyone think I am making the right decision by moving away from here?Getting to see my Boo would just be an added bonus....Sorry this was so long,thanks for reading

Girl, get the hell out of there...what would make you think that you aren't making the right decision. You are crazy if you stay...the abuse will only continue and get worse. Eventually, it will happen in front of your kids. He isn't going to change...he will always be the same. You need to get out of there and fast. Don't let him break you down the way he does..now my question to you is...why do you allow it??? You have got to be a stronger woman and get out of there! If you stay you are allowing this to happen because you know it will. You know you need to leave and you are the only one that can take that step, but if I was you I would do it fast!!!!!

What are you waiting for?? Get out now while you are still able to walk out on your own. Otherwise, you will going out in a body bag!! This man is not going to change.

Why dont you ask yourself why you would stay??? In stead of why should I leave. You already now why you should leave, right? at least everyone who reads this knows you should run far far away!! He beats you, flat and simple and believe you me he doesnt care who is there if he hit you with your friend there your kids arent going to matter too him!! You said you would go crazy if your kids were there you should not put your kids or you in the position to be abused ever!!!!

Were you abused as a child*little personal I know but you said you were just coming out of an abusive realationship this seems like a repeating thing to me.... Maybe you should see a counsler or something once you get far far away from him!!
Florida is very harsh on Domestic Violence, there are plenty of shelters that will come pick you and the kids up and do all everything to make you comfortable till you can get on your feet... You should think about that...
One more question? How did he get out of jail so quick???? My brothers ex put him in jail*he did nothing (I was there) he had marks on him and she had nothing but since florida is a no tolerence on abuse state they were going to take both but my brother wouldnt allow it because they had a baby so she got to stay but anyways I had to fight like hell to get him out 3 days later?????

Firstly... Girl you need to get you and the kids out of there!! What are you waiting on? To be carried out by the coroners? I hope not!! I have been in an abusive relationship, so i know what i am talking about. I know that it's not easy. What happens the day that he starts in front of your kids... believe me, it will happen. My ex used to tell my kids to go into their room and play. They knew that the next time that they'd see me that i'd be either bleeding or have bruises or both!! :(
Forntunately, in the end HE LEFT. He only did it because he had another woman, which i encouraged!! He is the father of my youngest son.
Can you not get an injunction/restraining order against him until you have sorted out moving to Ohio?

Secondly... I'm glad that you have found someone who can give you some of what you husband isnt giving you, but i di fel that maybe iut would be better for you and your kids to sort yourself out before you get into anything serious. Give yourself time to find yourself... truly find yourself!!

Good luck,
Tracey x :grouphug:

PS - Im only a PM away.

FLprincess,

You deserve to be happy and in a healthy relationship. Your friend in Ohio is there for you, take advantage of that. Get away from that madness, you don't deserve it, Would you want your children (when they grow up) to be in that kind of relationship? Don't ever think, for a minute, that you need to be dependent on a man. Be strong girl, and HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS!!! You've been down that road before, learn from that and move on, don't look back. Of course this guy is going to plead:cry: with you not to leave and tell you everything you wanna hear, if you keep going back, that tells him that it is okay.

I will be praying for you that you find the strength to leave.

Ok...everytime someone reads my post they must be thinking there is that tough Charleighj again but........your children have got to be your number one priority.
You have got to get your children out of this situation and by doing so you will be safe. Living this kind of life is only teaching your children that this life style is normal and they may repeat the pattern. There are many, many abused shelters that can provide help for you until you can decide what is best for you and your children. What would happen if their father found out they could be living under these circumstances? Children are precious and innocent and gifts to us parents from God. Please find protection for them and yourself. You deserve the love and respect from another human being but give yourself time before you jump into another permanent relationship. I feel so often we females feel somewhat incomplete unless we are in a relationship, (myself included, been there and done that) I pray for you and your family that God keeps you all safe in His care.

Run, don't walk. Better yet fly and leave no forwarding address. I'll say a prayer for you, but really GET OUT NOW!

I have been there and I'll tell you with all the love I can send....GET OUT!!!! I am deaf in one ear from escalating abuse and scared to let anyone come near me. Very few people can get close to me, and those are the one's I trust to never hurt me. You don't want to live like this the rest of your life, looking over your shoulder. Even though it's been 4 years, I still harbor those feelings of fear just below the surface. Your kids will end up with memories that children should never have. Please, if you don't leave for your sake, leave for their's.

FLPrincess... Please re-reading your story numerous times. Listen to what you're saying. Listen to what the kids are going through.

You say that you can't come back to Ohio because of the cold weather.

Cold weather vs. ending up dead

It's your decision.

Please do something NOW before children's services opens up a case on your children. It's only a matter of time.

...choose cold weather...

GET THE HELL OUT!!! I was assaulted by my 1st husband...who promised he had never hit another woman before me. I found out later he hit his 1st wife, then me & now his current love interest. And her told he the same thing..I've never hit a woman in my life!!! what a joke!! However, this frequent flyer of TDC has continued to abuse the curent love interest and she still stays with him!! I was smart, I got out after the first time!!!

RUN BABY RUN!!!!

Get out now and dont look back he made sure that you saw what his rage was like. He cut your stuff animals to give you an examples of what he may possibly do. He will do serious harm to you.. I think you need to get out dont let him get too you .. when he starts to apologize you need to think about what he has done too you and your life.. You are your kids life and they are yours if you were to be taken away from them how would they survive with out your love. Your love is within you and no man can give you that. You life starts with you and never let no man take it away from you. Your dreams and your soulmate are there to make you happy.
If you need someone to talk too i am here. So feel free to send me a message anytime

i will be brutally honest to you. no women should ever have to beat in any way but you know what you have to do. why are you questioning what you need to do. you have someone there to help you and willing to take you in to their home and face the possibility something can happen to them. I would do this for my best friend in a heart beat. trust me i saw her geat beat down so bad she almost died and so did her baby she was pregnant with. luckily my godson who is 14 years old today managed to live and he was sent to prison becasue her grandmother would not reveal where she was being hidden. than he held a gun to her 14 year old sisters head and threatened to kill her when her sister turned to run he took a telephone cord and wrapped it around her sisters neck and then turned around and threaten to kill her mom. you need to leave and i dont think anyone has to tell yuo this, you know it already.