Hi!

I am bit frustrated for one thing, and I wanted to share it with you people. I am really happy that I found PTO, I have get couple new friends from here, and would love to get know many more new people.

But every good thing has its shadow.
In my PTO-history I have get messages from few women, who has just wanted to pm me, and tell me that I shouldnt trust and believe to my friend, that he is a liar for me - and guilty, not innocent as he tells he is.

Ok there is only one person who knows the real truth and that is he. And I am not very naive person, in fact I have really hard to believe and trust for people. And if he would be murderer, who cares - I think everyone needs a friend, and he is really wonderful man for me.

I really appreciate our friendship, and as much as I have read about his case I 101% believe to him. And he havent ever ask anything about me - we have really nice friendship. He also respects my marriage, so we just have really good friendship, nothing else.

I have get these messages.. "Dont believe for him. I dont know him in personal, but I know his story, he is lying, thank god you are so far away from that dangerous man" etc and then:
"He is nice, but no innocent" Why some people want to do this.
I wrote to last writer, and ask her to give reasons why she is talking things like that - she never wrote me back. Then I told this to my friend, and he was disappointed.. He knew that woman.. she had been writing to his my friends friend, and my own friend refused to write with her. She has also make lies about her own friend, that they are engaged even they are not.. This all doesnt sound very mature.

Also my friend and other his friends keep gettng these " Hope you die soon & painful" letters to deathrow all the time. It doesnt sound really nice either.

Again I have hard time to express myself by English, but I hope you guys understand what I am meaning. My friend is also very frustrated, because this isnt first time people has lied about him by PTO.

I think this should be a group too support each other, as it is, but I have also few bad expriences. But still I stand & fight beside my friend, and I would love to come here to share my feelings, but I am really bored to get those messages.

I'm so sorry that you've experienced such immaturity and negative behavior on the part of certain PTO members....but those people are few and far between here. It's my feeling that the majority of our members are kind, loving, considerate folks, who would never stoop to such garbage.

Please don't be bothered by the actions of a few bad apples, when there are so many more good ones in the PTO barrel :D

(((hugs)))

Susan

I'm sorry that you have received these pm's from PTO members!
nobody here should really be judging anyone else, or anyone elses's friendships ...
we are here for support, and that's what we should give each other!

don't pay attention to the people who are telling you negative things about him, chances are, not only do they not know what they are talking about, but they probably don't know the whole story, nobody does except for him ...

huggs ...

:wave:

I have found nothing but love and support from my new PTO family :grouphug:
Please don't let a "few" keep you from coming back to us. The majority of folks here just want to help and be supportive. :grouphug:

You are very welcome here.

I agree with Irisheyes and Whiskeylullabye, the majority of the members are very kind, considerate people, who only want support, and some understanding regarding their situation.

Unfortunately, just as it is with anything, something good and helpful will always have "haters", and people who have absolutely nothing to do with their time, or energy. I am sorry you have had this experience, but I can assure you that does not reflect the majority of members.

You never know that road someone travels until you have walked down it beside them!!!!

You can never know why others say or do what they do. There are many reasons for the ignorance of others. I think you should follow how you feel, and disregard others judgement of your situation. No one has a right to judge you, or who you write, defend, love or whatever!!! Thank them politely for their opinion, and tell that that is all it is....their opinion, and we all have one!! Some are just uglier than others!!!

Take care...and if you ever need anything, let me know!!! I am just a (positive) :D PM away!!!! :grouphug:

Thank you all sweet people about your fast replies...
Yes I know majority of PTO Famly are really caring and sweet, and I have get to know many of them, but only it feels so strange that some people want to judge me, even they have also their own connections to "deathrow".
I dont go anywhere - I am really thankful about PTO. And really sometimes need someone to talk to - about this fight with my friend Robert.

Hello :)

I am sorry you have experienced such negativity. It isn't fair to you or your friendship. Try not to let it get you down...although I know it is hard.

I have had a similar experience in which I felt judgement from someone I thought should be able to understand my situation. Although we share a journey (friends/loved ones on death row) our experiences are still unique....so it is hard to find others who can truly understand. I wish you the best with your friend...I am glad you found each other :)

Best wishes.

I'm so sorry to hear that you have had an unpleasant experience with a few members here. However, I would like to say that even with people we deal with that may have different opinions and thoughts, PTO is an unconditional support group. I personally have made some very wonderful, true friends here that I will cherish for life. SHake em off girl! You have much more support and love from PTO than the negativity you felt in these situations you mentioned :)

Take it easy! ((((hugs))))

I'm very sorry that this has happened to you. Although we ask that people take issues to private messaging that does NOT mean they can just say anything they want to you in a PM.

PTO Rules/Policies are still to be followed in PM's. Here's a part of that policy:
• Private Messaging (PM) System:
ALL of the general rules listed in this forum apply to the Private Messaging system, especially soliciting, advertising and sexually related PM’s. Violating any of these rules in the PM system will result in immediate removal from the community.

If someone is sending you inappropriate Private Messages please forward that PM to a super Moderator (the ones with the blue names) and allow us to take a look at it and determine if the member who sent the PM is breaking the Rules/Policies.

mrsdragon
Super Moderator

I think it says a lot that wehen you asked the person why she said that, she would not answer. Could jealousy be involved here? Just a thought...anyway I'm with everyone else- no one should be bothering you around here, and I think the kind of thing you are describing falls into the "inappropriate" category. Hey, most of us would NEVER do that to ANYONE. HMMM. Who ever would have thought death row folks could be catty? (gossipy, game-playing)I always picture people supporting those on death row as having halos and wings! Somebody's halo is tarnishing!

Wow, this whole thread just blew me away and upsets me a great deal. My sister was one of the people who wrote you, angry_ram, when you first posted ASKING for information on this death row inmate and that information was provided to you along with web-sites that you could visit because you wanted to learn more about him and his crime. She DID warn you to be careful because this man did murder, execution style, several people and is well known in the prison community for targeting women overseas to win over their affection to help defray his court costs.

Not ONCE did my sister say you should not write him. Not ONCE did she ever pass judgement on you or criticize you for writing him. Everyone, including this man, deseves a friend. But you ASKED for that information and it was provided to you - along with a very strong be careful. What many of you stated in the posts above is that noone really knows what happens? As a matter of fact, there are several people who DO know what happened that day as there were witnesses and survivors of these gruesome executions. This was a horrific crime that rocked our community.

It is amazing to me that all of you, who are SO against passing judgement on others, sit here and write all these posts about the horrible, negative, evil PTO person who PMed angry_ram with a warning of caution. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. My sister PMed her, several months ago, out of great concern for Angry_ram because she sounded young and impressionable and was worried that she may be getting in over her head. She was VERY relieved that Angry_ram lived overseas because she was concerned for her safety.

The bottom line, if you want to write him - good for you and we are so sorry that our expressions of care and concern are "boring" you.

Since I do not have a friend or family member incarcerated, fortunately, I am using PTO as an information resource to help me become active in being and advocate for changing the current appalling penal system in the USA.
Almost everyone I have communicated with, including several pms have been gentle, kind, knowledgeable and generous people who are doing their best to support and help. I think they are typical of many of the PTO members.
I am sorry you have had these negative experiences...I really think very few members are like that and I am afraid that the only advise I can give you is ignore them....and continue to enjoy and benefit for the majority who are not like that at all.

However, I just saw caring4u's response. If that is the not nice pm situation you were referring to then I think there is a lack of communication.
It sounds like this member's sister was just trying to be helpful in her concern for you...and in entirely an appropriate way. Maybe you just misunderstood? I can see why caring4u is now somewhat upset!

Hi! I am sorry for what others have said........please know you are so so welcome here...I love your "accent" I have a friend that lives in Helsinki Finland! Good luck honey!
~Katie

uh, if this was intended just as information in response to a person's curiosity, then I apologize. It just sounded like it was kind of dragging on and becoming a campaign of sorts. There are at LEAST two sides to every story, and no one should be blamed for trying to protect another. But the way I read the first post, perhaps your sister was not the only person and perhaps others were less- uh- fair and balanced?
And if this guy really IS famous for trying to take advantage then God bless and I totally apologize.

Hi again! I don't want hurt anyones feelings telling, that I am bit hurt. Sorry if some has hurt of my writings too.
Then "Caring for you!" Ok... I understand your sisters point, but after (many months after her contacts) have get lots of pm's from one single person. And there was after your sister (I think I know who you are talking about) some other woman.... And I didnt start this thread because of your sister..
That last one who pm me... Her pm's weren't all caring or nice, but today I got again letter from my friend, and there he told me more that lady who has send me those last messages, and I really have doubts for her mental health. Also she is writing really bad letters to someone Deathrow, because he refused also writing with her... I got to see one - so now I understand.

And for my friend on "row" - he tells he is innocent, like many other guys there.. But it can be true ... Correct me if I tell wrong numbers, but I have heard that over 10 men have seen innocent AFTER execution and over hundred set free after beeing on deathrow some time. So there isnt any physical evidence dna or things like that for my friend not even eye-witness' etc. One man just wanted to save himself and stage him about it. That is my pont of view. I have get bored that people copypaste to me his sentences etc. I know how those murders happend, and it is awful tragedy whole story ... also my friend has to live that thing on his mind each day .. even he is innocent. I am bored that people only look up worse parts of crimes, and dont care to look up other facts about case, and think maybe that "horrible murderer" is talking the truth.. maybe he isn't.. But it really doesnt matter for me what other people thinks anymore - he is my friend and I am proud to have so special friend like he is. And most important thing is that I have get not so nice letters from other men too, ;-) But he really respects my marriage with my husband, and in every level is very caring man.

Now I have been writing to him for one year, and many many letters.
He havent ever ask any money-support from me, and I havent still send anything. I have think to send him something for X-mas and his B-day, if I have extra.
So I cannot understand "Caring for you"'s this sentence:

and is well known in the prison community for targeting women overseas to win over their affection to help defray his court costs.

I know two of his pen pals and they dont have this kind of experiences. I would like them to write their point of view to this thread too.

He havent ever ask more than photographs and friendship from me.
I am really getting angry more and more. If some one is going to prove that it is true, that he has been seeking money then I am really gonna shut my mouth, but I cannot believe this.

Everyone thanks for replies - hugs.
THANKS FOR HAPPY PM's TOO! I WILL REPLY TO EVERYONE IN PERSON.

And that last woman who wrote to me had been writing with my friend - few letters, where he told his story.... and then HE my friend refused to write again, because that woman was writing to his other friend there on deathrow... so he didnt want to write to his friends pen pals.. so it is bulls*it, that she lies some things for me.... even she knows those things.. I have think that maybe i will copypaste her pm's here, but without her nick name or any other details she would be identify. Let's see. MAybe this is enough about subject - I dont want to hurt anyones feelings, and i have get too hurt in this life sometimes, so it is enough for me too, lol....

I'm sorry hun this has happened to you :( I think you should do like Mrs.Dragon said, if you still get these disrespectful pm's contact admin and let them know about that. Otherwise I wish all the best to you and your friend!

Rauhallista joulun odotusta,
Susan

angry_ram if you continue to recieve these nasty pm's please forward them to me and I will deal with the person who is harrassing you.
Also you can block her so she is not able to send you pm's, you can put her on ignore.
PTO is a place for support and though we all may not agree it is againist PTO policies to harrass a member either in the open forum or by pm.

So hun if you have any more problems with anyone, please forward those pm's to me.

softie

i am so sorry about your expeirience. like the others say...pto is not here to judge your friendship, but yyet to support your feelings thruout your situation. hoiney this is a huge site and you are bound to have haters...shake em off :)

People can be so cruel. It should not be anyone's business but yours who you write to. This man respects your marriage and has asked nothing of you but your friendship. Everyone deserves love and friendship. So you just keep writing and enjoy the friendship that you have found. And don't worry about your english. I understood what you were saying.

Hello everyone!

I am really thankful for this nice replies I have got. This week I got letter from Robert, and he has also got copies from this thread - he was also very happy to notice how sweet and warm people are here in PTO, so he thanks also about all sympathy he got from you. THANKS :D :D

And then here is also little correction for "Caring 4 U" from Robert...
She wrote that:
"What many of you stated in the posts above is that nobody really knows what happened? As a metteer of fact there are several people who do know what happened on that day as there were witnesses and survivors of these arguesome executions"

Robert wanted to reply like this:

" This is true. There was witnesses and survivors, but what she didnt mention was that not a single one of these witnesses and survivors EVER identified me. None of them ever said that i was one that did it. Though they did identify somebody else. Guess she forgot that part of deal"

Also Caring 4 u wrote:

"and is well known in the prison community for targetting women overseas to win over their affection to help defray his court costs"

Robert was sad about that comment and he wrote like this:

"i'm not exactly sure what she's talking about to be honest. A long time ago i wrote up an information letter about my case that explain all of what was going on, and that help that I needed back then. That's all I have ever done. I don't ask penpals for money. If they want to help me, that is because they want to. Not because asked."

Robert also writes this:

"And; what she said about being glad that you live overseas so she's not worried for your safety. That is ridiculous. I've never hurt or threatened a woman so her saying something like that is just a "round about way" to try to make you nervous. Its stupid for her to say something like that. She doesnt knw me and has never met me. All she knows is what she's heard on the news. So She doesnt know my side of the story, so she has NO right to talk crap about me, like she knows me. Anyway thank you for defending me. Most of people who contacted you seem like pretty nice people. REAL GOOD PEOPLE"

I still wanted to post this all, and thank you all nice PTO-ladies.
Merry Christmas to everyone, and also Good Luck and sweet moments for new year.

LOVE!

PEACE

TO YOU AND ROBERT

I am glad he has you in his life!

Merry Christmas!!

I think that this isn't anybodys business who you love or want to be with, so don't take it to personal what those people say, stay strong!

Martha

Merry Christmas "Caring 4 U" and also thanks to Matuska and Happy Holidays for you too...!

Merry Christmas Angry Ram, and please pass that along to Robert too!

:wave: Haswtch:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
And I will send your greetings for Robert too!
THANKS!

Angy Ram:
I have read this thread and am so sorry that you have had to go through this. Whether Robert is guilty or innocent should not matter. I agree with your orginal post, only HE knows whether he is guilty or innocent, and yes there have been ALOT of people freed from death row. Caring about someone and believing in them takes a special person, obviosly, not everyone is up to the task, but hang in there, your love and concern for Robert is wonderful-- I hope he knows what a very special friend he has!!! :)

I think that some people can be so silly. I have gotten posts before when campaigning in Nicks case, who happens to be innocent but bc it dealt with a strong emotional situation the world is so quick to judge, that he got off easy bc he got much less then life, he was up for murdering his own daughter but was held accountable for not protecting her. Alexa's case is now technically unsolved bc the prosecution continues to cover their rears in allowing the mother to lie, not an allegation it is documented. The general public trusts in our system when the system can be blind. They believe everything they read in the papers. They made up things that never appeared in Nicks statement to try him in the publics eye, but people believe the media only prints the truth. Nick and I have never looked at ourselves as anything more then a prisoner and a prisoners girlfriend bc no matter how we got where we are we are here. But he is indeed innocent.

If you believe your friend then I say go with it. Of course I encourage you to look into his case, I lived and breathed Nicks case and if for one minute I thought he was guilty I wouldnt be here now. Although I do agree that you should know what exactly he is in for and what are the contents of the case and the evidence bc it is hard to be sure. I wasnt sure just bc Nick said, I was sure bc of his actions and the contents of the case, and actions of Alexa's mother bc I got my chance to look her in the eye and see that she was lying and had no real true feelings about her daughters death, no real tears, no pain. The aftermath and the things i found out about the mother proceeding the trial and the case that seemed more like a three ring circus in the courtroom sealed it for me.

Be sure but done let others influence your decision. You stand your ground for what you believe in and dont let a few bad eggs ruin the whole bunch there are many good people here. But like every where, here or on the street, you know how woman can be, they can be the hardest species to get along with. Just hang in there and stay strong Love ya Angie

Hi!

I am bit frustrated for one thing, and I wanted to share it with you people. I am really happy that I found PTO, I have get couple new friends from here, and would love to get know many more new people.

But every good thing has its shadow.
In my PTO-history I have get messages from few women, who has just wanted to pm me, and tell me that I shouldnt trust and believe to my friend, that he is a liar for me - and guilty, not innocent as he tells he is.

Ok there is only one person who knows the real truth and that is he. And I am not very naive person, in fact I have really hard to believe and trust for people. And if he would be murderer, who cares - I think everyone needs a friend, and he is really wonderful man for me.

I really appreciate our friendship, and as much as I have read about his case I 101% believe to him. And he havent ever ask anything about me - we have really nice friendship. He also respects my marriage, so we just have really good friendship, nothing else.

I have get these messages.. "Dont believe for him. I dont know him in personal, but I know his story, he is lying, thank god you are so far away from that dangerous man" etc and then:
"He is nice, but no innocent" Why some people want to do this.
I wrote to last writer, and ask her to give reasons why she is talking things like that - she never wrote me back. Then I told this to my friend, and he was disappointed.. He knew that woman.. she had been writing to his my friends friend, and my own friend refused to write with her. She has also make lies about her own friend, that they are engaged even they are not.. This all doesnt sound very mature.

Also my friend and other his friends keep gettng these " Hope you die soon & painful" letters to deathrow all the time. It doesnt sound really nice either.

Again I have hard time to express myself by English, but I hope you guys understand what I am meaning. My friend is also very frustrated, because this isnt first time people has lied about him by PTO.

I think this should be a group too support each other, as it is, but I have also few bad expriences. But still I stand & fight beside my friend, and I would love to come here to share my feelings, but I am really bored to get those messages.

Suzeg3 thank you for your beautiful & supportive words. I know I am on right way. And I really do hope, that some day here can be day for justice for Robert too. He is nice man. He haven't got good cards for this life, but he truly is innocent man, and sitting there in deathrow about these horrible crimes he didnt commit... and there somewhere free man, and my friend is paying from his crimes by his own life. But I try to think a way to fight this nightmare with him... Maybe someday I can be the happiest woman in whole world hearing, that he is going to get away from there and start his life again. I just wish that he could get new trial as soon as possible, and that this time people would listen his point of view... and let him have has chance to prove his innocence.
If there is anyone who is interested about this case, just pm me.

Justice4Alexa
Thank you also about beautiful words, and sharing your story.
You are strong woman with good heart and attitude of life, don't you ever forget that. Don't you and Nick ever let go for hoping, that one day there can be justice for little Alexa.

Happy Holidays for both of you, and I wish all the best for new year to you ladies.

With love

N.

well there must be some really bored people around, who are investing more energy in pointing out other peoples mistakes, rather than working on there own. but you can learn from that.. don't judge. because everybody is entitled to their mistakes. they are making theres by pointing at others, don't make the same mistake like they have. don't point at them for their mistake. if you get angry at something like this, you just use engergy in wrong places. it's not worth it. go ahead with your friendship, and let them find out for themself that it's a mistake to judge.

Angry-Ram,

I think what you do out of Friendship is wonderful!!!!:thumbsup: . I do understand your hurt at those PM's, but I hope you can find a lot more great people here. I have a son in prision, he got his sentence stacked by Judge. He is my only child. He fought for his innonce and got booted by Judge. I pray that no one ever Judges someone until they take the speck out of their own eye. :grouphug:
If you ever just want to talk I'm just a PM away.


Merry Christmas
to You
and your Friend

Hugs,
Carolyn

Schmusi34 & momhurting Merry X-mas for you both :) and all the best for new year!

@angry_ram

same to you too :)