As most already know, my son is going to court on Dec 1 and I will be driving there this Sunday - by myself. I found out yesterday from the attorney that he intends to put me on the stand. It has to be as a character witness because there is absolutely nothing else that I can tell them. I just don't know how I am going to handle this. Please, please, someone give me ideas how to get through this without going to pieces. How do I confront the evidence without letting my son see how devastated I am?!! It's already tearing my heart out because with finalization getting so close, each phone call consists of his crying and apologizing for being such a "bad person". And it's not only my son but my DIL also - trying to be supportive to her (since we are basically the only "family" she has) and encourage her to hang in there and look at the whole picture. God, will this never be over??!!

Hanging on by a thread -
Pam

I am sorry this is so hard.... I have no answers. Just wanted to say hang in there.... When my mother went on the stand for my brother-convicted of murder there was no question on whether or not he was guilty-she cried and cried. I would think that means more, so by all means cry your eyes out, cry for the victums, for you son's life, for the mersy of the jury.... It cant hurt... Your son has to understand you are hurting because of where he is going not because you blame him or have grudges for what happend... Did this help you at all or make any sense? Good luck! You will get through this....KIM

Pam. My heart goes out to you. I've been where you are now and it is very painful. Kim is right...cry. Be honest about your feelings. Counsel is probably putting you on the stand for both character and mitigation purposes. He needs to show the other side of your son, especially if it's being tried to a panel. You might be asked how what he did makes you feel (especially if you're testifying in mitigation). Look your son right in the eyes and tell him exactly how you feel. He and you both need to have that out in the open. I did that through my tears to my son (although he already knew) and was also asked what I would say to the victim's family. I spoke directly to them, through more tears. Being strong is only good enough for just so long. After a while, you have to acknowledge the emotions involved in this and, as you know, they are very strong and undeniable. Your honesty will go far with the Court and with your son. It will also help you begin the healing process. We share our children's pain and sorrows as if they are our own; but it is their road to walk. We can only be there when they reach out for a steadying hand. We aren't superhuman and we can't deny the pain we feel. Don't worry about going to pieces. Pieces can be picked up and put back together. Answer the questions in your own words. I feel sure counsel will review the questions he will ask prior to putting you on the stand. He should also prepare you for any cross-examination by the prosecutors. Just remember, answer only the question asked, no more. And don't forget to hug your son every chance you get. He knows you love him. I'm here for you hon and I'll be thinking of you. Have a safe trip and let me know how it goes!!