O.K. GUYS.....


WHERE ARE YOU? I KNOW THAT WE HAVE QUITE A FEW GUYS OUT THERE WITH WIVES & GIRLFRIENDS IN PRISON.

TELL US YOUR AND YOUR LOVED ONES STORY... WE ARE HERE TO SUPPORT YOU.

DONNA

And Guys, it would be helpful also to me since I will be joining the ranks of convicted felons. Tell me what your loved ones have experienced, how they cope, especially if they have chilren, how do they help them, don't be silent...
kali

hmmm, looks like the guys lost their tongue?

You want to know our story,its real simple. My wife is in Fed prison, and gets out in 4 years and 6 months. We have 5 kids between the two of us, great kids. Since she has been gone,9 months now, a part of each of us is missing.I have been with her for almost 3 years, and when she kisses me at visitation, I still get goosebumps.I have found myself looking at her picture,often, and it brings warmth to my heart and a smile to my lips, everytime.When the phone rings and I see it is her on the caller Id, my pulse increases.I have loved her since the moment I laid eyes upon her, and thats the truth.I thought I had lots of friends before she left, but as it turns out I maybe have a handful.She may be in prison, but that has not changed the way I love her, and those who tell me I should move on are not my friends. The kids and I live for this woman, and I would give my life for her.We write daily,talk on the phone 3 or 4 times a week, and go visit her twice a month.With 5 kids and a mortgage and a 12 hour round trip, its all we can do.Simply put, she is our everything and we love her dearly. Steve& kids

I haven't had a female inmate long enough to comment. So far it's just been stuff unrelated to her situations.

The last time my wife did time, she got out in 2000. There's not a lot to talk about. I just wish that I had PTO back then.
She experianced the same things that guys go through (except the womens prisons are a lot more sexually oriented). She had to endure disrespect from guards, & staff. She also received substandard medical care. Being that I had done a lot of time, & so had she, we knew what to expect from her incarceration. I tried to make her stay as comfortable as possible. I made sure she had books, money, mail, pictures, & anything else she asked for. Being she was older (43), & knew how to do time, she didn't have too many problems, or at least problems she couldn't handle.She made a few friends, got a job, & developed a program that has worked for her before. Being I too am a convicted felon & was on parole, I couldn't visit her. She didn't want the kids to come visit her (she's like me, except I didn't want any visits). She had some major health problems, which naturally were ignored. So the hardest part for her was doing time with failing health. When she got out we had our usuall grand party, & then we got away for some private time together. Thats about it. -----Ken

(except the womens prisons are a lot more sexually oriented).

what do mean by this? do they get assaulted more, are the assaults focused on the facts that they are female?

About Kconner56 mention of the womens prison being alot more sexually orientated,here is what Stephanie has learned.Her first day there she was asked if she had a wife, by several women. Of course she replies no, I have a husband and kids. It seems, at Carswell anyway, that there are alot of lesbian women.At visitation I see many women with there WIFES visiting them.She has several good friends there that are straight and watch each others back. Being forced to do any thing out of her sexual preference would be harder at Carswell, it is federal and seems to be well watched.She has told me that some lesbian women seem to really fall hard for others there, and the siuation can be very uncomfortable. Steve&kids

ow I can imagine how uncomfortable it must be when you know that some of these women might have an eye on you> I don't know how far they would go, but I guess it's also possible in a women's prison to be raped by another woman?
Scary!!

Thanks for all that info. I worried about women trying something but it seems the way Stephanie answered was the rigth way. I would not have known what they meant if you didn't share that. Thank you. Steve, you are lucky to have found the love of your life, and so is she....I wanted to print of your post and send it to her it was so touching....Kali

Steve, You hit it exactly on the head. Women couple up a lot more than men do in prison, & it is more overt. I know a couple of women who are straight on the streets, but are lesbians when they are locked up. In fact one of my best friends, who's staying with me for a couple weeks, his GF is locked up on a parole violation, & she hooks up with women on the inside, but she is faithful to him on the streets. I know a couple of working girls who do the same thing. The girls like the men (most but not all) try to turn someone, instead of resorting to violence. It's like a trophy to them.----Ken

kali, I agree with you, regarding Steve.

Steve you are very lucky to have someone you love so much in your life, & your wife is also lucky to have a man like you to love & care for her. I'm sure this whole situation is hard on the kids, but with you as their dad, I'm sure you ease their pain, & you all help each other cope with the situation.

Good luck-----Ken

steve, is your wife at the carswell federal prison camp for women? i am trying to find information on it and on the bryan texas camp

First, thanks for all the compliments on the shared love between Stephanie and I. I have been married before, and thought I knew what love was, but when Stephanie came into my life, Wow, I never knew what real love was before Stephanie. Faeriegirl, my wife is not at the camp, but it connects with where she is at and the freedom at the camp is a lot better than where Stephanie is at. And where Stephanie is at, its really pretty good.I believe that Fed Ex has a wife or girlfriend who did some time in the camp at Carswell. You might ask them , they reply quickly and with knowledge. I am proud to have all of you as my friends. Steve&kids

faeriegirl, any info you would like about Carswell where Stephanie is at, just ask. Steve&kids

I appreciate your reply Steve, and I wanted you to know that your earlier posts really gave me hope and courage. My fiance has been incredibly supportive throughout this whole ordeal, but i am riddled with insecurity for the period when i am in jail. He has given me no reason to doubt him, I am just scared. And reading what you wrote made me realize that love is unconditional and forgiving and that we can make it through.

I have about 10 zillion questions, i hardly know where to begin. Carswell is a prison camp isn't it? What are the conditions like? What kind of jobs are given to women in federal prison camps? Are there fights? How many people in a room? I am sure these are silly questions, but it is the little things that I am so unsure about.

Thank you everybody :)

faeriegirl,I think you will find that your man has the same insecurities as you.Believe it or not before Stephanie left,I was worried that she would forget us.Carswell is a prison camp, but there are two patrs to it. One is inside the walls and the other, is inside. Stephanie will be able to go to the outside camp in 2 years.The outside camp is like barracks, you could walk out if you wanted to. But DONT! The inside is a regular prison,AND IT IS VERY WELL KEPT! After you are there for 60 days you can get a room with just two bunks, but the first 60 days you are with 3 others women. You can go to college, get your hairdresser licence, etc.. Steph says the is a great library, and the food is comparable to a restaurant. Really good food, fresh fruit, sald bar, sweets, etc.You dont have to work , but you can get a job if you want. Anywhere form working in the cafeteria to taking pictures. pats sucks, but so does everyones. Like maybe 30 or 40 bucks a month.We send Steph 200 a month extra, and she always has a bunch left over at the end of the month.What else do you want to know? Oh , visitation is friday 5 to 830, sat and sun is 8 to 3 and mon is 5 to 830. You get to hug and kiss at the beginning of the visit and at the end. All fed holidays are 8 to 3. You can sit inside and talk or go out in a yard and sit on the grass and talk. Kids get to hug and kiss on her all they want. They have several rooms with toys and tvs with kid movies and games etc.. Its really great compared to County where she was at.She has been there since April 4 and there has been only 1 fight. Make sure all of your loved ones are on your PSI before you leave, that way they will automatically be on your visit list. Ask away, i will tell yopu all I know. Steve&kids

By the way, i am using a new keyboard, forgive the typos!Steve&kids

Carswell sounds good compared to most places. Will I be able to bring my own clothes at all at the prison camp? How about books? What are the jobs like? Are they 8 hrs a day? How about the shower and bathrooms? Any information is greatly appreciated.
Steve, was there ever a time that you got really angry at your wife before or after she left?

faeriegirl,glad to see you back!First, about the clothes.Only bring what you are wearing because you will be given the choice to send what you have back home or give it to charity. The clothes they have are not what you would buy at the mall, but they are not bad.No one will outdress you, cause you all wear the same, in a way. At visitation you wear a tan type clothing, either a skirt or pants and a tee with a tan shirt. Its all loose fitting,probably for a reason. But when you are not a visitation you can wear green or blue clothing also. You are issued shoes but can purchase Nikes or reaboks if you want.Stephanie can get almost any book she wants there, including law books. great selection she told me, on most anything. I started her a subscription to Cosmo and Vougue and People mags, and they let her have them. i also bought a subscription to our local paper and that way she can keep up with the local stuff around home.It is 7 hour shifts, 5 days a week.Jobs are so many, from suicide watcher to photographer to server in the lunch room.You take what you are given and after aperiod of time can request any job that comes up that you can do.Yes, I got really mad at her after she was gone for just awhile and I feel like an ass now.I never knew what all she did around home and with the kids until she left and I told her I was really pissed that she did what she did and got time.It was something she felt she had to do and had she gotten me involved i would be in jail also.Never again will i judge her, i have no right,I will just love her and support her.(email removed as per PTO policy) if you want to PM me I will PM you back with our phone number and answer your questions. I am always up late and up early.Steve&kids

Hello, maybe this category could use some information. Somewhat knowledgeable about this subject a few insights to Ladies in Prison. Generally these women have been incarcerated for drug offense, more so than men. Other crimes of credit card fraud, stolen checks and the like all relate back to drug problems. True statistics aren’t available but I would say about 95%.
Women in prison don’t receive as many visits as men do, or continue a relationship with their former mate. It is usually the woman who will gather up the children for a visit. Some have sisters or mothers who help, many do not. Men often fade away, seeking a more tangible companion.
Sexuality is somewhat a different subject. Most women are from broken and abusive relationships. It is not as much sexuality but trust, these situations existed before incarceration.
Hope exists in finding a new situation, escaping those who are users. Many are receiving education where possible. I do know many who are glad to be behind bars, and even a few who confessed to crimes just to seek refuge.
Female inmates are generally younger than male inmates. Again this probably is due to drug use; a lot don’t live very long on the streets or in abusive situations.
I personally feel that “corrections” should focus on the female inmate. Often her treatment includes children, statistically future criminals. Also way too many female inmates are “victims” from fathers, brothers, boyfriends and the like. Our courts don’t see the difference as laws are not flexible.
I do have further insight into these subjects; however don’t really blast them out a whole lot. I will help anyone privately, just ask.

Alot has been said here and Im not sure where to start. Having done 39 months of state time I found as different a group of people there as there is here. For the most part the girls I was with were like me, just trying to cope with thier situations....which are different than men. I found the expericnce much less violent than I had expected and probably formed much tighter friendships than I would now. As for the sexuality comments above, while it clearly exists, it is far from rampent and kept realy private - the rules at the facility I was in were realy enforced. I think the one constant for most of us was the lonliness, especialy those with kids.

I was going to post in the penpal area, but since Joey's post, I'll do it here.

I agree with Joey, drugs are a major factor with women behind bars! I have personally, checked out many from online rap sheets and found a long history of drug problems and prison with a lot of them, along with the supporting crimes.

A lot have made a 1st contack with me (an ad from Joey's site) and from there rape sheet of many times down and/or on probation for drugs, they still write as "let the good times roll"!

Scary for a single guy!!

whether seeking a friendship or whatever...wihtin the walls or out,,,these days are not normal so everyone including those on the inside have to be careful but when seeking for that diamond in the rough, you will come across some coal...