My baby has so much going on inside and i don't envy him for the world. I can't imagine all the emotions these men are going through once they are released. And men being men... they won't show it. Or try not too. Most are determined to get thier life back on track, but have a "fear" of failure taunting them with each rejection. But God knows what HE is doing. And I MUST rest in that because I THINK a relationship is the last thing some of these men need upon release. I say this because i know i am driving Daddy crazy (and he I). But we know we love each other to the fullest, and patience is a virtue, so we just have to deal with come what may. On the otherhand, the love and support from a soulmate is by far the greastest gift I think God could give. So i ask myself, will I be a help or a hindrance? I choose to help.
What about you?

AWWWW, Miss this is so sweet. God will give you everything you need to be all that you need to be to him and he to you.


1 Corinthians 13

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

MissOne....

It seems like since the last post things have improved. It is such a trying tie for these guys when they get out. I still hav edaily struggles with my fiance and he has been out since June 17. But like you said, during this hard time, we can choose to help or hinder the situation. As frustrating and emotionally draining as some days are, I choose to HELP my man, because I love him and I would do anythign in the world to see him succeed in life and never end up back in prison again!~!

Miss, great post! I couldnt agree with you more about God knowing what He is doing! YES YES YES!! I gotta keep telling myself the Bible verse, "Be still and know that I am God." knowing that helps me so much! girl keep resting in Him! I'm wit ya on that. Tell Daddy I said hey! :wave:

I agree wholeheartedly and I of course choose to help, I also choose to allow him to assist me with things I was doin' just fine on my own while he was locked down but you know teamwork is a good thing. It's a two-way street for sure.

I'm so glad you are feeling optimistic!!! =)

Hugggz,
Patty

All I can say is AMEN to what JuBaby said!

MissOne, glad you are feeling better. Keep praying.

AWWWW, Miss this is so sweet. God will give you everything you need to be all that you need to be to him and he to you.


1 Corinthians 13

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.


That's what I'm talking about. That's the kind of love i want to share with my baby and all those whom i love. Thanks for sharing. And thanks to all who replied as well. God will give us ALL we need.

HEY GIRL IT'S ME - MA-J2. AS YOU KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE IN A LOOOONG TIME. I'M SO HGAPPY TO HEAR DADDY IS HOME. YOU KNOW ME AND RELIGION, BUT I DO BELIEVE IN STANDING BY YOUR MAN. MY BABY FINALLY GOT MOVED TO A CAMP 2 WEEKS AGO. (LEWISBURG, PA). HE'S DO TO GO TO OTISVILLE, BUT WHO KNOWS. I'M STILL DRIVING 5 1/2 HOURS EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. I'M SO TIRED AND DEPRESSED.
I JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN THE OLE SITE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR E-MAILS, AS THEY ALWAYS CHEER ME. KEEP UPDATING!

Hey MAJAMES :)

I've missed you. But i have recieved a few e-mails as well. Hand in there with your honey, honey. One day all that driving will be behind you. Then you can start on a whole other set of issues to tire and depress you. LOL I'm just playing. :D Be encouraged MAJAMES!!! Even though you don't believe in God... HE believes on you.

Most are determined to get thier life back on track, but have a "fear" of failure taunting them with each rejection.
Chris has a hearing coming up in June and as much as he wants to get out he is starting to get nervous. We had a conversation on Sunday about about his biggest fear is going back. I am confident that he will never go back, but I do see how he has put so much pressure on himself that it will be easy to get discouraged. I think they have so many ideas of what they want to do when they get out and when those things dont happen it does take a toll.

Reading all these stories about the coming home really help me prepare to help him better.

... I do see how he has put so much pressure on himself that it will be easy to get discouraged. I think they have so many ideas of what they want to do when they get out and when those things dont happen it does take a toll.

This is 100% true!!! Bottom line. And anyone who wants to be a helpmate to thier man better recognize this as such.

Thanks for sharing TNC. That was on point. :thumbsup:

Anybody else care to share FEEL FREE!!! As if i had to tell y'all that :rolleyes: LOL

Missone,

Great post. Girl, you are a mind reader. :-) Very succinct. Many of them are excellent men, want to change and have the desire to be great providers. However, they feel frustrated when they are unable to obtain their goal.

Often times, being in a relationship can be more stressful for them, especially when they want to give their mate the world.

In my opinion, to sustain a relationship w/ someone that was at the retreat :-) it has to go beyond love. We have to want it, work at it, nuture it, etc. It's taxing on both parties.

I knew there would be some challanges, but when he came home, it was a whole different set of new challanges. However, I have made a conscious decision to stand by him and to be his help mate. I am trusting God to lead and guide us.

Missone, thanks so much for the candid post. You expressed what many of us were/are feeling. Sometimes it's hard to find the words to express how we're feeling.

You're on the right track w/ Daddy.

They can do this. We can help them. This is not rocket science. It's life. Sometimes I think that each of us in his/her own way make it more complicated than it has to be. I believe in me and mine and I believe in you and yours...

Many Blessings to one and all,
Patty

Great Great post Missone !

I think as much as they are scared of failing, i think we on the outside also have this idea set that the day they return will be perfect, and thats what i think messes us up !..Life is hard..for them even harder..but we must choose to be there for them..

As hard as his incarcaretion was, in my case him being home is harder..but I will do anything in my power to make things work , to fight for love,

When you feel like giving up, think about why u held on for so long ! Nothing in life is easy but we can get past the obsticles !

Best of luck to u all !

oh, my missone, i really am plzd you are feeling better!!

you sound like a woman with conviction!!!!!

you and Daddy are in my prayers for much peace, joy, health, wealth, and happiness...
francis

Hi :wave: MissOne!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

I had to drop by to see how things are going now............ take care gurl!!!

As hard as his incarcaretion was, in my case him being home is harder..but I will do anything in my power to make things work , to fight for love,

When you feel like giving up, think about why u held on for so long ! Nothing in life is easy but we can get past the obsticles !

Best of luck to u all !

Some may think i don't love Daddy when i say this, but love ain't got to be hard and i ain't feeling it if it has to be. It isn't rocket science, huh Patty. I do all in my power, but it's simply not enough. My baby NEEDS to be with his family because TRULY we are not ready to become husband and wife. We love each other to the fullest, but I don't need/want a boyfriend or another son... i desire a husband. I'm still holding on because i have accepted Daddy as such, but him going to H'town, hence being apart from me AGAIN is a tad bit much for me. We INDEED have obstacles and God only knows if we will get past them. WILL/CAN Love conquer all? Sure it can. If not with HIM, then someone else. LOL :D We shall see.

Now back to being serious... I'm going to support my baby and love him the best way i can and I think that entails letting him go. I mean why can't we just be friends, huh. I've been reading a lot of stress in some of the threads of late. It is becoming apparent that patience and understanding is needed across the board. Let us all not stress so much. Because hey... WE ARE TOO BLESSED!!!

My baby has so much going on inside and i don't envy him for the world. I can't imagine all the emotions these men are going through once they are released. And men being men... they won't show it. Or try not too. Most are determined to get thier life back on track, but have a "fear" of failure taunting them with each rejection. But God knows what HE is doing. And I MUST rest in that because I THINK a relationship is the last thing some of these men need upon release. I say this because i know i am driving Daddy crazy (and he I). But we know we love each other to the fullest, and patience is a virtue, so we just have to deal with come what may. On the otherhand, the love and support from a soulmate is by far the greastest gift I think God could give. So i ask myself, will I be a help or a hindrance? I choose to help.
What about you?Such a wise post!! :bow: I am feelin you on this MissOne. A relationship is the last thing some of these guys need until they get themselves together. :hifive: Mine could happen any time now and I pray to Almighty God to be as strong and wise as you! I am already planning to give space, all the way to China if need be. Best of luck to you, you are my hero and thanks for sharing your wisdom!! :)

Dear Missone!!
so, i am confused, now..
what is going on, are you okay?!
i am calling you tomorrow!!!!

no, love isn't rocketscience, but, relationships require work, they just don't happen, the attraction, excitement..all that is there..but, learning to live with someone, dealing with each other's issues brought into the relationship, learning each other's needs, wants, and expectations..

communicating..really hearing each otther..
yes, it is work...
i mean there must be a million books on relationsships...you know?!

i mean the united states has a high divorce rate, around 50% of marriages end in divorce...

and, i do believe for some, many really, who have done much time, are affected, and have developed a means of surviving which do not serve them well in the free world..and, thus this is what has to be gently stripped away..

it is like if you stripped all the bark off a tree it would be naked and freeze, die...
but, gently the bark sheds it's layers as new one's grow...

i send the best to you!!!!!
francis

Obstacles become opportunities, tough times challenge even the most dedicated. I truly believe MissOne, that you have such a great attitude about the changes in your relationship. Sometimes we have to take the road less traveled and in your case you choose to be unselfish even in an attempt to get what you want. The natural tendency would be to cling to this man until you squeezed the very life out of this relationship so while to some it might seem that you aren't trying hard enough to make this work I believe you have chosen the right path for you. That takes alot of courage and faith and I for one encourage and support your decsion. This is not the end it is another chapter and we shall see how it unfolds...

All the best,
Patty

Start off with telling him that you admire his strenth and that you really love him..Then tell if he needs to talk yyou are there to listen..Talk with him no tat him and if he chooses not to talk, ok he may want to later, But if you critizise him for not opening up he prob never will..God bless

Obstacles become opportunities, tough times challenge even the most dedicated. I truly believe MissOne, that you have such a great attitude about the changes in your relationship. Sometimes we have to take the road less traveled and in your case you choose to be unselfish even in an attempt to get what you want. The natural tendency would be to cling to this man until you squeezed the very life out of this relationship so while to some it might seem that you aren't trying hard enough to make this work I believe you have chosen the right path for you. That takes alot of courage and faith and I for one encourage and support your decsion. This is not the end it is another chapter and we shall see how it unfolds...

All the best,
Patty

Now i see what you were talking about.

francis I am ok. But you can call me anyway. I know what you're saying but that's hard to do long distance, you know.

joenash4lyf, we talk (me mostly), but we talk and laugh and kick it with the kids and other stuff too ;) , but our PRESENT needs, wants and desires no longer match :rolleyes: but we're working on it. This is not the end it is another chapter and we shall see how it unfolds...

Thanks Patty You're a jewel. :)

Okay that's twice today I've been called a jewel, my biggest fear at the moment is that someone will sell me on e-bay!!! LOL

Love you MissOne ~ You're doin' just fine and I believe in you 100%

Hugggz,
Patty

Such a wise post!! :bow: I am feelin you on this MissOne. A relationship is the last thing some of these guys need until they get themselves together. :hifive: Mine could happen any time now and I pray to Almighty God to be as strong and wise as you! I am already planning to give space, all the way to China if need be. Best of luck to you, you are my hero and thanks for sharing your wisdom!! :)

There you go... when he gets himself together i will "hopefully" be right here.

Thank you cinderella. :)

As for strong and wise... to God be the Glory for ALL that. When i was trying to fight against "all odds" it made me cry. But it has been revealed that things IN MY LIFE happen for the best. Your post lifted me up because i wasn't feeling strong at all, let alone a hero. :D And the space all the way to China cracked me up. Best of luck to you too and your welcome :p

Miss One I hear you on this. You know it is great to be a help to your man as I and all of us on here have been. But what I am struggling with now as it sounds like you are too is that more is needed in a committed relationship than for us to be doing all of the helping and giving all of the time. It's a two way thing; we have needs too and in my case my needs are simply not being met! The men need to help us too and be there for us!

Hey Miss I am just stopping in to see how you are doing and to let you know that I hope you two works things out together. You really deserve the best and I pray you recieve all that you are looking for. I can tell you have a big heart and will do anything for Daddy.

Miss, I just stopped in to let you know I've been thinking bout ya!LOL You know I feel you 100 Percent about you both being on the same path about everything. There is no I in we! Stay strong, this is another chapter in the book. Look forward to turning the page.

Princess you are almost correct. I would have done "almost" anything. Still would if he would get some "get right".

Majic the pages are turning... But Daddy is one page and i'm on another. We're OK as long as we don't talk about anything to deep (like US). :D I have empathy for him because he seems so confused and unsure. :confused: I'm still trying to help him, but he is in God's hands now. He always was but you know what i mean :) I feel like i've done all i can/will do. He should be going to H'town real soon whereas his family can assist him further and i can have peace of mind.

MissOne ~ You KNOW you have my love and support, always will....

I have a question and I ask it less out of curiosity, more because I think your insight will help others in similar situaitons... what will you do once your man is gone to be with his family? I mean in general and on a day to day. I realize that when it comes to your relationship much of that will depend on how he handles things but what are your immediate plans?

Patty

Awwww MissyPoo (MissOne). Maturity in life or relationships sometimes just aren't in sync. But going back to childhood---sometimes we want what we want when we want it. And then we get to adolescence, and we want it all right now and think we know it all. And then we get to early adulthood, and we aren't sure what we want or why. Then we continue to mature, and we fine tune what we want or negotiate and navigate to get it. As you cruise into your maturity try to enjoy some of the navigation. You are taking your time to really fine tune your wants, I am sure that with God's grace and direction that you will arrive where He would have you to be. You are in my prayers---cause even when we make decisions as mature adults, we still hurt in the process.

MissOne ~ ... what will you do once your man is gone to be with his family? I mean in general and on a day to day. I realize that when it comes to your relationship much of that will depend on how he handles things but what are your immediate plans?

It is not like we have been in a routine for a long time. My routine will be the same as it was when he was locked up. God, Family, Work, Play. Daddy can get in where he fits in. :D

Naw... still one dy at a time girlfriend. :)

~smooches~

Hey RY :)

Well said and very insightful. :p KUDO'S honey :) And thanks for the prayers. :thumbsup:

Well I believe in staying the course and I believe in you. Ultimately I know in my heart that you will continue to be the same loving, thoughtful, strong, blessed creature you always have been and come what may you will live your life as it should be.

Feelin' Good About You,
Patty

AMEN!!! :bow:

I wish you the best and lots of strength. The best thing you can do is keep being you and keep taking care of you. If it is meant to be, it will be!

Hey KACE :)

You already know i'm going to take care of me. :D

BUT... I really don't think this was meant to be. The season has changed.

...more is needed in a committed relationship than for us to be doing all of the helping and giving all of the time. It's a two way thing; we have needs too and in my case my needs are simply not being met! The men need to help us too and be there for us!

He can't be here for me if he is in H'town and he's not really here for me now that he is in Dallas. Yes I love him and I'm sure he loves me, but we agree that things just are not working out.

Still yet... we vowed to remain friends till the end.

Hidey Hoe...

miss...just stopping in to say whats up and i hope everything is going well for you and daddy. :) you cand do this girl...you are a strong woman!!! love, ashtynn

Thank you Ashtynn :D

I was just reading the "What's Happening" thread and it hit me.
Daddy loves Moma, but he is not IN LOVE with Moma.

Bottom line

Awwww MissyPoo (MissOne). Maturity in life or relationships sometimes just aren't in sync. But going back to childhood---sometimes we want what we want when we want it. And then we get to adolescence, and we want it all right now and think we know it all. And then we get to early adulthood, and we aren't sure what we want or why. Then we continue to mature, and we fine tune what we want or negotiate and navigate to get it. As you cruise into your maturity try to enjoy some of the navigation. You are taking your time to really fine tune your wants, I am sure that with God's grace and direction that you will arrive where He would have you to be. You are in my prayers---cause even when we make decisions as mature adults, we still hurt in the process.

I like that rywill...so true! Missone, you said something that I think about a lot, "I love him and I'm sure he loves me, we agree things just aren't working out."

That's so tough to admit, but I can see that you have made peace with your "course" and I think that takes tons of faith! I often wonder if we just
push for things we think we want, and it just isn't in the plan?

You still are being led by the best guide on this earth, so I know you will succeed!

coolchick...that was well put. missone i admire your strength, i really do. you have this "i am doing what is right for me" attitude and girl, that can get you places. i am proud of you. ~ash

You still are being led by the best guide on this earth, so I know you will succeed

Out of your mouth, to my ears and God's heart. So let it be written... So let it be done.

Well at least you both agree that it's not working out. My husband and I can't even agree on that!

Miss One I'm sorry to hear things are not working out exactly as planned but you sound like you are doing well and have it in perspective.You have a lot of strength woman and will make the best of it :) HUGS

:bow: I bow down to your great wisdom and strength!!!!! I also love your honesty, yes you are the bomb! I think you sharing this story will be beneficial to so many silent women going through the same thing. You go girl!!! :)

Ya know I luv ya girl!...... but you know when I see him, I'm gonna chunk a rock at him, right!!!! LOL So glad I talked to you last night!

MissOne~ I have so admired your strength and straightforwardness in the past as I do in the present and I'm certain it will remain the same in the future.

In this life we all have to face some hard truths about ourselves and those around us. You face them head on and with such grace that I just have to believe that whatever is around the corner for you, with or without Daddy is going to be the best possible world for you.

I"m with you honey!

Love,
Patty

:bow: I bow down to your great wisdom and strength!!!!! I also love your honesty, yes you are the bomb! I think you sharing this story will be beneficial to so many silent women going through the same thing. You go girl!!! :)

Cinderella Cinderella... Thank you girlfriend. I was just thinking the same thing. :D lol

Majic... gIRL YOU KNOW I WANT TO THROW SOME ROCKS AT HIM MYSELF But he gone be OK. All will be revealed in time. Sunshine

Sunshine don't be sorry. Although things may not have worked out as I planned... things are working out. God has plans for my life (Patty ;)) far more greater than I could ever dream, hope or imagine.

Isadora even though we agree that it is not working out, we disagree as to the reasons why. Still yet, i miss him when he is not with me, but he gets on my nerves when he is. Truly it is the annointing that allows me to keep it real with myself and others at all times.

HEY MISSY - I'M NOT HAPPY TO HEAR THIS. THIS MAN HAS TRULY TAKEN THE BEST FOR GRANTED.
I'M COMING TO TX., YOU BEST BELIEVE. I'LL THROW SOME ROCKS HIS WAY TOO.
DADDY NEEDS TO WISE UP. BUT IF MOMMA'S O.K., SO BE IT.
YOUR'RE ALWAYS IN MY THOUGHTS. MY PRAYERS ARE YET TO COME.

LOVE YOU M.O. - LOVE M.J.

Greetings MAJAMES :)

Good to hear from you. :thumbsup:

Yeah, I'm OK. And i'm sure what side the bread is buttered on will be revealed to Daddy in time. Still yet, MajicLady and I have a BIG bag of rocks for him. ;)

Thank you for your thoughts and i'll be waiting for the prayers. :D

P.S. I miss my baby too. :(

I can relate to that, you miss him when he is gone but he is on your nerves when he is there with you! Yup! I may have missed it cause I didn't read all the posts but are you still seeing him?

P.S. Do you have enough rocks to share some with me???? :angry:OMG rocks? I didn't just say that, sorry! You know what I'm talking about Miss One.

ROFLMAO Yeah i know watchu talkin bout. lol

Yeah girl, we have enough rocks for all these men. My poor baby is acting like he is on some ole other stuff for real :)

to answer, your question... I have/had seen him or talk to him everyday until two days ago. He's a lil upset with Moma, but he'll be OK. If our communication ceases all together i wouldn't be surprised. He has shocked the $h!t out of me already.

Well honey I can empathize with that! So has my husband as you know.

I'm in a constant state of shock over here. Can't believe how these men can act. Now, I can help throw those rocks, but y'all gotta throw some over here too! Then again, are they even worth us working up a sweat? They will still probably act stupid...

(((MissOne))) Girl you know I loves ya...everything about you. Your honesty, courage, strength, dedication, & wisdom. Your words are sincere and touch my heart each time.

I know it's not God like of me, and I read your beautiful words about how hard it is as a ex-prisoner tries to get his life back together once released. But I am so angry with Daddy right now!

I pray that whatever path you choose, that God continues to bless you. Sabrena.

OK Sabrena that's enough. :) You ARE going to make me cry.
And Kace you are right... It ain't even worth it.

Hi (((MissOne))) I apologize for sounding off and being so unforgiving...I had my tantrum yesterday...Cried until I believe my soul got clensed (hehehe). And just stopping in to say, don't let anything or anyone get you down. And most importantly, thank you for lifting my spirits in the midst of your own time of need;) Stay Blessed! Sabrena

Girl "we cried together."

i am so touched by your caring. consequently, i should be thanking you. So THANK YOU!!!

we all sound off, yet we all must forgive as well. I'm sure it was not Daddy's intent to hurt me, but he hurt me nevertheless. Still yet, i'm staying blessed because I AM.

~smooches sebrina~

MissOne ~ Your attitude, thoughtfulness and courage continues to make you my hero! Girl you just keep on keepin' it real. Whatever his plan the good Lord definitely has one with you in mind and I just know it will be amazing.

I love you,
Patty

MissOne, I am not sure what happened or didn't happen but you have my respect and best wishes for happiness!

Thanks Mia. :D