I am sure we are all feeling a little down this time of year thinking of our brothers and sisters who are in prison. Does anyone have any positive stories to report- has it changed you in a positive way; has your sibling learned a new hobby or skill; have you made any friends while visiting your sibling; has their attitude changed- are they determined to change their life? Maybe it has even brought your family closer together. I know I have become a lot less judgemental and a lot more tolerant and compassionate and certainly a lot more educated about prison conditions- what about everyone else? Has anything good come out of this?

O.K. Don't laugh, but on a really down day I read Chicken Soup for the Prisoners Soul. When you find positive in prison you hang on to it for dear life. This book made me feel good when I was simply raidiating negativity. Every once in a while I pick it up for a little feel good pick me up.
Jenn
I am sure we are all feeling a little down this time of year thinking of our brothers and sisters who are in prison. Does anyone have any positive stories to report- has it changed you in a positive way; has your sibling learned a new hobby or skill; have you made any friends while visiting your sibling; has their attitude changed- are they determined to change their life? Maybe it has even brought your family closer together. I know I have become a lot less judgemental and a lot more tolerant and compassionate and certainly a lot more educated about prison conditions- what about everyone else? Has anything good come out of this?

We all have to look for the silver lining. That is what I am doing. Please understand that this is hard to do considering that my brother, Jimmy, passed away on October 15 after being out of jail for 2 months. He was released on a medical commutation because he developed cancer while he was in jail. I am just going to make a list here of the positive side of things:

1. Jimmy had gone through the Key To Life Rehab program (he was in on drug charges) at William S. Key Correctional Facility in Ft. Supply, Oklahoma. He was doing great. For the first time in many years, he was in his right mind and he was committed to staying clean on the outside. He turned his life back over to Jesus and he was in a place that he wouldn't have been in if he hadn't gotten the wake up call of going to prison. I want to note that these positive changes for Jimmy happened even before the cancer diagnosis.

2. Our family has been brought closer because of this tragedy. We don't take the time we have with each other for granted anymore.

3. My other brother, Ronnie, who is also incarcerated on drug charges has committed himself to staying clean when he gets back to the outside world.

4. We have made new friends and re-connected with many old friends as a direct result of what we have been through this year.

These are only some of the positive highlights from our experience.

After Jimmy died, we were going through his things and we found a review letter that was written by his boss from the job he had at the Rec Center in Ft. Supply. The letter talked about what a positive attitude that Jimmy had. It also talked about how he was such a good example to the other inmates that he was in charge of. It talked about how Jimmy was always willing to lend a helping hand to others. Specifically mentioned in the letter was Jimmy's willingness to provide emotional support and counseling of sorts to the other inmates. (this all was written prior to the cancer diagnosis also...) Now, that is a positive story! To know that Jimmy's life meant something and that he might have provided some example or some sort of comfort to someone else and made a positive change in their life - that brings great joy to those of us who were left behind.

I am in tears - Jimmy sounded like such a wonderful person - he helped so many people-he was truly a blessing in so many lives. I am glad you are here to tell us about him. You and Jimmy and Ronnie are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi, I think this is my first time on this forum; usually am on the NC forum or Parents with children in Prison forum. I saw this and wanted to kinda add my two cents worth from my incarceration.

I know with Thanksgiving coming up it can be very difficult, for both sides. I remember spending several Thanksgivings in different prisons, and it can be quite frustrating. But in my time I noticed that most inmates do hold it together pretty well, much better than you can imagine. I used to work in the kitchen at one camp during Thanksgiving and I remember much from it. Many prisons actually prepare a large Thanksgiving lunch for the inmate, and I do mean large. Of course it depends from one camp to another. Some camps have activities like table tennis contests, horseshoe pitching contests, baskeball games, things like that. If your loved one can just hang in there and just talk to other inmates, he will be ok because he knows he is with those who feel the same way. That will not eliminate the pain, but it will soften the blow a bit that he cannot be home on such a nice holiday.

But having said that, YOU have to be positve too. When you speak with your loved one, you have to stay as positive as you can. The inmate feeds off his or her loved ones, so it is vital that you show that. I am not saying cover your emotions, because that is asking too much. You hurt, and they hurt. But in a time of holidays you have to support eachother. It helps you get to the next day, and the next.

Hi Masonik- I am glad you posted here - I always look forward to reading about your experiences in prison and your advice to us on how to handle different situations. It really helps to know about the day-to-day life our loved ones are living and how they might be feeling at different times.Thanks so much!

jimmy's sis,
I am sorry that you lost such a great brother. Two evils in this world are drugs and cancer.
I know you are proud of your brother and you have every right to be. It was so nice of you to share and wonderful that you are giving your brother the praise that he deserves. Let the memories of him continue to be a guide and inspiration to you and others.

polar,
Thanks for mentioning the book. I love the Chicken Soup books and never imagined there would be one for prisoners. I am going to look for it right now!

Polar670 - Did you send a copy of "Chicken Soup for the Prisoner's Soul" to your loved one in prison?

Polar670 - Did you send a copy of "Chicken Soup for the Prisoner's Soul" to your loved one in prison?
To get books to inmates in Oregon they have to be sent from the Publisher.

I got to talk to my brother on Thanksgiving. It was really hard, but i was really happy to hear his voice. I could tell how happy he was to talk to all of his family but it is really hard on all of us. I also found out when my brother is coming home. Feb. 7th of next year. it is coming so soon. I am so happy i can't wait for him to be with us again. My sister whom he has not gotten along with in years is even going to fly him home. during the last year they have started to rebuild thier relationship so now we all know he will be able to come home safe. Thats my good news!

Rick'sPooh- What great news about your brother being home in Feb.!! That is wonderful that your sister is going to fly him home and that they seem to be getting along now- so something positive did come out of this. You must be so excited- you will have to tell us how he is adjusting once he comes home. :)

yes in a time of need like this as our loved ones are incarcerated...it does tend to bring families closer together....my bond with my mother and 2 brothers are incredible now....my younger one still has alot of anger inside of him but in due time he will settle down also....thanks for listening i am open for talks...leave me a message....angela